Should I...or should I not?

cmestepFebruary 25, 2011

My (2) middle SS ( they are 24 & 25 yrs old) got their girlfriends pregnant ( they both have decided that marriage is not for them at this time...isn't that nice). They are due a week apart,coming up very soon ( did they plan this?). I 've only been in the family for the past 3 1/2 yrs ( I'm the 4th wife...eeeks I know).I started to learn to knit so I can make them each a baby blanket ( even though I 'm not on board with the whole thing...but I'm just the 4th wife with nothin to say). Well my question is the one SS (I don't feel that we have hit it off since I 've been in the picture), I have called him twice for some help on something else I'm working on and just needed to ask him a couple of questions ( would take maybe 10-15 min of his time). He hasn't bothered to call me back and has told my DH that he's been really busy and hasn't had time,but he will. That was a couple of weeks ago...I haven't finished his blanket. Should I....I'm probably being stupid. I see my DH and my MIL showering these people with expensive gifts, but he can't call me back????

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

You should - after all, you took on the task of learning to knit so you could give a meaningful gift to this SS's baby. Your heart was in the right place then -- and, as hard as it may be, you should try to keep it in that place. Remember, this gift is for the baby -- not your SS. And the baby's Mom may really appreciate it, even if the SS doesn't.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 12:04PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I agree with lady q, gift is for the baby not SS. Nice of you to learn how to knit. And babies will enjoy warm blankets.

But I know how you fell...I sometimes feel like I don't want to buy gifts or make anything for older SD because she never bothers to get anything (or at least anything remotely decent) for anyone. But the thing is that she is like this with everyone, not bothering much with doing things for people, not just me. In fact she is nicer to me than to many other people in her family, so it is what it is. Can't change them.

By the my SD is also expecting. I already sent gifts too. I am not knitting though. :)

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 12:59PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I'm sorry...

I agree with the ladies above. Keep knitting!! I've always wanted to learn how. What a gift to yourself (great motivation!).

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 1:37PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Thanks you guys for the "listening". It really does help me to see that yes, it is for the baby and not really for the parents. I don't really think the parents are going to appreciate it as much, that's just kinda how they roll.
Have a great weekend everyone.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 1:43PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

"that's just kinda how they roll."

That's what we keep saying about older SD and her DH, that's how they roll. We'll be doing stuff because that's how we roll :)

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 2:57PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Hee hee. That's how we roll... I say that too! Lol

my ex MIL made my DS a baby blanket -- he is not her grandchild. But I was really excited and it actually meant a lot to me and DD bc her grandmother did that for her baby brother. So I say make it. His girlfriend will love it no doubt. Men are like 'whatever' any way... Your SS probably has wierdness towards you bc you are wife # 4. I had weirdness towards SM bc she was sM #3 but it took me seeing her with my kids to realize she wasn't like the other and deserved a chance.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 7:56PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

And try not to judge their situation. I actually would much rather people not marry bc of a baby. DH and I were not married when we had DS and I think if we would have rushed it bc we 'slipt up' and got caught doing what everyone else is already doing, we may have had problems. Babies are blessings no matter how they come in to this world ... Not being on board with the situation might be where SS doesn't want to really talk to you about it is coming from.

    Bookmark   February 25, 2011 at 8:02PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
adult step son and his girlfriend lives with us
i just want my privacy. we have never had any. met...
My husband hates my kids...should I leave him
My husband hates my kids, and they hate him back, which...
If I could tell mothers of adult stepchildren anything, Part 2
It seems my five-year-old topic has reached its limit...
7 year old step son troubles please help
Hello everyone, I need some advise please. I have been...
Can I handle becoming a stepmom one day?
I just turned 36 earlier this month. My boyfriend and...
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™