Alone for the holidays?
With the holidays quickly approaching, will you find yourself singing these words: "Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me, Deep Dark Depression, Excessive Misery, If I had no Bad Luck, I'd Have No Luck at All........"?
After the demise of a long-term relationship, the holidays can be devastating, but they don't have to be. I, for one, prefer not to join in the commercialism and family gripe sessions, but I know there are those of you who enjoy these get-togethers. Good for you!
If you are recently single, remember that is is ok to mourn. I would like to offer some thoughts for how to manage your feelings:
1) She/He is REALLY gone - find your NEW best friend (that would be YOU). Spend the money (that you would have used to buy your SO a gift), put up your tree (new location), decorate it, wrap your gift, and put it under the tree.
2) Find out who you really are. You are SPECIAL. Take inventory of yourself. Write down 50 unique qualities/traits you have. I know that's a lot, so ask your friends to help you with the list.
3) Think about the REAL meaning of this holiday. Holidays were meant to be a Season of Giving - not of gifts but of ourselves. Give to someone less fortunate than yourself, whereby getting back an abundance of peace and joy. Give someone hope and help brighten someone else's life. If you have children, take them with you on your journey to help someone else - let them also experience the true gift of giving.
4) Don't be suckered into depression by the media, who display images of the warm, loving familys. That's how they generate dollars - by making someone feel guilty enough about something/someone to BUY something. THINGS don't cultivate happiness - happiness comes when you are comfortable with YOU.
5) Learn to cope - stitch together the connections that you have. Traditions are highly ingrained in us, and not having the closeness with that special someone is difficult. You will get through and though it may not be the BEST holiday of your life, getting into the right frame of mind is essential.
5) DO NOT feel obligated to attend holiday functions. Now that you are single, it is perfectly acceptable to be alone whenever you choose. Tell your family you are spending the holiday in a nudist colony!!! LOL
6) Most important thing to remember: WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU! Sit in the pity puddle or CELEBRATE your new independence!
God bless each of us this holiday season. I would like to hear what suggestions others might have, so WHO WILL BE NEXT?