Have you found that you no longer desire the same traits in the opposite sex? If this is the case, why not?
What kind of traits KayJones? Physical? Intellectual? Other?
I'll hold off on my response!
while married to my first husband I wanted the strong, silent type man. while married to my second husband I didn't want another husband of any kind. Lordy, lordy, I have been married 45 years, enough already. LOL
Yes, sort of. After being married to a man who thought the idea of being married to an artist was cute, he never took that part of me seriously. Now it is important to me that if I become involved in another long term relationship that my partner be appreciative of my creative side. If they are also a creative person (visual, musician, writer, acting, doesn't matter) that's a BIG plus. Creatives have a bond.
Otherwise, my "tastes" are much the same. I am attracted to intelligent, thoughtful men.
Barbara, I was talking about any/all the traits you used to demand in your mate.
I, for one, only wanted to date a man who was intelligent, had tatoos and a Harley, a great job and who had an 'attitude'.
NOW that I am much older, I don't need the tatoos and the motorcycle, and I no longer want a man who is prettier than I am! I can accept 'flaws' (physically) that I never would have accepted when I was in 'buff' shape myself.
It's just that now that I am older, I am no longer in excellent shape, and find I am more relaxed about others.
How about you?
Gee, Kay, did you find many of those? Attitude is easy to come by usually accompanied by a roving eye and tendency to lose my phone number for long stretches of time! The only man I dated with tattoos and a motorcycle (an Indian Chief) was in love with a woman 22 years younger than him while we dated. I moved on. Oh yeah, he had attitude to spare.
Yes, my tastes have changed in other ways, too, that I didn't think about until now. I dated several attorneys and married one of them. I guess I had a thing for men in suits. Now I know the clothes don't make the man. And I shy away from men with really conservative politics or religious views. It just won't work!
Barbara, your comments are 'right on' - I want a guy who is stuck on ME, not on himself and all the other women within a hundred miles!
Did I find any of those - ya, two got my attention - one lasted 12 years and the other 18. That's why I realized I many not know what's best for me - I keep picking the wrong ones! Need I say more?!
my tastes have changed over the years...When I first married it was for attractivness only...lasted 18 years amd I could go into a major slam mode here but I won't...it just didn't work....suffice to say now I am at a stage in life where I look at a woman for what's inside of her. The outside is of no matter. I live a lot happier life that way.
Michael, you are a wise man!
Such 'pat" & loveable answers. Please. Give me a break. I remember a thread about someone dating an overweight person. Would you please go look at your answers. So, now are you so desparate? Anyone will do? It's just their mind? All given, its just a facade, platitudes, not real.
Which thread are you referring to walks?....as was asked, "have your tastes changed?"...Mine have...I occasionally see a woman who is a couple of inches taller than I and outweighs me by a more than proportional amount. (But I am a skinny guy, heh)...it's all about who makes you smile. If thats desparation, then sobeit.
Again,its all platitudes. Alll the right words..
I am referring to CarrieB. Look it up. She asked advice about dating an overweight person.
So now its different. Why. I am just asking, just get real.
I just see in this question, that I have to settle. I still have expactions, dreams, and a life I want. It is not different. I do not have to settle.
I guess I missed the part of anyone asking someone if they "settled" on this thread...I do recall the thread about settling, I'll have to reread that ...Carrie is another one that it would be nice to hear from and see how she is doing. I don't look at it like by changing the standards that I had as a 18 year old as settling. Who knows, maybe I was full of crap as a teenager. I may still be, but if someone makes me happy, I don't rightly care what anyone else thinks.
I am just challenging. There is a lot of crap here. Yeah, I would have someone... bigger, smaller, great mind....
If that was so true......
Not really, and therein lies the problem. I was always attracted to bad boys.
JYG, I am guilty of that problem, too - it seems I find bad boys 'exciting'. I just met a nice man whom I found to be meek and mousy - nice looking, but much too tame for me. I invited him to go hiking - we walked six miles and he was done for - had to call my son to come and 'rescue' us.
I want a man who will hook up my computer for me, but also a man who will swing through the trees with me.
I am an Aries - love excitement (not drama), and like to take risks (not dangerous ones) - I am just a certifiable NUT and I want to keep company with someone just as nutty as I am!
Hey K-J, you are the 2nd Aries that I've met - that I know. The other person is an old friend from the "hood". We are still friends and he has always told be that to experience an Aries is to experience life. He basically told me to "hold-on and be ready for some fun and excitement. He's just as you described yourself - nutty, but not too much over the edge. I guess I'm that way a little myself - a true Capricorn!!
I posted before on this thread, but had to chime in again. I was someehat involved with someone that I've known for some time. I guess we mutually, without saying, decided to try to make a go at it, and it really hasn't worked. Rather than disolve a friendship, we decided to skip the relationship part. It was a bummer because being with him was easy - no real expectations; just spending time together, doing some things every once in a while. It was good while it lasted, but as it began to grow into something else, he got cold feet and I became uncomfortable with trying not to move forward. Plus, I'm not so sure I want to move in that direction just yet. So, we are now just friends again. That's working and I'm glad. I say this only to say that part of the problem is that I've always been "one of the guys", and bad boys are my specialty, I guess. This person wanted someone a little more refined. You can dress me up and take me out and I can play the part (I actually like that), but sometimes I'm a little bit nuttier than most guys want. Most of the time bad boys seem to accept that part. I just had a conversation with someone about bad buys too. They are often so intense that they can see right through to a woman's soul. I think that's why a lot of women are attracted to them. They seem to know what it takes.
Sorry nice guys. You are great too, but for me, I like to jazz it up a bit - do some fun things a little bit different than the normal dinner and movie.