Have you ever had buyer remorse?

valtorrezApril 27, 2013

When I decided to purchase my home, it was during the beginning half of recession. I am naturally a financially conservative person but this had me really wanting to buy a home that I could afford if my husband loss his job and still be able to save for a rainy day. I am an educated AA female who came from a poor environment. It has always been my mothers dream that I live in a nice home. Most of my friends and my mother's friends children have purchased homes that are more expensive than my home. My home is small, nice, and in a decent working class neighborhood. For the most part I am okay with my purchase, but sometimes I still wish I would have chosen to pay more and be in better location/bigger house. This goes against every grain in my body because I know doing this would have made us have to work long hours and put strain on savings. For me saving money for a rainy day is a most and my security blanket. I truly believe people should live in their means but sometimes I am jealous. Has anyone every felt like this?

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

When I decided to purchase my home, it was during the beginning half of recession. I am naturally a financially conservative person but this had me really wanting to buy a home that I could afford if my husband loss his job and still be able to save for a rainy day. I am an educated AA female who came from a poor environment. It has always been my mothers dream that I live in a nice home. Most of my friends and my mother's friends children have purchased homes that are more expensive than my home. My home is small, nice, and in a decent working class neighborhood. For the most part I am okay with my purchase, but sometimes I still wish I would have chosen to pay more and be in better location/bigger house. This goes against every grain in my body because I know doing this would have made us have to work long hours and put strain on savings. For me saving money for a rainy day is a most and my security blanket. I truly believe people should live in their means but sometimes I am jealous. Has anyone every felt like this?

    Bookmark   April 27, 2013 at 11:29AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I've felt this way sometimes! I am also extremely conservative and we decided to buy because it was cheaper than renting - but only up to a point. A large house would have defeated the purpose. Saving money also makes me feel so secure and happy. It's 180 degrees from how I was raised - constantly worried about money. We had a gorgeous home but we were so house-poor growing up!

I only have to look at my parents who unfortunately fell into the trap of believing "bigger is better." Their lives are so stressful and they couldn't really maintain the grand old house or decorate the way they would like to, it's all going into the mortgage payment even today. I'm so relieved I don't have to live like that anymore, now that I've grown up and can make my own financial decisions. It really tamps down the jealousy when I remember what that was like, or when I call my mom and listen to her voice her fears and stress. Truly it's a much better choice!!!

    Bookmark   April 27, 2013 at 11:46PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I think you are very wise and mature. We moved into a starter home when I was 30, thinking we would move on up in a few years, but life didn't work out quite that way! We were able to make the house payment during both good and bad times, get kids through college, etc. Now we're in our 70's, and just love our little house and neighbors that have been here for 40 years. Life is a roller coaster of good times and bad and I think you are so smart to think ahead and save.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2013 at 3:31PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Maggie.the.pearl, isn't it amazing how our parents have a big influence on us. My mother was part of the "poor keeping up with the Jones". She wanted to have more than we had which always kept us in a money crunch. I always told myself I will save money and live within my means so that I did not have to ask others for help d/t my poor choices. When I was looking to buy a home, my mother kept trying to get me to look at more expensive houses but I refused to d/t knowing how large a mortgage I wanted/ monthly payments. Even though I have made the right decisions and purchased a nice home and have decorated it so beautifully, I sometimes look at friends or other people my age (30's) and see them buying these big houses in very nice subdivisions and wonder why cant I let loose and do this. Sometimes I get tired of being so responsible but I know that if I did do this I would constantly worry about money and be miserable. I recieved support from others on the Buying/Selling Forum and now feel better about my decisions. I will look at my small home and feel proud that I am not stressed out about payments and that I am able to save each month and contribute to our Roth/IRA's. This is what is important- not trying to impress others especially my mother.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2013 at 4:51PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

You made the right decision. Don't let mom or anyone else make you feel otherwise. Enjoy your small house.

    Bookmark   April 28, 2013 at 8:31PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I have felt that way, especially in the first few years in this house. But now all our friends are downsizing and I joke that we just downsized before they did. You are very smart to think about savings as #1. In fact, there is a book that says it is smart to start small, gain equity, and then if you want a larger house later, you'll have more to put down and so less to pay on the house, where the people who started out over their heads are still over their heads with the house they bought.

