Baby to come this Thurday SO/SD issues...
It has been a while since I have been on this forum. We recently moved and struggled with black mold that has turned our lifes upside down for the last two months....
So in the past I had a hard time with SD5 not eating what I cook for dinner and then getting junk food like nuggets.... well I eventually got to the point where I stopped caring about it and things were easier for me. Just this last weekend when SD was over she pulled the "I'm full" after only eating a few bites and then asked for a snack less than an hour later. SO gave her potato chips to fill up like he does every time. In the past I bit my tounge because I do not want the conflict but this time I totally blew up - I mean really blew up to the point where it was like something else took over my body and I was watching from a distance.....Huge agrument followed.
Once things were all said and done I sat on my bed for a while wondering WTH just happened? I gathered some composure and apoligized for my behavior (I did not apoligize for the way that I felt.) Things were well for the rest of the weekend; we moved on or so I thought.
Last night about an hour after dinner and SD was returned to her mother, SO had a second helping which opened up a can of worms. He brought the whole situation up and blew up in my face. I tried to tell him that now was not the greatest time to discuss things since he was intoxicated, but each time I walked away he followed me telling me how wrong I am and that I am to not get so upset about it and he is the one to make the calls on SD.
Our argument intesified and other things came up. SO is so uptight when SD5 is here for the weekend and everything is DS3's fault. DS is constantly in trouble with SO for what he does to SD like traping her in a corner, sitting too close...ect. I told SO that SD5 needs to learn to stand up for herself and firmly tell DS to back off, afterall we can't be around 24/7 and it could come to a point where she needs to stand up to a bully but cant because she was never taught (this happened to me as a child - I was constantly beaten up by my sister. She wouldn't get in trouble and I was never taught to stand up for myself. I had very low confidence durning school years becuase of the inability to stand up for my self) I don't think that DS3 should get away with being a bully and I do make him back off, but how is SD5 to learn that way?
Anyway, SO is so angry at me he slept on the couch last nigh, didn't talk to me this morning as we were getting ready and didn't call me at lunch time like he does every day. We are 9 months pregnant and having the baby this Thursday. How am I to get things together before then and what if too much damage has been done to recover our relationship? How do I "like" SD again (after each visit SO and I argue about something)? Do I just let go and let him parent her? I just feel that I do so much for SD when SO is sleeping in and feel that when I do decide to dicipline SO frowns upon it. Just so lost and don't know what to do.