For Lavender Lass
This may be the wrong place to post this, but it'll have to do....
I have recently started to read the boards again, and I came upon the posting asking where have you been.
I want you to understand that there is always hope and that sometimes people will show a most remarkable propensity for recovery.
This is not some feel good everything will be all right word of encouragement. This is from personal experience, mine.
I woke up in a hospital one day to find that I was no longer predominantly left handed, could not walk, couldn't feed myself, couldn't even stand w/o assistance from someone one on my left and right. I couldn't read and couldn't write, I couldn't speak clearly nor find the words to say what I thought. And that 90% of my previous 49 years on planet Earth had disappeared into the ether. And, we were told that that was pretty much the way things would be from now until I reached my end. I would never "Walk without assistance again" nor learn to read or write or do or be much of anything ever again.
Much to every neurologist in America's dismay, I'm pretty much OK now, (and willing to wager that I am healthier and physically and intellectually fitter than most anyone anywhere in America) unless you knew what to look for or spent a few hours with me you would never know anything is "wrong" with me. Hey listen, getting "here" takes time and continuous, as in every day forever, never ending effort.
For me it means learning to live with high levels of chronic pain, confusion, and the occasional physical issue.
No meds, no uppers, no downers, no anti-anythings, just morphine, and morphine only when I have had all the pain I can handle and need a break from it. It means long walks every day. It means a clean diet, no artificial nor chemical anything.
Neurogenesis is quite the real phenomenon, but it ain't gonna happen listening to and following the advice of conventional well meaning and intended but far off course, modern American totally enamored by the pharmaceutical industry "conventional" neurologists. Treating symptoms has damn near nothing to do with treating cause nor encouraging not the cessation of symptoms, but real actual and factual HEALING! I say this having seen some of the very best of American neurologists and neuroresearchers many times these past ten years. Almost all of them are extremely insistent that I must take this that or the other to have any hope of maintaining my current level of ability let alone any hope of showing any ongoing improvement.
Real effort and some real food, followed by some more real effort and some more real food. Repeat daily.
Your being there for and with your husband is a gift of such proportion to him that you will never be able to understand it. I know it's unbelievably tough sometimes, and I am well aware that there are days that you are fraught with doubt and worry and uncertainty. That's OK, you should be. Anybody facing what you and you husband face should be filled with all sorts of fear and trepidation, to not would be less than human. And to say otherwise would be a deception and a lie.
Don't baby him, make him work, push him hard, encourage him, just don't forget to give him a break every now and then.
Contrary to what well meaning people might implore you to believe, crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good. Read and study and learn about diet and neurology.
And contrary to what anyone anywhere might ever tell you, you are on tough human being and a real live heroine for standing with and by your husband.
If you ever want to talk or are looking for neuro-centric links and/or learning places, write me at my secondary email acct arthurhlevine(at)yahoo(dot)com and I will respond the day I see it.
May you both learn and grow into better people from every misfortune that you stumble across.
And, just for you just being you, and being there for and with you husband, and for not giving up on him or his life, and for 18 million other reasons, I thank you.
Your Karma is obviously great and growing.... May it always be so....