    Bookmark   April 29, 2013 at 2:59PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

" I know doing this would have made us have to work long hours and put strain on savings" you wrote this...
To me this means you are free. House poor is no joke, believe me. In addition to straining your savings you most definitely would completely destroy your relationship(s). Money is the biggest cause of divorce not infidelity.
(similar to Marti )I have been "downsized" since I moved out and started paying my own bills at the age of 19. I guess it's never bothered me because the majority of my close friends live the same(only 1 has a house) and I like to travel.
I do wish I had a garden(just a small small yard for an apple or cherry tree, flowers, herbs and vegetables(maybe 1 chicken :). I get very frustrated because I love nature/animals (and fresh eggs)so much.
However living the way I do enables me to spend freely when I choose/need to i.e.I got my first computer late 2011, got the internet months ago, all renovation paid in cash, no stress and I got the counter/DW/sink I wanted even though they are the most expensive items anyone in my ENTIRE family has ever bought. And when I want to go away to Europe for a few months that's paid in cash too. All the wonderful memories would be quickly eroded if I was stressed with the anticipation of working untold number of hours in servitude to pay the debt.
So the next time you are walking by a nursery pick up that beautiful flowering plant or two and congratulate yourself for being so smart.(I guess I'm thinking of the GORGEOUS pink begonia I bought and murdered b/c my kitchen is not getting enough light where I hung it). You see if I had a yard it would not have died...
Remember many Americans are on horrible drugs now due to stress/depression, nothing is worth your piece of mind and a good night's sleep. NOTHING--Not a big gaudy, poorly built house, not a big ugly tank car, swimming pool or the overpriced neighborhood. I wish my neighborhood would stop developing into a rich 20/yo's playground...I want my eclectic, mixed affordable neighborhood back.

    Bookmark   April 30, 2013 at 11:27PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I think you did the right thing. In fact, I envy people who live in a small, nice, and comfortable house.

We purchased a nice, big, and expensive house a couple years ago. After living in it for a while, we realized we made a big mistake. It's just too big to live in comfortably. I mean, we can afford it, but there are many nice but unnecessary things that we wish we didn't have to have in our life -- e.g. large lawn and pool are very environmentally unfriendly but we now have to maintain them; formal dining room is not being used but since it helps resale value, we cannot get rid of it and yet need to keep it in its pristine state; etc.

We are thinking of downsizing to something much smaller (and hopefully more comfortable to live in), but it's not happening anytime soon because we put a lot of our hard-earned money into the current house, and we cannot recoup the cost.. not unless the market goes up significantly in the next few years..

This post was edited by ILoveCookie on Fri, May 17, 13 at 11:07

    Bookmark   May 17, 2013 at 11:03AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

We bought a 5 bedroom house with my wifes's mother, which was very nice, and let us be an important safety net for friends and family during the recession (at some points we had 7 people living there.) It also let us host 20 person family gatherings. Since her mom passed away and the other people we were worried about stabilized themselves and no longer need our help, we down sized to a little 1300 sf, three bedroom. It's too early to say whether we will have buyers remorse, but certainly some of my friends have tried to convince me that "we can't possibly be happy living in a smaller house"

    Bookmark   May 17, 2013 at 11:13AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

You go Val!
Consider taking things a few steps further.
Buy the biggest "lot" or acreage you can afford, and build the smallest house you can be comfortable in.

To hell with what anybody but YOU might think about what it is that YOU think best!

We're not some sort of young hippy weirdo couple (anymore anyway), I am a now former Operations Consultant for a very major US based process industry. My wife is still "Director of Technical Services" for a major state university system. This has led more than a few folks to ask "What is wrong with y'all?"

For us, it's more like "Sellers remorse"
I wimped out and let Cyndi have her extra 64 square feet, and we are now building 768 sq ft. That thing about "Happy Wife, Happy Life"......

But, the county tax and inspection folks are not very happy about us building "such a small house" I have a copy of an assessment valuation sheet.... Masonry pier foundation, poplar reverse board and batten siding thereby denying the county of income that we are apparently supposed to feel guilty about not having to pay. Most every decision that involves not much more than nothing but aesthetics is based on that assessment sheet.....

