Have you created personal goals?

puddlejumperDecember 5, 2003

Since I was getting divorced and my life was changing, it seemed a good time to update my goals and focus my thinking and energy.

I took the approach of asking myself what I wanted more of in my life.


1. I want to love more. My goal is to love more and need less. That does not mean that I will give love indiscriminately - I will only open up to SAFE PEOPLE.

2. I want to feel God. My goal is to open my heart and trust God. I will sit quietly and listen.

3. I want a long and healthy life. My goal is to continue my weight loss until I reach goal. I will continue my workout program and meet my fitness goals.

4. I want a satisfying career. My goal is to return to school for additional education.

5. I want to be independent. My goal is to continue my new mindset. Every now and then I will read a book on a related subject and consider its ideas.

6. I want more pleasure, joy, and contentment. My goal is to explore activities and practices that lead to my happiness. I will add new activities, pursue much loved hobbies, and serve others through voluntering.

7. I want a nice new wardrobe. Since I've shrunk out of all my old clothes, my goal is to set aside $100 per pay period for new clothes.

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Nobody wants to post any goals? Did I get too personal here?
If so, SORRY!

    Bookmark   December 5, 2003 at 7:06PM
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Carrie B

Hi puddlejumper. I'm impressed with your goals! I, on the other hand, am embarassed to admit publicly that I have dreams and hopes, but I'm not to good at planning them out.

    Bookmark   December 6, 2003 at 12:03AM
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Oh, Carrie - I am SO sorry to hear that you are embarassed to tell others of your goals/dreams! Please - sing them loud and clear! You have made the first all-important step in achieving those goals - thinking of them. The second step is to tell everyone you trust what those goals/dreams are. By doing this, you will be held accountable for making them a reality. It does no good to have a plan in your mind if you don't take it thru the necessary steps to fruition. If you tell others, they will encourage you and possibly guide you in making those dreams/goals come true.

Please let your friends here on the Singles forum help you realize your dreams and goals. If nothing more, we will support you - no goal/dream is without merit - not one is 'silly' or 'insane' - Carrie, will you share your goals and dreams with us?

I, for one, would love to hear what other people's dreams and goals are - who will be NEXT?

    Bookmark   December 7, 2003 at 7:27PM
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Kay, You are so right about this. Telling somebody else my goals made them feel more real to me. I don't know why I think this forum is safe, but it just feels safe. Almost like a support group comprised of healthy, motivated people.

Carrie, If sharing your personal goals feels wrong to you, then for you it would be wrong. But, if you change your mind, we'll be here to listen.

Here's where I'm at today: Last night I dared to research law schools in my area. Emory would be a dream come true, but it's way too expensive. I'd have to mortgage my soul to go there and I'd have to practice the wrong kind of law to pay back the loans. UGA has more reasonable tuition and it's a darn good school. A friend sent a list of scholarships that are directed towards single, 40-something women. I've got the name of a disgruntled attorney in family practice. I'll take him to lunch and learn the downside of practicing law. Then I'll decide between law and finance

I'm thinking of studying Karate. It would bring much needed discipline to my life and the physical activity would compliment walking and strength training. Also, at 5 foot 3 inches, it wouldn't hurt to be able to defend myself.

I'm finding it easy to be more loving! Since the separation, I've gotten closer to my good friends and have made many new friends. When I was married, my husband was the center of my universe, and that was so limiting. That's a mistake I'll not make again.


    Bookmark   December 8, 2003 at 12:19PM
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Puddlejumper, first of all - DO take karate - wonderful in many respects, BUT - don't take it for the reason of 'defending yourself'. At 5'3 you wouldn't stand much of a chance with someone who is cowardly enough to attack you. It may give you some advantages but in martial arts the FIRST thing you are taught to do is GET AWAY from a bad situation. Another lesson taught early on is: DON'T advertise that you are trained in martial arts - the element of confidence is what you want to exude, not that you are 'tough'. MOST importantly is to learn enough technique so if you ever choose to use your skills, either in your own mind OR by verbalizing them, that you can BACK up that thought with action. Let us know if you indeed take karate and how you are doing with it.

    Bookmark   December 8, 2003 at 1:51PM
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let me second that, as someone who has had (and taught) martial arts and self defense training. Choose your instructor wisely. someone who wants to show you fancy finger locks and throws is NOT teaching self defense.
Self defense is about being alert to signals, about not being afraid to run or yell, and about making the mental decision to really hurt someone.
Proper self defense first teaches you to avoid the situation, and then how to make an escape if you can't. taking an eye out or crushing a knee is appropriate defensive response to someone who has made the decision to hurt you. if you are commited, you can repel someone much larger than you. I'm 5'1", so i know for sure :)

    Bookmark   December 8, 2003 at 8:43PM
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I'm just now replying ,as I was away for a fantastic weekend....that was my goal of the moment....As far as making a list of goals, I don't do that myself....IMO,when you have too many and only accomplish 2 our of 8, it tends to make it seem like one has failed...I set a goal for the near future and focus entirely towards it... once it's accomplished, all it takes is a little bit of quiet time to come up with the next one. Right now my main focus is to get my 17 year old daughter off to college or real life, whichever she chooses and then I'll start to ponder the next step.
A shallow attitude to some maybe, but I've seen too many people miss out on the little things in life, scrimping and saving and missing out special times so that they can retire, only to die of a heart attack 2 years before retirement....I'll take my way, every time.

    Bookmark   December 9, 2003 at 12:00AM
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My 'goals' are really dreams - as Tinmantu stated, one can become depressed and discouraged with a long list labeled 'goals'. I would say that most of my dreams are not of the conventional definition - rather they are 'ideals' which I would like to attain. I have a few material dreams:

own a home and acreage again
write a book on tropical plants
open a community housing project for divorced/displaced people
be the proprietor of my own greenhouse business
move to a tropical climate in 5 years

Here is a list of my current 'unconventional' dreams:

celebrate life every day
lessen my desire for material things
improve my social compency
have a happy and healthy attitude every day
learn who I am and what makes me happy
make wise decisions
work towards a more peaceful life
exercise my body and brain every day
achieve balance in my life
work as long as physically possible
expand my knowlege base every day

My ultimate dream:

to be happy with my life - to know I tried my best,to be remembered as a caring person who never gave up nor stopped dreaming BECAUSE: some dreams DO come true!

    Bookmark   December 9, 2003 at 3:42PM
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Hello everyone. I have been lurking and enjoying your conversations.

I think the original idea of this thread was about establishing personal goals when the old "couple" goals have collapsed. That is healthy and I commend you. I have been single most of my life, so couple goals are long forgotten (if we ever had any. ~laughing~ I think the lack of goals was the reason the relationship collapsed.)

Like CarrieB, I like to keep my dreams to myself. I am afraid that telling them is a jinx to their success. I guess being happy in the moment is the one I work at the hardest.

Making yourself strong and self confident is a good idea for anyone, and I applaud your efforts!


    Bookmark   December 10, 2003 at 11:26AM
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How nice to meet you, JC - WELCOME! I hope you will continue to visit and add responses or start new threads - we are all in a 'growing' process, so appreciate different view points.

    Bookmark   December 10, 2003 at 1:44PM
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Welcome to the board, JC....stop lurking and feel free to jump right in....the more the merrier!!

    Bookmark   December 11, 2003 at 10:09PM
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