Vulgar Money

LarajaiaFebruary 13, 2013

When my mum died, my brother and I didn't inherit anything, nor did we expect to. About 2 1/2 years later, my dad sold the family home and bought one with his new wife. He put his half in trust for my brother and I. Dad died just over a year ago, leaving his savings to us (50k) with a life interest in the house for his wife. She says she can move with it all if she wants to and the will seems to support this. She is 71 and says she might live till she is 90. She would often tell me how lucky she is to have money, I think from her first husband and her own dad. Since my dad died, she's been to Barbados, Turkey and a holiday in the UK. My share of my dad's savings went into our house refurb but we need more to finish it so our kids, aged 4 and 7, can have a nice home to grow up in. An additional concern is my mum in law lives in NZ and is on her own now so we'd like visit her at some point. Stepmum doesn't want to help us. Am I being unreasonable to expect that she would?

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When you say your stepmom can "move with it all", what does that mean? It sounds like you've inherited 50K from your father and now that you've spent it all, you want your stepmom to give you more money?

If that's the case, yes, you are being unreasonable. You got your share, she got her share. So what she's spent her money on trips? You decided to spend your share on fixing your house up. The fact that you want/need more money to finish it and want to visit your MIL is not her concern.

    Bookmark   February 13, 2013 at 8:53AM
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A life interest simply means she can live in the house until such time as she either dies or signs away her life interest. Assuming your Dad left his half of the house to you and your brother, she can't sell the house without your and your brother's written consent, and the proceeds from the sale would have to be divided in two, with one portion split between you and your brother.

    Bookmark   February 13, 2013 at 12:23PM
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Thankyou colleenoz. If she can't move without our approval, we would be fine with that but what is causing confusion is that the will says she can but the title deeds say she can't. She's adamant that she can and says we will just have to wait possibly 20 years till she dies! This is all so horrible. I feel positively vulgar talking about it and even though my Dad did all he could to look after all of us, including his wife, it is still causing problems. Damn money!

    Bookmark   February 14, 2013 at 4:23AM
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"we will just have to wait possibly 20 years till she dies"

UGH, so are you saying you're all upset because you have to "wait" 20 years for her to die so you can get more money?

How sick.

    Bookmark   February 14, 2013 at 7:56AM
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A life estate means that the beneficiary gets to enjoy all the rights & responsibilities of ownership for his/her life (pay the taxes, do repairs, etc) or until he/she sells the property with the agreement of the ultimate heirs.

She inherits the house for her lifetime.

The beneficiary can rent the house out if she wants.

The only one in which I was involved was a home in another state;
the widow lived here in Texas & rented the house out.

When the septic system needed to be replaced at a cost of several thousand dollars, she preferred not to lay out the money, so she worked out an agreement with the heirs in which she sold the house & kept 50% of the net proceeds & the heirs split the remaining 50%.

This was at the option of the beneficiary;
the kids had no power to make her sell it under any circumstances.

    Bookmark   February 14, 2013 at 11:45AM
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You really need to discuss this with a lawyer. Contact the Law Society in your state- often the first hour's consultation is free.

    Bookmark   February 14, 2013 at 11:57AM
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Wow. I read your other post and responded and I am now reading this post about your father's will. the picture is clearer after reading this post. Larajaij, your father left you $50K and you spent it and now want access to what your father left his wife. He took care of his wife but left the house to you upon her death. If your father had left that to another family member would you feel as entitled? So, the bottom line is that you don't feel she deserves the house and would prefer her to....what? Move and let you have the house? Larajaij, I am ashamed for you. My father left everything to my step-mother and she gave me a watch that she purchased for him and I was so very thankful to her for that watch. That was his wife and their relationship meant a lot to me because she loved him and he loved her. They may not have been perfect to one another but nevertheless, they loved one another and I would never have considered entertaining the type of hate you bring to her. I was raised differently than you apparently. I imagine you can find people to co-sign your feelings and actions, but I hope you save yourself time and energy and take time to reflect on how you are treating others. If your relationship with you sm is an example of your values, I suspect you are having trouble in relationships elsewhere also.

    Bookmark   February 15, 2013 at 12:08PM
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