Then there are the masons, they can't believe that we insisted on using all used/left_over bricks and blocks that I scrounged around and obtained for pretty close to free. And their amazement that "Y'all are really gonna try and live in a house this little". Framing costs are very close to none, roofing might just be our biggest expense, but then again, I am thinking of basically building an upside down boat and using some sort of "rubber" coating or single ply EPDM, both of which the county will value at the lowest assessment.
There is no "central" HVAC. Wiring is commercial like, conduit mounted and run outsideof and every switch receptacle everything is on the "outside" of the sheetrock on interior and exterior walls. No holes anywhere through anything
All the plumbing runs a common supply and drain on one 6' length of wall. The water heater is an exterior hybrid gas wood solar system, which being located external to the house proper and in combination with no central HVAC, is a nice assessment deduction.
All the flooring, except for the bathroom and what little hallway that there is (16 sq ft), and all the siding, and all the "paneling" comes from one of two sawmills that are less than 12 miles away. real plank flooring, 8", 10", 12" S4S boards, Sycamore Walnut and Hickory (unless I can find some somewhat local Honey Locust real soon). No tongue and groove, not from a factory somewhere, no "Pre-finished anything and the only transportation involved is from some neighbors woodlot and the sawmill to us. No, as in absolutely no synthetic finishes, just a few coats of a European oi/extract/whatever clear coat. Locally made from local lumber butcher block countertops in the kitchen and bath and in Cyndi's corner too.....
All of our plumbing fixtures are already purchased, and all of everything comes from Craigslist or the local Trader thing, all of our electrical/wiring stuff, 100% of it, well, every thing for the 110/220AC part of it anyway, comes from the local "Habitat for Humanity" Restore. Over time we intend to go all off grid.
We have well for water, but plan on a catchment system too for all that free stuff that falls from the sky.

We'll be fully on a "fixed income" in just a few years, but, with free heat and free water and free electricity and as we are fortunate to have purchased enough land for goats pigs rabbits and chickens, and the bounty of our newly planted tree fruits and berries and a nice garden spot too, we'll have lots to do and lots to eat too, for free.

Live BENEATH your means, and you'll be able to afford your dreams.

What is said about happiness is quite true you know. True happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have. What other people think you should want to have, is their own folly, don't make it yours.

And ditto to what EatRealFood wrote:
"nothing is worth your piece of mind and a good night's sleep. NOTHING--Not a big gaudy, poorly built house, not a big ugly tank car, swimming pool or the overpriced neighborhood."

    Bookmark   May 19, 2013 at 5:45PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I'd take buyers remorse over to small/ simple home over buyers remorse for a large house I had to struggle to pay for. I think you'll sleep much better in your house with financial security then in a larger home with more stress

    Bookmark   May 20, 2013 at 11:11PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I think your choice was wise and restrained. There is so much pressure to keep up with the Jones and why can't I afford this or that although I feel in the current economic situation your attitude is the new frugality.

My dad was of the generation that bought more house and he also urged my sister to buy "up"8 years ago. However, she knew she wanted to travel, enjoys dining out and didn't want to have to worry about large payments. Enjoy your cozy home.... you'll collect less stuff to store, donate and yard sale later.

    Bookmark   June 5, 2013 at 6:39AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

We chose small 14 years ago when we bought this house. Just before making the actual move and starting our house hunt, I had listened to a radio show that had a guest on it that said she got out of debt by asking herself "what's the least that will do?" before each purchase. That one phrase was repeated constantly during our brief house hunt, and because of that we chose a 1250 square ft. 4 bedroom/1 bathroom house and it was definitely the very least we could get by with -- and you know what? It's been GREAT! I like this life, and love this house. Really! I love the 14 tears of freedom that has come with not living among the Joneses that I could never keep up with anyway. I have loved the freedom that comes with not owning a ton of stuff (can't buy it because I can't store it!). I think the significantly lower stress levels we've achieved by abiding by the "what's the least that will do" principle (at least on most things-- I have my weaknesses...) has been good for our marriage, our parenting, and our future - in short I think it's one of the smartest moves we've ever made (so glad I heard that show when I heard it!). And, yeah, I think it's hard to live in the U.S. of A. and not feel (from time to time, anyway) some regret/guilt/shame when you spend less on something -- we're pushed from every direction toward maximizing everything -- so of course the regret will sneak in once in a while, but, at least for me, it doesn't last long. Mostly I am happy, content and proud of the choice.

This post was edited by kris_ma on Sat, Jun 8, 13 at 18:59

    Bookmark   June 8, 2013 at 6:53PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I personally am SO excited to have my small house finished and liveable! I *do* know that the only remorse or worry I have has NOTHING to do with my wants or needs, but 100% to do with friends and co-workers' commenting on it being "too small" or that I'll "regret it later" or "why bother if you're making it so small".

