Time for a change

ashleey__February 22, 2014

My mom met my stepfather when I was 2 years old and my sister was 5. He was a nice guy and would always do things for me and my sister. Things were always fine between the whole family. Even my biological dad got along with him.

When I was 10 my mom had her first child with him. That is when things began to change. He began to treat us different. He got angry at us for little things and would make us put my little sister on a pedestal and never make her upset. The slightest problem would lead to him yelling at us. He would get pretty loud and say things he shouldn't. All of this would happen when my mother was not around.

Now 6 years later I'm 16 and my older sister is 18 and my younger sister is 8 and things have spiraled out of control. Over the years my mom taught us to cook and clean around the house. My sister and I do a lot around the house to help my mom out since she works a lot. My stepfather only works a couple days a week. While he's home he tells my sister and me to cook and clean and take care of everything around the house while he lays down and watches tv or naps. He yells at us for everything and complains about everything we do. Whenever we try to tell my mom he pretends he never does anything. My mom believes us but at the same time she has not seen him act this way with us. She used to stand up for us a lot but lately she has stayed quiet and doesn't really do anything about it. Being home is something horrible.

What I want to know is whether I should tell my dad about everything that is going on, but I fear hurting my mom if my dad asks us to go live with him, which is what I want, or to just try to keep talking to my mom about changing things and take this treatment until I move out ?

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ellendi

Talk to your father. See if the two of you can put a plan of action in place.
You should not be living under these conditions. Good luck and keep us posted.

    Bookmark   February 22, 2014 at 8:38PM
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sylviatexas1

Yep.
Talk to your dad.

& do let us know how it goes.

.

    Bookmark   February 23, 2014 at 7:10PM
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DawnSmith

I agree, talk to your Dad. Does your Mom realize the extent of your stepfathers behavior? If she doesn't, but believes you.. it might not be a bad idea if she "hid in a closet" and saw/heard it first hand when he didn't know she was around.

I worry his behavior may escaluate into more serious situations, I have heard that happening all to often. Keep us posted!

    Bookmark   February 24, 2014 at 11:01AM
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gardenandcats

You do not deserve to live this way. You have for most of your childhood. If you want to live with dad. Then ask him and if he is ok with it then move..If mom can't stand up to your step dad to protect you then its time for you to do whats best for you
I think that more then likely your mom is aware of whats going on..She feels helpless to stop it...

    Bookmark   February 24, 2014 at 3:43PM
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kkny

Please talk to your dad, and let us know how it goes.

    Bookmark   February 24, 2014 at 4:45PM
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ashleey__

Sorry i haven't followed up in months, but to update you guys things have not gotten better. I sat down with my mom and told her I wanted to stay with my dad and she completely broke down which resulted in my sister and I changing our minds. About a week later things were the same again. My relationship with my father is very distant and has become even more distant recently. He is not someone I can count on. I guess the only thing left to do is wait until I am old enough to leave. But thank you all for your support it was great reading your advice!

    Bookmark   May 28, 2014 at 9:09PM
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colleenoz

Hon, if your Mom broke down (and has "gone quiet" lately) I suspect it may be because she is having doubts about this relationship herself. Talk with her again. None of you should have to live like this. No man is better than someone who mistreats your kids.
Either your Mom needs to stand up to this man and insist he treat all her children well, or kick him to the curb and get on with living a better life.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2014 at 10:38PM
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lisaw2015

Would love to hear how things are going Ashleey_

    Bookmark   July 2, 2014 at 9:34AM
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