Does Love Make us all Stupid?

scarlett2001December 19, 2005

I work with teenagers and the school principal was ranting the other day about how girls in love just throw away their lives in unwed pregnancy, etc. So, I asked him if he had ever made a bad decision while under the influence of the "Grand Illusion" and he reeled off a horrific tale of mistakes he had made as an adult while in love. I mean, he lost his house and had to refugee out of state to get away from the woman, etc.

Would any of you care to share your stories, and does love make fools of us all or only some of us?

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Most of us I guess at one point or another. I have no tales of financial ruin to tell but I have had my share of illusions for sure.

    Bookmark   December 20, 2005 at 2:54PM
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I've had the thought that men are like drugs:
we'll believe the unbelieveable, trust the untrustworthy, & hand our money to the man of the moment, if the guy will just *be there*.

Maybe Nature needs us to be stupid:
Bonding to a stronger male affords some protection for the young, giving them a better chance at reaching adulthood.

and the beat goes on.

    Bookmark   December 20, 2005 at 3:28PM
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We want. We need. We dream. And, often it seems to me, when we aren't fulfilled we manufacture a fantasy to live in so we can pretend we are. We do it with religion, too. We want security, dependability, comfort, pleasure. We want answers. We insist. We require. We demand. Mere desire is a very powerful influence upon immature intellects and emotions.

When I'm King, children will have to earn their genetalia. Installation not permitted until age 21 minimum upon proof of economic viability.

    Bookmark   December 20, 2005 at 6:37PM
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I think the love bug is like the flu it goes around and when it hits it can knock you for a loop. We all have been there and done that and some of us are still being stupid.

    Bookmark   February 4, 2006 at 3:16AM
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Seems "intelligent design" is not ANY part of the love equation.

(I don't subscribe to it anyway)

I second Asolo's "proof of economic viability" standard. I am so tired of hearing about peoples' right to bear children without thought as to their responsibility of support. Monetary and intellectual. Society does not owe them anything simply because people procreate.

    Bookmark   February 4, 2006 at 8:17PM
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Yeah, but just look at the boatload of free gov't support they get simply because they were sexually irresponsible! Meanwhile I sit here not totally certain how I'm going to pay next month's mortgage because I'm a single, self-supporting female who doesn't quite fit any of those nice freebie-entitled categories.

Can you tell I have strong feelings on this subject? Oops, perhaps I should move myself along to the Hot Topics forum.


    Bookmark   February 4, 2006 at 9:43PM
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I think it does. Even people who don't make stupid choices, and who are really smart and sensible, still sort of ACT stupid when they're in love, don't you think? The most mature people you know still babble on and on about the little things about the loved one, or every detail of any slight or incident that hurt their feelings, until everyone else is ready to scream -- but we don't -- we all indulge each other, because we know what it's like. It's like being the parent of a teenager.

    Bookmark   February 5, 2006 at 3:55PM
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All very nice, intellectual answers. But I want actual down and dirty STORIES! Are you willing to let your hair down and share? Shall I go first? Gulp...

Okay, I was not a teenager and I should have known better... first and only time I experienced obsessive love...I was SO smitten by this guy- who of course had a string of ladies and was a real player - that I began driving by his house in the evening. (Yes, technically I was a stalker.) One night I actually went through his trash can- this is SO TERRIBLY embarassing- and got caught by the police. I got a misdemeanor ticket and had to appear in court.

Whew! True confession is hard to do. Yet I know many, many, normal people who seem to lose their minds temporarily when in love. How about you?

    Bookmark   February 10, 2006 at 6:12PM
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What makes us stupid is lust, often confused with love.

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Here's hoping you give and receive that kind of love!

Thanks for posing the question. So close to Valentine's Day, it's good to be reminded of what is and isn't love.

    Bookmark   February 11, 2006 at 9:51AM
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Well put, Eclair.

I've had a moment or two of lunacy in my past. Learning to let go with grace is a valuable skill to acquire.

Many years ago I did some silly things: sent anonymous gifts, even a drunk-and-dial, drove by. Age does bring dignity and prespective, this too shall pass.

    Bookmark   February 11, 2006 at 10:13AM
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I was so shy in high school, I'd have died rather than talk to any male person!

In fact, I was *so* shy that I thought I was gonna die when my best friend told me what she did:

She had a crazy-groupie-madly-in-love-crush on a blue-eyed blond football player.

Since he didn't know she existed....
she wrote him a letter!
told him how she loved him.
included her phone number.
never heard a word back from him.

One day he happened to glance her way (our way really, we were joined at the hip), looked at her curiously...& went on with his life.
. .
. .

and I once worked with a very beautiful young woman whose boyfriend didn't hear her when she said, "It's over, Baby."

This was a long time ago, before we used "stalking" to describe this kind of behavior, but that's what he did:

followed her to work every morning,
drove around the building at lunch time in case she went out,
came into the office a time or two & badgered the receptionist, until the big bosses told him they'd put him in the loony bin next time he set foot in the building.

He followed her home,
he went to her daughter's school & watched *her*,
he sent red roses about twice a week.

I can't remember the details of how it all stopped, but it *seems* like they had been in couples counselling, & the young woman passed the word to the counsellor, who somehow got him to stop.

Love must make us crazy.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2006 at 5:41PM
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It doesn't make us 'stupid' per se ... but it does tend to make us silly and blind and open and sometimes-weak ... which can appear to be 'stupid' or make us do 'stupid' things. And it's happened to me more than once ... and will happen again, 'cause I will not stop loving or give up on being in love ...

    Bookmark   March 20, 2006 at 6:56PM
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