The truth is, like you, I couldn't afford more, or at least if I could, I'd be stressing about money for a long time. I want to have my mortgage paid by the time I retire, I want to be able to pay for kids educations (heck, to be able to AFFORD having kids, lol), a wedding someday soon, replacement vehicles when these crap out, nice family vacation, and no money stress.

I spent a long time dating someone who was all about "bigger is better" and "more toys!" and when we finally split (which is what led to my home build in the first place), I fell in love with someone who has taught me that the size of your "home" is more important then the size of your "house". A 3000 sq. ft. house you struggle to pay for will make it a VERY tiny home once you and your sig. other are fighting about spending, savings and money. While a 1200 sq. ft. house will feel huge when you're snuggled in tight at home.

; ) That's how I look at it anyway. And when it's an "empty nest" I won't be cleaning empty rooms or having to sell my precious home!

    Bookmark   June 10, 2013 at 10:11AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Val, I'm a 70 year old retired woman who had a husband who believed people shouldn't live above their means. I, on the other hand, was the one who wanted to live spontaneously, giving no thought to money. Thank goodness he knew how to rein me in! Unfortunately he passed away 7 months after retirement, but his frugal nature as well as smart financial decisions have made life very easy for me.

Don't pay attention to others who try to intimidate you. Be thankful for the home you DO have and use decorating techniques to beautify it's interior/exterior. Small remodeling projects will also give you more bang for your buck.

    Bookmark   June 10, 2013 at 10:09PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I live in a town that has very old victorian homes, all done up to a T, that, in this economy can be had for 150K. They are BEAUTIFUL inside. So pretty it makes you want to cry. Large, roaming lots with old growth trees, establishes beds, I could go on and on. but I got my house for 65K and I keep reminding myself all the extra money I have each month going to pay off credit cards, and eventually to pay the house off early, and at age 50, I plan to have everything paid off- cars, house, all debt- and all my income will be mine mine mine!

    Bookmark   June 27, 2013 at 1:18PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Yes, I have had buyers remorse. I live in a small row house in a working class neighborhood. It is an urban area with most of the concerns of living in the city. I am a college graduate with a masters degree. I am also an AA female. It's ironic that our situations are similar in some ways. My father has always made me and my sister feel as if we could do better and live in a different neighborhood or 'better house." When he purchased his first home for his family he also bought a row house. He nor my mother grew up in a row house. They are both from the South and grew up not "wealthy" but with parents who worked. My father grew up on a farm and they grew a lot of the food and meat they ate. They were fairly self sufficient. I turn 50 this year and my greatest concern is do I spend the remainder of my years here in this house or do I move to a better neighborhood? The house does not need to be large. It would be nice to have a home where you don't have to hear your neighbor through the wall or just enjoy your life without worrying that if you plant flowers in front of your home, that the neighbors children will pull them up. I could go on but I will stop here and say this. What ever I decide it will be my choice and whether I stay in my current house or move to a single home in another neighborhood, It should be for me and what I feel is best for my needs not to impress my Father or his family. View my blog to see my small row house. Be happy with the decision "you" made.

Here is a link that might be useful: Bloom where you're planted-urban gardening in Philly

This post was edited by amsonia2 on Fri, Jun 28, 13 at 0:05

    Bookmark   June 27, 2013 at 11:50PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I'm in my early 30's, and I bought my smaller home 1 1/2 years ago. Its in a nice town with many newer neighborhoods (1990's and up big monstrous houses) and a few older neighborhoods with smaller homes like mine. I could not be happier with my decision. We almost bought a home 1000 square feet larger in a different town (further from work), for only a little more money. We are so happy that the deal fell through. I sometimes go to friends/relatives houses which are much larger with bigger kitchens, bathrooms, walk-in closets etc and wish I had that but then I go back to reality and think about what we actually need. The best affirmation that we made the right decision came when I was at a party a few months ago. One acquaintance couple of ours sold their house and were looking to purchase another. Their budget was 400,000 which can get you a lot in the chicagoland area. They couldn't find anything they liked so they ended up having this mini mansion built in a town with plenty of homes on the market. She told me that they were looking at furniture and were so excited when they found out that the store offered interest free financing for 18 months so they could actually buy something. It really made me realize that yes they can "afford" the big house but almost nothing else. I wonder where they will be at 65 when it comes time to retire.

