If you are an 'Older Woman' - so what?

kayjonesNovember 7, 2003

If you are a member of the 'seasoned' generation, as I am, you might find this interesting:

Andy Rooney on ÂOlder WomenÂ:

Andy Rooney says, "As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a damn what you might think about her.

An older single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "commitment". The last thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover.

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness and are generous with praise, often undeserved. An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends.

A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn't care less. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know.

An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to.)

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed babe of 70 there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize for all of us. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to appreciate the exquisite woman you've become, without the distraction of some demanding old man clinging and whining his way into your serenity.

(Andy Rooney is a social commentator on CBSÂs 60 Minutes)

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GardenGhost

Don't ya just love that Andy!

Casper

    Bookmark   November 7, 2003 at 8:27AM
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Carrie B

That's wonderful!

At 38, I feel myself slowly moving toward the assurance and fabulosity :) I expect to reach once I'm 50!

CarrieB

    Bookmark   November 7, 2003 at 9:38AM
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kayjones

I posted this so that women over 40 would be assured that we are still desirable. As we watch our SO leave us for the younger lady our Self-esteem plummets.That shouldn't happen but we allow it to. We sadly watch as our years of invested love walk out the door, just as our relationship was supposed to get 'good'. As older women we have much more to offer than the younger woman - experience - so when the big dummy goes to 'greener' grass, let him digest this:

There IS someone out there who will appreciate me for who I am - I won't lower my standards for you nor anyone else - it's your problem that you can't control your hormonal urges - you are a jerk - you are not exciting - we older women are wise enough to no longer be attracted by 'bad boys'- your loss, sucker!
When you find that the 'grass' wasn't really greener, we are able to say 'NO', you can no longer crush my Self-esteem - hell no you can't come back!

Everyone needs and deserves respect, and as a woman, I want a man who can say "I love you" and knows how to show it. I appreciate a man who can call every day without being pushy. I deserve a guy who listens to what I have to say instead of grunting and ignoring me. As an older woman, I have grown to become a SMART WOMAN!

    Bookmark   November 7, 2003 at 10:04AM
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Daisyduckworth

Older women also become a bit more skeptical!

So how do we persuade the older men that all these wonderful things about us are true - especially the ones who are still in their first childhood, or entering their second, and they don't even know it?

How do we persuade the ones in their 20s and 30s that we want someone on our own level, not a wannabe toyboy who is the same age as our children? Are these the only men who appreciate us for what we're worth??

    Bookmark   November 7, 2003 at 2:12PM
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kayjones

Why not look for an intellectual guy? Finding an intellectual partner, for ME, is almost as exciting as the sex, in some cases more so. Being able to talk to a really smart man who says, 'I would value your opinion on this' makes him cream of the crop for me. Maturity doesn't happen at a certain age - sometimes it never happens. My experience with younger men has been that they are better than Retin A! I think one should look for someone who has similar life views and goals and respects himself and others. If people would look for the characteristics, in choosing a partner,that REALLY matter, relationships would last longer. I don't think 'convince' fits into the equation.

    Bookmark   November 7, 2003 at 3:46PM
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Tinmantu

I don't know, Daisy....I think there are lots of possibilities out there besides 20 and 30 year olds...there are lots of 40 plus yr old men around that actually prefer someone older, because of the maturity that comes from an older woman...I think Andy pretty much hit it on the nose...To see him do his little rants on 60 Minutes is the only reason I tune in to it,anymore...I'll continue with my admiration of the older woman and hopefully not offend too many of them...I think that missing out on having wonderful people in our lives, because of a hangup on age difference, would be the biggest travesty of all....life is way too short, the way it is...we get one shot and it's a drop in the bucket in the meaning of history...how we choose to spend that time, makes it all worth while. ok, rant mode off...the soapbox caved in...LOL

    Bookmark   November 7, 2003 at 9:10PM
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chargreen

Happy Birthday kayjones! I had to find a post you started that would go with the birthday theme ;0) Hope you have a great day!

    Bookmark   April 8, 2004 at 2:55PM
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Tinmantu

Happy Birthday, Kay!

    Bookmark   April 8, 2004 at 4:05PM
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jessiecarole

Happy Birthday Kay

are you still single? you are missed!

jc

    Bookmark   April 8, 2004 at 5:57PM
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kayjones

Thanks, all of you! Yes, I'm still single, very busy and VERY tired, but happy - work, plants, school and grandbabies keep this old gal drained, but fulfilled - thanks for asking. I still read your posts once in a while, but by the time I get every thing done that has to be done, and go to bed by 8:30 or 9 p.m., I don't have much time to play. I am headed to bed very soon so I can go get my babies first thing tomorrow morning - can't wait!

    Bookmark   April 9, 2004 at 10:17PM
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ivamae

How about the older, older woman. I am 73. We all want and need some kind of companionship. I am a widow. I don't like single life one little bit! That's probably because I haven't met anyone to class as a friend/companion

    Bookmark   April 13, 2004 at 9:03PM
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kayjones

Ivamae, you are to be considered the cream of the crop - you possess grace, class, dignity, experience, wisdom, appreciation for life, honesty - you have your own beauty. I await the day I am old enough to possess these qualities!
You have most likely known true love, something I am still waiting for. I am sure some astute man will see these qualities in you and bless the day he found this wise lady, but until then, be content in knowing that you are your own best friend and companion.

