DH and food....grrr

mom2emallJanuary 26, 2010

I think I have posted before about my dh and junk food. I try to feed the kids healthy things. When I pack their lunches they always have fruit or veggies and one "dessert" type item (chips, pudding cup, etc). I give them bottled water or juices for drinks. When they ask for snacks at home I cut up fruit or give them raw veggies with ranch or celery and peanut butter or similar types of items. When I make dinners they are lean meats, veggies, etc.

When DH cooks he makes lots of breaded dishes, loaded mashed potatoes, breads, etc. He adds salt on his food all the time (not when he cooks it but after when it is on his plate). Now the kids want to add salt to everything and I am the bad guy when I tell them they do not need to. When my dh packs lunches he includes multiple desserts, soda, etc. So when I pack their lunches I am the bad guy.

All of our kids are in good shape, none overweight. All are active and involved in sports.

My issue is that I want to set healthy eating patterns. DH says that they are kids and should be able to eat junk. I am getting tired of being the food nazi around here!!! Any ideas? I have talked to him about this many times and it does not sink in. His mom is like this with food too.....its like food is a way for them to show love.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

UGHHHH. That is a tough one! I am fortunate in that my DH has similar eating habits as me; we both try to be healthy with, like you said, lean meats, veggies, lots of grilled/baked foods, fruits, we limit starches, sauces, etc.

We really struggle with SS's eating habits and DH used to be of the mindset that it was better for him to eat SOMETHING rather than nothing. So SS would eat, like, 2 bites of grilled chicken, 1 bite of broccoli, and 2 bites of wild rice---and be done. DH would grumble but then two hours later, SS would whine that he was "starving" and DH would let him get a yogurt or a pudding or some animal crackers, etc. AUUGHHHH. It drove me crazy!

It wasn't until about 6-7 months ago that DH kind of realized just how "messed up" SS's eating habits were and put the kabosh on it. His rule now is SS eats ALL of his dinner----because we do NOT give him very much AT ALL---and if he doesn't finish, that's fine, but he will get nothing else to eat. If he's hungry at 8 pm, he can have his re-heated dinner.

ANYWAY--I know what you're describing is a different issue, but I know you have struggled with your SS's eating and it sounds to me like DH is to blame.

I don't know what to suggest other than YOU do all the shopping/cooking. But it sounds like DH does share in the food preparations.....that makes it hard. What if you suggested he make 1 meal a week that is WHATEVER he wants---fried chicken, lasagna w/garlic bread, chicken nuggets and fries, WHATEVER. But the rest of the time you guys need to compromise on meals? Would he go for that?

    Bookmark   January 26, 2010 at 12:46PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I wanted to add (in regards to the school lunch issue) what does the school say? My DD is not allowed to bring lunch to school, they have a hot lunch but it's an organic, healthy menu complete with a full salad and deli bar, so it's fine. BUT they bring a morning snack and if the kids bring candy, cookies or chips, they are NOT allowed to eat the snack. We were given a list of approved foods for snack that included (but not limited to):
--any kind of fruit or veggies
--goldfish crackers
--cheese sticks

I forget what else...but I know that kids in DD's class have not been allowed to eat their snack b/c it was candy or cookies.

And at SS's school, he brings sometimes and buys sometimes, but they are not allowed to have sodas. HAHA, we found that one out when he came home with a Diet Root Beer in his backpack and we asked him where it was from and he said BM had sent it in his lunch but he wasn't allowed to drink it. Maybe you could alert the school to the soda issue and see if they can put a kabosh on it---unfortunately, probably nothing they can do about the multiple desserts. :(

    Bookmark   January 26, 2010 at 12:54PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

The hand that steers the grocery cart controls the universe!

Bring home only what you want your family to eat, & bring plenty of it.

It seems to me that people often load up on heavy stuff first because that's their habit;
if they eat other stuff first, they don't have room for the salted fatty carb-laden stuff.

    Bookmark   January 26, 2010 at 1:13PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

How many times did I say "stuff"???

sorry 'bout that!

    Bookmark   January 26, 2010 at 1:14PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

The schools only policy is regarding classroom snacks and they have to be healthy. But the school does not monitor their lunches. I try to only buy healthy items but I can not stop my hubby from buying junk when he does the grocery shopping or stops at the store to pick something up and gets junk too. All I can do is nag! LOL

    Bookmark   January 26, 2010 at 1:28PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

time for a new division of labor;
he does *not* do the grocery shopping, & he calls you when something is needed.

Don't degrade yourself into a nag;
it won't solve the problem, & it'll give him a complaint.

    Bookmark   January 26, 2010 at 4:13PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

"But the school does not monitor their lunches."

LOL, SD's school has a no share policy... can't trade stuff.

One day, I am rinsing SD's thermos & there are cookie crumbs in the milk residue. We don't give her cookies. She admitted someone gave her the cookies because she asked them. Her dad told her she was not allowed to do that and she said okay. Next day, cookie crumbs again. He called her on it & told her it better not happen again. She started rinsing her thermos out at school.

Nagging is a waste of time & energy.... spend it on making sure he has no reason to stop at the store. Of course, it doesn't mean he won't. If you have healthy kids without weight problems, your DH's occasional 'junk' won't harm them or undo your consistently 'healthy'. Just don't let yourself be a food nazi. You won't win & you'll just be frustrated.... pick your battles.

    Bookmark   January 26, 2010 at 4:41PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

not to highjack but Love:

"My DD is not allowed to bring lunch to school, they have a hot lunch but it's an organic, healthy menu complete with a full salad and deli bar, so it's fine"

Is this private or public?? that is the first I have heard of a school implementing only organics...I know in other countries this is done, but haven't seen it in the US..I WISH that my kiddos school would do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Bookmark   January 28, 2010 at 1:43PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
7 year old step son troubles please help
Hello everyone, I need some advise please. I have been...
Can't Accept My Stepson
I don't know what it is but I just can't stand having...
how much child support do you pay?
Hi everyone. I have been a non-custodial stepmom for...
How to Prevent Adult Children Living with You
If you and your spouse are of retirement age, move...
Choosing Cats over Friends
Sorry, I'm posting this here because I don't know where...
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™