There IS Hope

lulie___wayneAugust 11, 2003

For all of you singles out there who may feel alone, and wonder if you will ever find the right mate, I just wanted to share a little something with you.

I have an aunt who was married for many years. Her husband died, and I would have never ever thought that she would have remarried. When she was in her early eighties, she met a wonderful man, who was, no younger than 90. They married and had a really good life for a few years. He really treated her better than her first husband and did anything that she wanted done. He was very religious, very in shape, very much a handyman etc. He died at 95, just about 2 years ago. She is now dating a younger man, lol. He is in his late eighties..(I tease her about that). He is a wonderful gentleman also.

My best friend's mom is in her early eighties and she is engaged to be married for the second time.

The point that I am trying to make is that just because you haven't found the right mate yet, don't get discouraged. There is time, and as my friend said, "Shoot, that boy girl stuff just keeps on happening". We don't have to necessarily be young to enjoy companionship from a mate. I'm sure that most of you would rather not have to wait until you are that old, but remember that it does keep going on. I guess until I saw these couples, I must have had the impression that as we get older that that "take my breath away" feeling doesn't happen anymore, but I know now, that it does.

I also always heard that as long as you are looking for a mate, it won't happen. It's when you least expect it, that one will come to you.

As I have said before, at this time, I am not single. I know though, that anything could happen to my husband and I could find myself a widow....all alone. I will try to remember my own words. I know it must be hard for some, but I guess if it happens to us, we should use our energy towards bettering ourselves in every way, and if the right mate crosses our path, great. If he doesn't, then we are being the best we can be and happy with ourselvses.


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Lulie...That's cool that your aunt found someone to spend her later years with....there are at least 2 different kinds of divorcees/singles out there (and I'm sure someone can add others)...ones who had such a bad experience the last time that it's going to take someone REALLY special to even consider getting back into a relationship, and ones who feel that they HAVE to get into a relationship in order to be fulfilled, only to have rushed into it and find themselves right back where they were before....I fall into the first category and don't even look anymore, though I do sometimes contemplate dying of an old age alone and don't care for the thought...maybe I'll change my attitude as I get older, (only 45 now)...but for now, I enjoy my life the way it is, and don't have any regrets about the freedoms that I have.

    Bookmark   August 12, 2003 at 10:02PM
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I agree with you on the two kinds of singles out there. I have seen people who wouldn't even think of getting into another relationship or marriage.
You have a long way to go, so hopefully, some really kind older man will find you and treat you like you deserve to be treated and you two can live the rest of your years together with mutual love and respect. :))

    Bookmark   August 13, 2003 at 10:39AM
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Carrie B

so hopefully, some really kind older man...

Hmmm...that's assuming it's a man that Tinmantu (Mike) would be interested in...not saying he wouldn't be but...

Anyway, Tinmantu, too bad you're in Kansas and not Philly! You sound like a good guy.

    Bookmark   August 13, 2003 at 3:11PM
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LOL...thanks Carrie....I'll pass on the men, Lulie...I'm sure you thought so because there seems to be more women than men that post here

    Bookmark   August 13, 2003 at 8:01PM
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I'm Tinmantu-AKA-Mike, I originally found GardenWeb looking for heating\ac forums, as that is the business I am in (along with sheetmetal fabricating, thus Tinman)...since then I have been finding other sections that find my interest too...glad to meet everyone that I have, thus far and hopefully by us keeping some new topics at the top, we can get some good conversation going. In the future, I'll try to put my name in the sig. so that noone accidently fixes me up with a kind older man...JK, Lulie

    Bookmark   August 13, 2003 at 8:21PM
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LOL, so sorry about that, Mike! I should have looked at your profile.
Well, you know, you never know. If we are old and lonely, either a nice old man OR a nice old lady might be welcomed.
I'll leave the love out of that one, though.

    Bookmark   August 13, 2003 at 9:22PM
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No apology necessary, Lu......I got a chuckle out of it and was flattered by Carrie's comment, all in the same's been a good to bed now, this time of year is my "harvest", and it's the longest dang harvest there have nothing on me ;) ...look forward to more chatting, nite

    Bookmark   August 13, 2003 at 10:23PM
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After an absolutely unbelievable day where I found out that my "internet" boyfriend is indeed married, still living with the wife and not in Hong Kong, but home in Denver, it's nice to have a glimmer of hope - but must I wait till I'm in my 80's to marry??!


    Bookmark   August 13, 2003 at 10:54PM
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I agree with Lulie also. I fall into the "had a horrible marriage and would never do it again" category but not for the reason most people would probably assume. Yes I was married to a man who turned out to be right out of the "Sleeping With The Enemy" movie but I still (maybe stupidly) retain my innate nature which is to believe that people are good, kind, and honest, unless/until they prove themselves beyond a doubt to be otherwise. So my reluctance to consider remarriage isn't because I've become a suspicious person. It's rooted more in my very surprising discovery that, by and large, I am happier living alone than living with another person. Maybe because I grew up as an only child and was used to always having my own 'space', privacy on demand, and so forth, but I also grew up as a hopeless romantic. If anyone had told me back at age 18 that I would prefer being single to being married, I'd have told them they were crazy. I'm still a hopeless romantic; but now that I finally have the self-confidence and independence that I never before had, it would take a lot to make me ever consider wearing a wedding band again! Or even a live-in relationship. Nothing less than a true soulmate, actually. I'm not, nor do I have any intention to be, looking for it though.

    Bookmark   August 13, 2003 at 11:11PM
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