    Bookmark   June 28, 2013 at 7:15PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

When I started this post I was afraid everyone was going to feel I was so ungrateful or just plain not understand. It has been an eye and heart opener seeing that a lot of people have felt this same way or have had similar experiences growing up that have made us the way we are. I still have tinges of regret but now that my flowers are blooming in my yard I can't wait to get home and sit on my sun porch with glass of wine admiring what I have accomplished and not having the feelings of anxiety that comes with not being able to pay my bills comfortably. Melissa's I have a friend just like that who has a big house everyone was salivating over then we went there for a visit and found only one room furnished and bedrooms with old furniture you would not expect in a house like hers (when I moved in in my small home I was able to afford all new furniture) lol. She went on and on about the bills and I kept thinking you did not have to move to this big house that you can't afford (if you can't pay bills comfortably I feel you can't afford it). When I get jealous I just remember family members and her and think how they have it all but it does not compare with what I have.

    Bookmark   June 28, 2013 at 8:03PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I am so going through it right now; today was the closing on going from a circa 1960, 4500 sf house that I gutted and renovated from scratch ten years ago, to a 1500 sf house that essentially hasn't been updated since it was built in 1962.

The thing that stresses me out just as much as the size reduction (I'm already feeling claustrophobic, LOL, and I haven't even moved in yet!) is that basically the sale of the large house (bought in 2002 at the height of the market and then completely renovated) is essentially a "wash" with buying the smaller, needs-work one. In other words it's a swap of 4500 sf in very good condition for 1500 sf in "dated" condition. It hurts. If I were making even a little $ on the deal(s) it would be one thing but I wonder if I'll ever stop feeling as if I have traded a Bentley straight-up for a Kia, LOL.

Logic says that for financial reasons I had to do it, because the zoomed up cost of property taxes and homeowners insurance, plus the reluctance of people to buy homes in areas affected by Hurricane Sandy, left me with no choice. But buyer's remorse isn't exactly logical, LOL

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 7:56PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Helena that has to be so tough to deal with - that is quite a reduction in home size for basically the same money. I can completely understand your frustration. Property taxes are so insane in certain areas of the country. We are in the Chicago Suburbs and ours are high but nothing compared to what everyone pays in your area. (I'm assuming New Jersey or New York.) My Grandparent's who live in a 1000sq ft home (maybe less) are paying $7000/year and it's not even in what would be considered an upscale area. As everyone's property values have plummeted the local governments have somehow found a way to keep increasing the property taxes. Then I look at property taxes in other areas of the country which are significantly lower for similarly priced and sized houses and I wonder how their local governments can survive with their lower property taxes and ours cannot with what we pay.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2013 at 9:57PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

You're dead on about the location; this tri-state is a killer taxwise. Here in NY it's the school taxes that are the driver of property tax bills, because the school district tax comprises almost 70% of the total tax bill which also includes township, county, police, public library, highway maintenance, fire, and sanitation fees and taxes (among others).

Communities that have sewers rather than septic systems have that included in their tax bill as well. The larger house has sewers, which adds $1211 to its property tax bill. The smaller house has cesspools BUT of course those entail maintenance at a few hundred dollars every couple of years -- and because that one is a block pool, I will have to get it replaced with a precast a few years from now and that will cost about $5000 to have done.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2013 at 8:20AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

We got impulsive in the fall of 2005 when we realized that my good-paying job was not just for the year that had just ended, but was going on indefinitely. DH's dad had moved in with us in June, when his wife died. We loved having him with us, but he had to go to the basement to do laundry and down 6 steps to let our three dogs in and out, and at a very independent 86 years old, there was no getting him to NOT do those things. Plus, there was the only having one bathroom issue and the fact that we were using every square inch of that house before he moved in.

So we got impulsive and went house hunting and within 8 weeks closed on a much more practical house that was 225 sq ft bigger (1450 to 1675) and had an extra half bath and a first floor laundry. Talk about minimum requirements! [We were very happy in the long run that we did not "win" the two-buyer bidding war on the slightly larger house with the finished basement, huge lot, and in-ground, heated swimming pool. It was 25% more expensive than the house we bought, and with what happened next, we needed the smaller mortgage.]

With all of our stuff squashed into the old house, with peeling wallpaper I had lived with for 14 years because it was pulling off the skim coat of plaster and meant getting the room replastered, with a bathroom ceiling that needed replacement, with original oak floors that needed refinishing, and no room to put everything to do this work, we knew that we would need to move first, then do repairs and put the house on the market. We did this and got the house on the market March 1, 2006.

