I need your help! I have a now 16 yr old step son. I met his mother 3.5 years ago. I have been living with him for 2.5 years. We just don't get a long at all anymore. IMO, he is very, very selfish and immature. He tells his mother to shut up, get away, leave, STOP, and constantly lies. We have caught him lieing about a lot of big topic issues. When at the table or out with friends/family/restaurant, his table manners are horrible. He chews with my mouth open, he makes a huge mess, covers his face with food and doesn't care about sharing food. We constantly correct his behavior verbally..for over a year...but his behavior hasn't really changed,. He will even lean over and just take others food of their plate without asking. All the above I find absolutely annoying and disrespectful. He wants everything done for him but doesn't do anything for anyone else. For example, at the table while eating, he will beg his mother to get up and get everything for him, whenever he wants it. Ketchtup...drink...etc. She still does it and I find it annoying, especially when he shows no appreciation for anything. And then when we ask him to do anything he will say "your legs arent broke".
Now my wife is 6 months pregnant and I am even more annoyed. I dont want my child to be like him, which I dont think will happen, since I would never let that happen. How can i tell her that? Just this morning she is mad at me because I have been ignoring him lately.
I have spoken to his mother multiple times about this and ask her to be tougher on him and punish bad behavior...but mostly it falls on dear ears. She always threatens punishment but never follows through.
Basically, he is very rude and selfish. I could list even more examples but that's what I think it all comes down to. My wife babied him his whole life until I came into their life and suggested not to do that...but it appears to be too late. Just yesterday he yelled at my 6 year old nephew "GO AWAY and leave me alone"...only thing my nephew was doing was asking him questions while playing xbox. I wanted to beat his arse, physically!
How do we fix his selfishness and rudeness? I think its all related - what do you think? Its torture for me to be at home most time and I know once my baby is born I will ignore his existence for my own self preservation. I'm so frustrated teaching a 16 yr old things that I feel I should never be teaching him. My 3 year old nephew was over and they were eating grapes together. The 3 year old kept his mouth closed the entire time even though he could barely chew a grape but the 16 yr old sounded like a horse. I want my 16 yr old to act 16 - how do we do this? Is it fair to tell her my feeling and tell her she needs to fix it?
I am at my wits end...