Help with College Aid Information
We need some help figuring all this out. I will try to give the facts as precisely as I can and all the info needed for your opinions.
First, some background. I have written a couple of times here and you can get the "flavor" of things from those posts. I am the SO of a man with 2 children. We have been together 11+ years and our relationship is strong. His kids are currently 17(son) and 16(daughter). I hate to sound ungenerous, but his ex has made his life with his children a nightmare over the years. When someone tells me the ex is unstable, I tend to not jump to conclusions for there are 3 sides to every story. (and I am an ex too) But she's a doozy with diagnosed mental illness(s).
She has done many, many rotten and even illegal things over the years, all with the hope of alienating him from his kids. For one, she forged his name to open credit cards. We found out when we went for a car loan and were declined for too much open credit. My SO chose not to prosecute in the childrens best interest and she did clean it up, only after she was caught and up against supposed prosecution.
I could write a novel and feel comradeship with many of you on this board.
When he divorced, his wife was not working and trying to get disability. He was allotted 80% ( I can't remember the exact amount - it's not a round number, but close to this) of the childrens' support because of this. There were other concessions, but the one in question is that he was allowed to claim head of household and both children as dependents. His ex has tried over the years to get him to stop this, even having his daughter call once and ask for *her* refund money. He asked her if she works and pays taxes? No? Not your refund.
To date we have never heard of his ex having a legal job. They have never been back to court for any revisions and he stills finances the majority of his kids expenses.
I have a gut feeling she has not taken him back to court because there is more going on - she is doing something else illegally. It would fit the pattern.
And let me be clear he has never held back from spending or anything for his kids.
He has not seen his children in visitation in over a year. They refuse to come. He has offered to meet them, take them to dinner, etc., but they will not do anything if their mother is not involved. Yes, these are teenagers, so there are some serious issues here.
He did get a call at 2pm the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. His son was at the DMV and needed a car to take the test. His mom had rented a car for this purpose and he was not allowed to drive it. (no kidding). She has an SUV, but it is registered illegally in another state...and so on.
SO drops everything, leaves work - DMV closes at 4pm. Son passes test. We get the bill in the mail for fees and never another word.
Ok to the question : on Jan 1, SO gets an email from his son asking him to stop claiming both children as dependents. The reason stated is that he is a junior in HS and is exploring financial aid for college and if SO continues to do this, it will hinder his applications. His grades do not reflect college material, but I can't go there now. We have no idea how he will get admitted.
Actually the letter was so well written we both are wondering who exactly wrote it. His son also stated that because SO makes so much $, he will not be able to get a lot of aid. (Agreement calls for each parent to pay half of college)
We do not know anything about college aid requirements and don't have any relatives in this situation. Can any of you point us in the right direction to get started on research? We are in NJ.
SO really has no problem with not claiming them anymore, it's only a couple of years more for his daughter and this is the last for his son, but he is afraid that it will domino into something else or effect other agreements, something we are not aware of.
Also the give an inch, take a yard theory will come into play.
SO is also doing research on this, but I knew there was a wealth of info on the board. I can provide more details if needed.
Thanks so much.