I tried For Sale By Owner with a Realtor/broker back-up who would get a small fee and who got the house into the MLS. I offered selling Realtors a 3% commission. I had printed "Open House" signs with arrows that I posted around the neighborhood each Sunday, I had strings of colored flags like you used to see at used car lots and grand openings going from trees to the front porch and a big For Sale sign with info about the house on the front lawn. I baked cookies. Lots of lookers, no offers. I had the house assessed and he said we should UP our price!

In June we hired a full-service Realtor. Over the months we lowered the price regularly. A year and a quarter later, I brought him a nurse I had met who wanted to do a rent-to-own with my house. We agreed to a price that was 84% of our original asking price. The nurse had recently gone through bankruptcy because of a husband with a drug problem and business debt that fell on her. So she needed a two-year rent-to-own. It didn't matter to us, her rent paid our mortgage!

Since we had not sold the old house first, we had no down payment for the new house. Originally, we were going to do 100% financing with an 80% first mortgage and a 20% second mortgage on the new house. Then our mortgage guy came up with the idea of putting a second mortgage on the old house, instead. We would pay it off when we sold the house. It was a good idea, we thought, because it brought the mortgages on that house up to $25,000 less than it was appraised for, a good cushion, we thought in October 2005. When we got into the rent-to-own agreement, however, it was low enough that it meant bringing money to the table for the closing costs.

In 2007 housing prices began to fall. In 2008, we all know that the entire economy fell. In late 2008, my DH was downsized into "early retirement" and it took him 7 months to get another job. No sooner were we comfortably back on track from that, when the nurse in our old house figured out that it was cheaper for her to buy a foreclosed house and lose her down payment on our house! That left us hanging in the winter of 2009 with an empty house in a housing market in which the empty house was now worth about $69,000 - precisely what I had paid for it in 1994 before replacing the furnace and ducts, kitchen, electrical service, water heater, concrete driveway, windows and doors, siding, trim, garage door, fence, porch, and adding central air and lots of insulation. Not to mention refinishing the wood floors throughout.

Meanwhile, Dad had gone suddenly blind at the age of 91, then had prostate cancer, then skin cancer, and was bed-bound with daytime caregivers at our house. His favorite aide had left his employ and returned to her home state the summer of 2009. Her replacement was NOT comparable. Dad missed his Jenny so much, because Jen would go with the flow when it was okay and let him sleep, but force him to wake up and get food and drink in a gentle way that did not bother him, when it was necessary. She read to him and knew what he liked to hear. She read his moods well and could tell if he wanted to listen to a ball game on or wanted to rest. She kept a positive attitude even when cleaning up horrible messes from his hospital-acquired C-Dif. We could all see that he was declining without her.

I heard through the grapevine that Jenny had her car and purse stolen and that neither she nor her husband had managed to get good jobs in the several months that she had been back home. After consulting with DH, I called and gave them an offer they could not refuse: a car to drive their menagerie of mammals and reptiles back to Mich and to use when they got here, shipping for their household goods, low rent in our old house. That way, we got Jenny back for Dad and had renters we knew, liked, and trusted in our house.

Dad passed away several months later. Because he paid for unemployment insurance for his homecare staff, Jenny got to have free training and ended up with five health care certificates during our economic depression. She is working now, but her DH was hurt at work and is fighting for disability benefits and worker's compensation. They are still in our old house, so we have nothing to worry about as far as renters trashing our house, but they can't currently pay much. Okay, they can't pay anything, I'll admit it. It has been about three years that we have carried them. The husband has had multiple back surgeries and our Jenny is working as a nurse's aide and just not making a lot of money. But she studied hard and got her GED and all of those medical certificates, so she is trying. We don't have children of our own. I guess we got the boomerang phenomenon without having the first half where you give birth and raise the little critters, LOL!

We were thinking that we might have to wait until my DH reaches the age of 59.5 and take some $$$ out of our retirement to finally unload this house. We have that second mortgage down to $25,000 from $40,000. The house is now worth about what is left of the first mortgage. It has been hard. Our new house had a expensive foundation disaster two years ago and needed a new roof last Christmas. The roof will be paid off at the end of this year, so we can be more relaxed after that. It does not help that my health has worsened and I am not working. DH is a saint! But now Discover is offering us $25,000 at 7.99%. We have to investigate it more, but if that is still being offered at the end of the year, we could use it to pay off that second mortgage and get the house on the market next spring. Incredible. We weren't sure when that could happen, but did not expect it for several years yet. In a couple, three years we might be able to have that Discover loan gone, too and be FREE!

