Not a stepparent issue...but I thought you would all understand

incognitomomJanuary 15, 2011

Last weekend we were at a sporting event for one of my kids. I went into the bathroom and saw a boy hysterically crying and his mom yelling at him. I thought maybe he was taking a loss really hard and she was awful at consoling him. Well as I was in the stall I heard the mom swearing and telling the boy to uncover his face adn then I heard the hits. AFter I got out of the stall I saw her hitting him in the face repeatedly!! When he would cover his face she would grab his arms and hit them to get them off his face. Other women were staring with me. The mom's back was turned to us so I don't think she knew she had an audience. Because I am pregnant I refrained from going up and confronting the mom myself for fear of getting punched in the stomach.

Instead I went and found security. (Which are parent volunteers for the event). I found out that a mom working consessions heard 10 min prior that there was an issue in the bathroom and at that time the mom was just screaming at her son. Anyways I waited outside the bathroom for security with 2 other witnesses. Right before security came the mom left the bathroom and headed back into the event. The boy was still hysterical in the bathroom. WE told security what happened and they got the boy and went walking off with him. I thought it would be taken care of...at least by confronting the mom! But they did nothing. Nobody said a word to the mom because there was no blood or bruising!!!!!!!!

The rest of the event I saw the mom laughing and talking with other parents on her sons team (not the same team as my son). It enfuriated me. I took a picture of her with my camera.

I went home and thought about it. I found her team's website and e-mailed the coach with a detailed description of what happened and attached the picture of the mom and said I would call CPS, but I do not know the moms name or any info. So instead I was forwarding him the info and a picture so he can keep an eye on the situation. I imagine that this was not a one time incident with the mom and that she has a temper. I also worry that if she got this angry in public when people usually keep their composure with kids then I can imagine how she gets in the privacy of her own home!!! I asked the coach to reply to let me know he got the e-mail. Well after about 5 days I heard nothing.

So I forwarded the e-mail to the 5 parents on the team's board. I am hoping someone keeps an eye out for this child! Do you think I did the right thing???

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sylviatexas1

Good for you!

I think you did absolutely the right thing, & to complete it, you should send the photos to Child Protective Services along with an email telling them what happened & identifying the other people to whom you sent the pics:

This is the only way this child can be identified & helped;
I don't think the coaches, parents, etc will do anything, because they don't have "proof", they "didn't see anything", & people just are reluctant to get involved.

CPS needs to be made aware & given the names & contact info for the people who can identify the woman & the child.

    Bookmark   January 15, 2011 at 5:12PM
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mattie_gt

I think you did the right thing. This is not something that could really be taken out of context, like a mother who swats her kid's behind in public or even one who is screaming at a child in the bathroom (where the mother may normally be a good parent but there may be some unknown extenuating circumstances) - it is very difficult for me to come up with any scenario in which hitting a child in the face (repeatedly) is not abuse, pure and simple.

    Bookmark   January 17, 2011 at 11:20AM
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parent_of_one

you did the right thing, I hope they address the issue.

I think you could also send the picture to CPS along with description of the event as well as the team's name, they could easily locate her by asking team's coach. They are obligated to investigate. Or you could at least make a phone call and describe what you saw and ask what to do.

sylvia, educators, and coaches are in that category, are obligated to inform CPS even if they did not directly witness anything. If they do nto report, they could be in trouble. If coach is not sure what to do, he could ask his boss in what cases he must make a report.

I personally would send a picture and information to CPS. If they do nothing, at least you tried.

Let us know if you heard anything

    Bookmark   January 17, 2011 at 3:30PM
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imamommy

I can't believe nobody said a word... or that she continued in front of an audience. What kind of world are we living in? Of course you did the right thing! I'd still report it to CPS with the photo & name of his team... they might be able to figure out who she is.

    Bookmark   January 17, 2011 at 4:06PM
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shakti2574

You should have put out your phone and video the events. That will speak for itself when you send it to the police.

    Bookmark   January 17, 2011 at 7:15PM
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