    Bookmark   April 13, 2004 at 10:40PM
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ivamae

Thanks for the kind words kayjones

    Bookmark   April 16, 2004 at 7:37PM
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winter_unfazed

That Rooney thing is a hoax. Andy Rooney never said those things. The paragraph has been traced to a hoax writer by the name of Frank Q.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2006 at 12:41PM
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asolo

Women don't even reach the beginning of "prime" until 40 at the earliest. Pity none of them seem to know it. Or, actually, wonderful that they don't know it and I get to tell them!

    Bookmark   July 5, 2006 at 8:29PM
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centralcacyclist

More on the topic from Snopes.com. Read down for Ben Franklin's cheery commentary on becoming an older woman. Geesh.

Here is a link that might be useful: Snopes.

    Bookmark   July 14, 2006 at 1:05PM
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educator

Define older. It seems like older is more a state of mind than an actual age. And since children are staying with their parents until late 20s, when does older really mean older?

    Bookmark   August 29, 2006 at 3:05PM
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gurley157fs

My two cents from a 46 year old.

Almost everyone I work with is at least 10 to 15 years younger than I am. I watch them going through all the stuff I am glad to be rid of. Here is what older means to me.

No more kids
No more bills
Good Job - finally
All of my time is my own
Clean house - because no one messes it up
I'm over the need to wear uncomfortable clothes and painful shoes

Even though the gray hair is taking over and the skin and waist are not what they used to be - I wouldn't trade it for all the world.

    Bookmark   August 29, 2006 at 8:11PM
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walksalone

I have no insecurity about being over 40. Do you?

    Bookmark   June 6, 2008 at 8:14PM
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gneegirl

Don't have insecurity per se, but definitely feel like I'm headed away from 20 - not as comfortable as I'd like to be with that. It's not because of age; I KNOW I don't want to be 20 again - EVER. But, somehow I keep thinging that the end is near, even if it's 30 years from now. I miss enjoying the things that I did, or could do when I was younger. It's not to say that I sit in a rocking chair all day because I don't - work all day, then sit in the rocker - LOL. But when I'm around younger folks, I really feel different and can't get used to that. When I'm around people my age, they do things that feel like old folks things - that I don't like. Maybe I have a few more years to go before I mellow out some more. But then I'll be OLD!!

As far as a relationship, it's harder when you are older. I'm pretty independent because my dad left when I was 12 and my Momd didn't remarry until after I did. So, even if it was difficult, my sister, my Mom and I got it done.. Some guys tell me that they don't know how to take me because of that. So I'm up against that curve too. But, I was also taught that women don't go places alone and all that old fashioned garbage. So I guess I'm not used to getting out so I can meet someone. I'm used to someting so much different - hard to meet someone when you are independent and have old-fashioned values. Plus, the older guys just don't seem to want much - they are just happy with good company. I guess that's the romance that you get when you are older, but it would be nice to have someone wink an eye at you every once in a while too.

Oh well - I'll get use to this age at some point.

    Bookmark   June 7, 2008 at 2:05AM
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JeanInWa

I found turning 49 was much much harder than turning 50. At 49 I was at the verge of 50 and had many expectations of what 50 would be like, and if I was going to get things done then I only had a year before I was old.
Then I turned 50.
Things were sooooooooooo much better! I realized I was still the same person I'd been the day before and it took that weight of doom off my shoulders. Now, I'm 51, and guess what? Life is still wonderful. I can still do all the things I want to or need to. I was able to meditate on the things I'd been afraid of, and instead of being afraid, I used those things to my advantage. Things like being worried about what people think. HA! We all only have so much time here. Use it being YOU!

    Bookmark   June 7, 2008 at 11:07AM
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gneegirl

You're right about the turning 50 thing - it was WONDERFUL, for the same reasons you mentioned. I'm 54 now and am looking at 60 rather than 50. But my mind is looking at 35-40. As a women, it feels great being over 50 - if you are looking at the independent and not worrying bit. But I still don't see myself hanging around 60 plus folks. I think I'm just in another limbo age again - like at 47-49. Don't get me wrong, some of the best times I've had have been with 70 -80 year olds; now they know how to have real fun and enjoy life. Not sure how to put it, but I really feel like I'm in the in-between - not young anymore but also not really that old. I'm not depressed about it, but it would be nice to be one or the other. Most of my friends are either much younger or much older so it's hard to meet people (a guy, maybe) that identifies with things in my age group. Again, I'm cool with everything and really pretty happy with my life. I'd sometimes like to have a little more companionship not requiring 6" heels or the rocker.

    Bookmark   June 7, 2008 at 5:39PM
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sayhellonow

"Women don't even reach the beginning of "prime" until 40 at the earliest. Pity none of them seem to know it. Or, actually, wonderful that they don't know it and I get to tell them!"

Dear asolo: I think I love you (grin).

    Bookmark   June 10, 2008 at 1:38PM
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kayjones

Ya, ain't he sweet!

    Bookmark   June 10, 2008 at 4:57PM
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