Buyer remorse. I don't know. Who knew that the market would tank so bad? I do like this larger house. My knees appreciate not having the steps. I agree with DH that it is a darned good thing that we did not get that house with the pool! We have thrown money around the past six years like it meant nothing, and I have come to the conclusion that this is partially true. As long as you can keep your heads above water, money is just a tool. It has allowed us to help our young friends have a place to live through their hard times. We will do it as long as we can. We will give them warning when we decide to do the Discover deal or not, but they will have to be on their own eventually. With luck, they will get Social Security to allow disability benefits by then.

All the long timers here knew this sorry story. If anyone has read this far, I hope there was something to learn in all of this!

    Bookmark   July 16, 2013 at 9:50PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

WOW Nancy, I know I had heard bits and pieces of your story over the years. Seeing it all put together is one story. And YES I read it all the way to the end.

I think we were so lucky to have sold our last house just as the market was tanking and got this one.

I think the only remorse I had years ago was actually buying a larger house. I did like living more in town down in Weiser which is 20 miles from here. I felt it was a good place to retire to. I think we were only about 2 miles to a grocery store. A person can get just about everything they need in Weiser. But Joe did not like being so far from his friends back up here.

The house we traded that larger house for, 1850 SQ FT, was only 1290 SQ FT and not really well arranged. We lived there nicely but I always wanted to make changes to the house that would be impossible to do. The place also had 8+ acres and we no longer had the cows and mules. We had no need for the acreage and it was a burden.

Here we are only 85 SQ FT larger but this house is laid out so much better for us. For some one else. Well I do not know if it would work. We do have a fairly close neighbor with the same house though,

Bottom line is if we had not bought the house I slightly regretted, because I realized it really was too large for us, we would not have had the house I REALLY was not in love with which led us to this house which I totally love.

    Bookmark   July 17, 2013 at 12:30AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

With the Cottage, never! I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my house. All 700ish sq ft of it, even after all the work we've needed to do (we had to rebuild the living room floor-joists and sill and all, rip out the hall floor, had the bedroom back to the studs). Of course, now we have a great lot that backs up to Lake Ontario. I wouldn't trade a big house for this place. In fact, a bigger cottage might come up for sale where we can buy it on an owner hold. It's bigger and has central heat and ac (ours is heated with wood and we use portable ac). If we can get it, we'll make it a rental rather than make ours a rental and move into it.

NOW, our Old House, we had buyers remorse many, many times. It had about 200 sq ft more than this place, but was laid out in a way that made it feel smaller. I hated the traffic, the small lot, the mosquitos, the lack of yard space. I loved the house and hated it at the same time many times. I didn't really want bigger so much as different. I was sad when we rented it out (we did what you're supposed to do, bought the ugliest house in the best neighborhood and paid like it was the ugliest so it's almost paid for now-so we figured we'd let it make some money for us) but I'm always glad to come home now.

    Bookmark   July 29, 2013 at 10:45AM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Okay, how about tea on Monday this week? :)
How is everyone? How was your weekend? I don't know...
Mise en place
I give you a link to an NPR article about the above...
Getting older and keeping up
Just reading Stephs recent post about getting help...
How many square feet is your "small home"
My house is 859sf. It has 3 bedrooms and 1 bath, but...
xpost interior storm windows
I posted this on the windows forum but not getting...
Imhappy&Iknowit IOWA zone 6b
Sponsored Products
Hydrofarm Tomato Trellis Garden on Wheels GCTR - GCTR
$53.50 | Hayneedle
Gray & Green Ikat Dots Payton Throw Pillow - Set of Two
$39.99 | zulily
Allegri Rubens Chrome Five-Light Convertible Pendant
Feiss Khloe Satin Nickel Wall Sconce
$279.00 | LuxeDecor
Forever Flame Flameless Burgundy Distressed Candle - BWT755
$35.00 | Hayneedle
Hubbardton Forge Moreau 40 1/2"W Smoke 7-Light Chandelier
Lamps Plus
DENY Designs Khristian A Howell Rendezvous Shower Curtain - 13030-SHOCUR
$89.00 | Hayneedle
Dainolite Satin Chrome & Red & Orange Three-Light Island Light
$206.00 | LuxeDecor
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™