Feeling overwhelmed, unappreciated.
Figure writing to THS is cheaper than therapy.
Well, you certainly dont have to be married and have children to feel overwhelmed and unappreciated. Its such a small thing that kicked off this diatribe its the straw/camel thing I guess. I won a departmental contest at work today, but a mix-up allowed a work-wide e-mail announcement saying some other person won. As I was writing this, the contest judge walked in and gave me a prize, but there will be no e-mail announcing me as the winner. Another unacknowledged victory in my life. I can hear you saying "its what YOU think that matters", but I dont understand why people act like compliments from others are so unnecessary when it seems to me that most people love compliments and accolades.
Ive been living an unacknowledged life and today I am angry about that. From such simple acknowledgements like "you look nice" to more major ones like "it was a good idea to pay off the mortgage", I feel like my circle of people dont see me. Its been my lot in life to be the person with the good ideas that is taken for granted. I feel like I get a lot of "so what" attitude from my friends and family. I have gotten compliments from strangers, but not from those closest to me.
I dont know. Ive been overwhelmed by house issues this year, getting maintenance done, complaining properly when work is not satisfactorilyI dont need to be told to be grateful I have a home. Im just wound up because I wish I could let someone else "handle it" for a change. This built up stress could be that I dont enjoy conflict and Ive had a lot of it with getting my windows done this year. That issue is finally resolved, I got a discount, and I paid the bill on Saturday, but part of me wonders why in addition to doing ALL the fighting, I had to deliver the check to pay the final bill. I live with my Mom; we bought our home together. Shes not an invalid, shes one of those ladies who lunch. Its not that she should do more. I think I wish I would hear "good job" instead of whats next to be done. No acknowledgement given for getting a discount. Im beginning to sympathize with the husbands of the world, living with someone who simply requests more, more, more.. Can I just hear a "good job, honey" please?
Again, just as I am writing this, my girlfriend/coworker has popped in here for the 3rd time to tell me something unimportant. Shes waiting on the compliment I usually give her; I can tell she got her hair done at lunch time. But I got a &itchin hair-do 2 weeks ago and she has said nothing. Not the first time. Matter of fact, last week when I was with her, a stranger came up to me and said "I love your hair". Girlfriend said nothing. I dont feel like treating her better than she treats me. Not today.
I dont know. For the last 2 weeks Ive noted how close I am to irritability. I have a good sense of humor and Im relying on it to get me through this. But this dissatisfaction with people around me has been ever present for the last two weeks. Could I be peri-menopausal? I am getting near to that stage.
Oh, God. Just now the prize judge came by and said to my girlfriend "Did you see she won today?" Girlfriend said "I saw her certificate. I wondered how she got that and why I didnt have one." Girlfriend never mentioned the certificate to me. Its been hanging up for 3 hours now.
I credit girlfriend with getting me this job, though. I was a temp someplace else. Through conversation with my girlfriend I found out someone had quit at her job. I asked if they were hiring; she said yes but they needed a person who knew "XYZ", which I do not know. Two days later her boss asked her if I was looking for a job (I used to work for him too) to give me a call. She called, and the end of the story is I now work for my old boss once again. I feel like my friend could have chosen not to make the call, but she did call, so she is a friend. So maybe on a better day I wont be so sick of her.
Ive got to find a healthy avenue for venting my frustrations and getting back on an even keel.