anettemartinrnSeptember 13, 2008

Weekends here are so very long. It used to be the time my DH and I spent together. Seems everyone has something to do except me. Dont want to go out to eat, not by myself anyway, and I feel like a fifth wheel when I tag along with my parents.

What does everyone else do on the weekend?


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I clean and do laundry on the week ends because the stores are usually crowded, same with the restaurants. Some things make me lonely, movies, road trips and the big bash our zoo throws every, so I don't do those things to often.

    Bookmark   September 13, 2008 at 9:49PM
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I work. Gets boring and life goes by fast. Wish I could sit home but the tax man wants his pound of flesh.

: )

    Bookmark   September 14, 2008 at 1:11AM
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Yes, I certainly do get lonely during the WEEK, but have my grandson on the weekend, so he's great company.

We are creatures of habit - it will take some time to develope your own 'alone' habits. I am VERY familiar with what you are going through - I lost my DH to pancreatic cancer in April, 2007 - we did EVERYTHING together when we weren't working - I miss him SO VERY MUCH. I still haven't developed my 'alone' habits - just not ready yet.

You may email me ANY TIME and we can chat - that certainly helps. Jo

    Bookmark   September 14, 2008 at 11:50AM
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bunnyman, never heard of anyone working to give the tax man his pound of flesh. they get less if you don't work. LOL

    Bookmark   September 14, 2008 at 3:45PM
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Anette, I know what you mean about weekends. I've been a widow for 7 years and somehow weekends just don't get easier. I work during the week but even weekday evenings are long and lonely. Sundays are the worst-that was always a day to go to church then always went someplace. My kids are married and have their own families and very limited time together so don't see them too often. Have you thought of volunteering? I haven't done it yet but think it would be a good way to meet people and maybe feel good about helping someone. Have you been to a grief group? I went to one for several years and then we had a spin off group that was just social and I still am friends with several members. I would suggest a grief group if you haven;t done that yet. Life is hard. Good luck. Satine

    Bookmark   September 15, 2008 at 2:22PM
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Thanks for the responses. I have been without electicity since Saturday afternoon courtesy of hurricane Ike. And I am nowhere near the coast!

I need to get back into my church routine. For a long time, we didnt miss a service. That would help a lot.

I havent done any volunteering, just lost him a month ago yesterday. I tried to go back to work last week, that didnt work out, so I am looking for a non-nursing job. Dont think I can be a caregiver at this point.

I have a granddaughter, so I understand about them being good company. She is 3, and a handful, but she keeps my mind occupied.

I would like to see more action on this forum, so if anyone is up to posting new topics, go for it.


    Bookmark   September 15, 2008 at 2:30PM
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Anette, you didn't say in your post whether you have been to a bereavement group but I can't urge you enough to go. If possible try to find one that is not a set program-that is not for a 6 or 8 week period. Im not sure why they set them up that way-what is supposed to happen at the end of the 6/8 weeks? Look instead for an ongoing group that allows you to stay as long as you need to. The one that I was in was sponsored by Hospice (nonmedical) and was in a group with like people-widows or widowers within my age group. It was a life saver for me literally. My brother died 2 years ago and I encouraged his wife to find a group and she tells me that was the best thing she did. She remains friends with members of the group now doing some social things together. The other important thing is to allow yourself to grieve for however long it takes. There is no magic amount of time. It is so fresh for you that you might not even be ready to share your thoughts with people but as soon as you are ready seek a group. Good luck to you. Satine

    Bookmark   September 16, 2008 at 11:02AM
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