SS6 is extremely manipulative. I can't even begin to tell you all how much he's got DH wrapped around his little finger. Makes me want to puke on most days. DH coddles him to the point where I have to walk away from it or else I will end up doing or saying something that will get me in trouble.
DH does not want to acknowledge how manipulative SS6 is. I try to point out different examples to DH and all he says is, he's a normal 6 year old boy - what do you want? I have a son that is developmentally disabled. He is 4. SS6 takes every opportunity in the book to take advantage of his disabilities and just be a bully on a lot of different occassions. When I step in and try to moderate the two kids, DH always says I'm being too harsh on SS.
Here is a perfect example. My son gets up in the AM and watches DORA while I get his lunch ready. He sits in the same chair every day. SS6 is eating breakfast at this time in the dining room (DS4 eats breakfast at school with his PreK class). SS6 usually has very little time for watching TV so this usually isn't an issue but it became one the other day. DS4 came into the kitchen to ask me to turn Dora on. He hadn't sat down in his chair yet. SS6 immediately raced over to the chair and sat down when he heard and saw DS4 in the kitchen with me. DS4 then went into the room to sit in his chair and watch Dora like he does every morning and SS6 refused to get up. I asked him to get up and he refused. He said that DS4 always gets to sit in that chair. I told SS6 that he is usually eating breakfast and this is DS4's routine and asked him to sit in another chair. The chair in question is the preferred "kid" chair. I've asked DH to get 4 identical chairs like this one and he refused saying that there are 4 chairs in the room (there are) and that we didn't need to spend money on 4 identical chairs (we have 4 kids) if there were 4 chairs. I argued with DH about this but he wasn't budging. The chair in question is also something that I bought for my DD2 so technically speaking, it's my kids' chair.
So...back to the story...I asked SS6 again to get up and he refused. I then told him that he would get a punishment if he didn't get up. He got up at that point and went and cried to DH. DH and I then got into an argument b/c he says that everybody should get to sit in that chair and they usually do but in the AM, SS6 is usually eating breakfast and it's a non-issue. And then I brought up DH not wanting to get 4 identical chairs and how it is STILL creating problems (and now we have no money to buy them b/c DH spent all the tax money already on computer garbage!).
My point in writing this whole saga is that SS6 was being manipulative when he ran to sit in that chair knowing full well that DS4 sits there every morning. The ONLY reason he did that was b/c he knew what would happen. Then, it's like he wanted DH and I to argue over it (which we did in private). It just gets my blood boiling. And when I point it out to DH what I think SS6's motives are he tells me that's complete garbage and SS6 is not doing anything wrong.
UGH! And issues like these happen DAILY. I just do not know how to deal with a co-parent that cannot see how truly manipulative their child is. And the fact that DS4 is not only 2 years younger than SS6 and he's also mildly developmentally disabled, well, that in itself should make DH realize that SS6's motives are bullyish at the very least. SS6 thinks b/c he's the oldest that he runs the show and believe me, I knock him down a few pegs when he gets that attitude.
I just hate dealing with carp like this. I know you all can relate.