Father lies for and baby's 16year old stepson
I have been married for a year and a half but have been with my husband for 2 an a half years. 6 months before we were married my husbands ex wife kicked both his boys out and he moved them in with me before he had moved in. When they came to live with us the 17year old was supposed to be a junior in high school but only had 3 total high school credits. The 14 year old was failing he 8th grade. Long story short, we put the older one in an alternative high school and he got caught up but then his mother talked him into moving back for child support. He was then kicked out of school for dealing drugs an we were told nothing until we were mailed forms. The 14 year old then still lives with us but it has been a struggle. His mother is trying to claim my husband did not ever pay child support, and told his children for years the same. After a lot of arguing because my husband did not know how to get cancelled checks, we can prove he paid over and beyond by 20,000 thousand. But everytime one of her attorneys tells her she has to settle she hires a new and we start over again. My problem with my stepson is that my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 rectal cancer and his son has had the odasity to tell friends, family and myself at the age of 15 and a half that my husband is faking his cancer because his mother said so. Then he continuously asks my husband how much money we have in savings, when are we buying a house, a truck etc. My husband tells him everything then he runs to his mom and she comes up with more acussations and gets greedier. My SS gets praised and rewarded marterialistically which is outrageous! Then he turns around and talks crap about his mother so my husband feels like he's the perfect angel and once again he is rewareded for bad morals. Unfortunately my husband lied to me about all of the legal stuff and financial crap before we were married and now I'm stuck. He knows his son is his mothers spy but makes excuses for his bad behavior. If his son gets into trouble, lies or steels, my husband lies, makes excuses or hides it from me. If I'm upset because his son leaves a mess an i am the one who has had to pick up all the slack the last 7 months due to chemo, raidiation, surgery and another 6 months of chemo, he tells me to shut up, knock it off rather than talking to his son. When his son stoled money from my daughter, it was our fault, our imagination never his sons. We parent my daughter as a team but his son is off limits and I can't say a thing to him or I'm the B**ch, so I try talking to him then he blows up at me. 4 days before we found our he had cancer he moved out and told me he let one woman ruin his son and he wasn't going to let me, this all stemming because I found drugs in his son's room and he was supposed to be grounded but my husband let him run all over the place an I called him on it. Then when I told him hope his test goes well, he all of a sudden wanted back. Now it's a vicious cycle. I'm expected to shut up, not say anything while I have all the work. We were in counseling and we agreed that both kids need to step up as older teenagers and help more. My daughter has, but if I ask his son to do anything or ask him to have his son so something an it doesn't get done, then he tells me so what, oh well or get over it while he sits in his chair and drinks while everyone calls sympathizing with him. He is doing very well on treatment an hasn't gotten to sick. He's just tired most of the time. Any advice? I hate being around my stepson, looking at him or having to do anything for him. Part of it is he is old enough to know right from wrong and his disregard for his dad who is not given a good chance to live past 2 years. The other is his dad's disrespect for my position an me completely.