yippie!!

liesbethJanuary 28, 2009

We were on a waiting list to get a counsellor organised for the skids, and all of a sudden we had our first interview yesterday. Needless to say we are stoked!!

BM agreed in court counselling that it was a good idea for the skids to go to a counsellor, but when push came to shove she kept putting it off. And finally she refused to sign for permission with child therapist no. 1. It was the policy of this particular therapist to have both parents give permission, and that is pretty understandable. So that is when I posted here first I think, it was so frustrating!!

Anyway, we went on a waiting list for counselor no. 2. She had a cancellation yesterday and we got in. And this is the best news: she does not need to get BMÂs signature, she only needs to inform BM that we are taking the skids and encourage BM to participate. (Which we hope she will). The first appointment for the skids is on the 25th of Feb.

ItÂs like a weight is lifted of our shoulders.. aaaaa IÂm enjoying getting closer to my ideal weight J

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imamommy

I once sat in court as a Judge awarded sole legal custody to one parent because the other parent refused to agree to change the child's school after a counselor suggested it would be better for the child to attend the other school. I don't know all the details of why, but I was surprised such a drastic order was made... I suppose that parent may have been difficult for sometime but it seems the court looked at the decision to refuse something beneficial to the child was enough to go from joint legal to sole legal.

I'm glad you were able to get into counseling despite BM's refusal to sign. Hopefully it will help your situation get better. Good luck!

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 8:41PM
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finedreams

I am surprised that counsellors would require a second parent to sign anything. when DD went to counselling, nobody asked what her dad thinks about it. Nobody even asked who has custody. I Just signed her up. In fact I didn't sign anything either. I called to make an appointment and then discussed insurance payment, that was it. Nobody asked if I give a permission for counseling. In fact when I called, i could be anybody, not even a parent.

Does it depend on kids' age? DD was a minor but not that young. It seems that my expereinces with children's counselling differ from everybody's.

It is not the first time when same topic comes around and I feel surprised...

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 9:45PM
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liesbeth

Oh well, learn something new every day hey?? :-)

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 9:51PM
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finedreams

learn about what?

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 10:00PM
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liesbeth

"I am surprised that counsellors would require a second parent to sign anything." So now you know,some therapists do. Others don't.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 10:13PM
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disengaging

"I am surprised that counsellors would require a second parent to sign anything."

liesbeth,

I'm surprised too. We didn't even find out until recently that SDs had gone to therapy for several years with BM after she divorced her 2nd husband.

Wish you luck!

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 10:21PM
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kkny

I think FD has a relatively civil relationship with her X. And I have never been asked by a doctor to get X to sign off on it.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 10:46PM
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finedreams

I see, liesbeth. I think maybe if kids are seeing counsellors due to a conflict in a family: dealing with divorce, relationship within a family etc then maybe then other parent has to be involved or give permissions...I assume that if BM was encouraged to participate, then it is a family type counselling. DD's counselling was absolutelly not family related and completelly personal. There was no need for either parent to give permission (beyond agreeing to pay for it) and certainly not to participate.

Also in your situation, kids live with mom, mom has custody, their address is at moms, so her permission probably makes sense. DD's address was the same as mine, so it was obvious she lived wiht me. Nobody even asked if dad lives at the same address.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 10:49PM
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liesbeth

We have shared custody and shared parental responsibility, BM does not have sole custody anymore. However she does have skids 65% and we have 35%.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 11:52PM
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liesbeth

So before you guys get all confused again; we do have shared custody and we also have shared care. However the shared care is not 50-50 but 65-35.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2009 at 11:58PM
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liesbeth

Yesterday BM got the call from the counselor, she's very angry and FDH needs to be punished, of course. So also yesterday it was SD12's first day at high school. FDH tried to ring her last night, but the home phone was switched off and once SD's mobile started ringing it was cut off as well. It's the usual punishment, FDH can't talk to his kids when they are with BM. Pffff. Predictable, but still annoying.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2009 at 5:17PM
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nicksmom

Totally off topic here...but why is SD12 starting high school? In February?

Just curious....

Oh, and BTW..I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you and your SD. Hoping for calmer days ahead. Sounds like that shared care time needs to be flip-flopped!!!

    Bookmark   February 2, 2009 at 10:03PM
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liesbeth

We are in Australia so the new year has just started. Summer holidays have just finished, and it's bloody hot overhere!!

    Bookmark   February 2, 2009 at 10:33PM
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nicksmom

I'm ready for some "bloody hot" weather! I'm freezing my arse off here! O

Our school year starts in September.

    Bookmark   February 3, 2009 at 5:33PM
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finedreams

35% is 2.45 days a week at dads. they might have shared custody but kids live with mom and visit dad.

    Bookmark   February 4, 2009 at 11:37PM
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