Double standards vent
Anyone else have a BM (or BD) that operates under the double standard rule all the time?
GRRRRR. I am just venting.
DH got into it with BM last night. He's been working a LOT lately, long hours, and 6 days a week. I think I mentioned it before---he has a small car dealership and business has just not been good. He's had to cut his salesmen's hours, and also had to let his book-keeper go. Of course, this means he has had to work extra long days to pick up the slack. As the owner, he used to have a great deal of flexibility in his schedule. If he needed to leave to pick his son up from school, he did. He usually only worked the Saturdays that SS was with his mom.
Well, now I have been picking SS up from school pretty often, and I've been the primary caregiver, as most nights DH does not get home until 7, 8, even 9 pm on Mon and Wed.
A few times BM has gotten SS off the bus on DH's nights, and DH has picked him up from her house---but then she b*tches and complains. But those situations have ALWAYS been her choice---DH tells her either "Love can pick him up at the normal time from school or I can pick him up from your house."
It's damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.
Mostly, it boils down to she is angry that when SS is here at our house, DH is often not home. And I understand and get that. BUT:
a) this is (hopefully) a temporary situation. Hopefully, things will pick up at work within the next few months and DH will have more flexibility
b) SHE doesn't want SS during these times. I could understand if she was angry that I'm the one caring for him--but that's not really it. She WANTS her nights off to go out and party, but she doesn't want him to be with me at the same time.
She reamed DH out last night about how he's not being fair to his son, this is awful, he needs to get back to picking him up at 4 pm, and he needs to be home on the weekends, blah blah. YES, I get it, it's not ideal---but keeping his company running smoothly is ALSO a HUGE priority.
What REALLY gets me is the fact that HER husband left for Houston 6 weeks ago. He is laying tile and roofing down there b/c he couldn't find work here. Ok, so he LEFT his 11 year old DD with her mom---he has joint custody of this girl! He is planning on being down there for 6 months to a YEAR.
So it's fine for him to do that--because he is making money to pay for their wedding reception (even though they got married last AUGUST!) But my DH gets raked over the coals because he's been working more than usual!
UGHHHHH. My DH tries so hard to balance it all and be the best dad he can be, a good husband, a good boss, good owner of the company...AUUUGHHHH.
It's times like this that I wish BM would get a damn job so she could maybe have an inkling of what it's like to balance it all!