Step-Mother Wedding Etiquette

southernsummerJanuary 26, 2014

I survived my SS's wedding two years ago with the usual stubs and such.

This spring is my SD's wedding, which my husband and I provided a large check to fund. I am bracing myself for similar or worse.

Does anyone have any advice?

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colleenoz

Be gracious.

    Bookmark   January 26, 2014 at 1:59PM
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sylviatexas1

Erma Bombeck was talking about being the mother of the groom when she gave this advice, but I think it's good default advice for any social event in which someone else is the star:

"Wear beige & keep your mouth shut."

One thing I definitely would *not* do is to clalim that I had anything to do with that check;
my position would be that her father gifted her with that check.

Have fun!

    Bookmark   January 27, 2014 at 6:50PM
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dotz_gw

Hi Southern, What happened at wedding number 1? Do the SKs get along with you? Ex problems? I ve heard the beige, shut up thing before, I always wonder, what have we (SMs) done to be brushed aside and be less of a guest than anyone else? Maybe we should wear an unflattering dress that adds 15 pounds and ten years and spend most of our time hiding in the restroom...Not that I would ever show up playing the part of Sofia Vergara in a red dress,but what have we done wrong to be relegated to a non person status at a SK wedding...

    Bookmark   January 29, 2014 at 11:07AM
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southernsummer

Hahaha! Well, thanks for the advice back in January.
I did wear beige, and I WAS invisible.

    Bookmark   June 12, 2014 at 12:45PM
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dotz_gw

You know, I had the feeling I was the talk of the town!!!! I m sure all the guests had heard horrible things from SK and Ex...Everyone wanted a peek at the devil woman!!! Instead they got understated, couture dressed, head up silent SM....LOL......The only thing I took away feeling good about was my behavior....:) A man in the lobby( Bless him, whoever he was) said to me, I think your dress is my favorite dress here, to which I replied , I think you re my favorite guy here, all within earshot from Ex..I could feel the heat coming off her from 10 feet away LOL

    Bookmark   June 12, 2014 at 1:18PM
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southernsummer

Dotz, you are awesome.

    Bookmark   June 13, 2014 at 8:43AM
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mxyplx

UNNNNNNNNbeleveable!

I was thru 6 stepchildrens weddings for my wife's 3 childrens, one got married 2 times, nuther 3 times, with only one problem. My Wife's Ex-Husband's Wife got pissed at me because I wouldn't start drinking Margaritas at 3 in the afternoon. That was # 2 son's 3rd wedding - on the beach, tide came in and we all get soaking wet. Wife's sister fell down. Preacher never missed a beat.

# 1 son's first wedding, and my wife got along super with her ex MIL for the first time in 20 years. I danced with her - hard rock. SD's boyfriend's rock band. SD and new hubby spent about 2 days in a tent in our back yard while I fixt their car - had to wait for Monday to get a special part from the dealer. Her dad parked his motor home at our back door to load the presents into......no sweat.

# 2 son's 2nd wedding I held SD's 4 YO daughter in a death grip to keep peace in the church - she wanted to discuss the pictures on the wall.....grateful thanx from SD.

Wife's Ex insisted I taste some of his $100+/bottle wine. He ran the BBQ at several family gatherings. Well that scratches the surface........Good Memories all around.

I Dunno. Sometimes I wished I was a woman. Probly kill myself after 20 minutes but at least I'd know what it was like.

    Bookmark   June 19, 2014 at 11:53PM
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sylviatexas1

I'm so sorry.

I didn't realize when you posted this how toxic the situation was.

    Bookmark   June 20, 2014 at 12:30AM
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dotz_gw

MX, Your Exs Ex wife was mad you didn't drink a Margarita at 3 PM??? Margarita drinking at 8 AM should be standard procedure at ALL step weddings...:)

    Bookmark   June 20, 2014 at 10:18AM
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southernsummer

In retrospect, I was the only one concerned about etiquette.
The gloves are off. My step daughter and her mother have set a standard, and its no more Mr. Nice Guy.

    Bookmark   July 20, 2014 at 5:21PM
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dotz_gw

Good for you Summer. Stand your ground..

    Bookmark   July 21, 2014 at 2:08PM
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