Signs you're on a bad first date

marilouJuly 16, 2004

Sad but true.

1. He belches with his mouth open and food flying out. In a crowded restaurant. Without apology.

2. Over dinner he talks, loudly, about gruesome footage of soldiers getting killed in Iraq. Never mind that people around him might have children in the military or are veterans that have seen their own combat. And EVERYONE can hear him.

3. You motion underneath the table for the waiter to bring the check.

4. One of his friends was convicted of murder for bludgeoning someone to death.

5. The time it takes for the entire date with dinner plus the full hour it ordinarily takes to mow the lawn are both accomplished in an hour and a half.

This was my evening. Can you top this?

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Tinmantu

OMG...I hope you are joking Marilou.....was this a blind date or something?

    Bookmark   July 16, 2004 at 10:11PM
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marilou

Wish I was, tinman, and wish I could blame someone else for it but it was my own REAALLY BAD judgment. Thank God I didn't mention it to anyone ahead of time, this way I can avoid all the follow-up questions.

    Bookmark   July 16, 2004 at 10:15PM
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Tinmantu

Well we all make bad judgements sometimes....the fools are the ones that don't get out while they can Marilou

    Bookmark   July 16, 2004 at 10:21PM
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marilou

Thanks for you kindness. I could list more--technically speaking, does this qualify as a rant?

Here's number six. The number of calories in your salad is higher than his IQ.

    Bookmark   July 16, 2004 at 10:26PM
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Tinmantu

Yep....that qualifies.....and I'll have to remember the calories one....that had me roflmao

    Bookmark   July 16, 2004 at 10:28PM
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marilou

The waiter returns to the table, unbidden, to help him figure out that he shouldn't get the change that includes the ten dollar bill (we went dutch). He couldn't COUNT!

    Bookmark   July 16, 2004 at 10:48PM
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Tinmantu

LOL....lose this guy fast...change your number...buy a groucho marx glasses and mustache...anything...just lose him...DUTCH???....sorry it didn't work out for you hon, but someday you will look back and laugh, guaranteed!

    Bookmark   July 16, 2004 at 11:17PM
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Retroactive

Oh my god, Marilou. What a disaster. I hope he hasn't called you for another date, and if he does, I hope you tell him exactly why not. What a pig.

Let's see...a couple of bad first dates I had included a guy who whipped out a handicapped sticker to put on his car just so we could get a good parking space. He wasn't in the least bit handicapped. That ended it for me.

Once I was set up on a date with a friend of my friend's girlfriend. He showed up at the door getting out of his car with a cocktail in his hand. And he looked just like Charles Manson. All four of us went to a comedy club and the comedian asked how many people here were on first dates. My date raised his hand and said, "I am. I did pretty good, didn't I?" The comedian took a look at me and asked, "How does it feel to be on a first date with Charles Manson?" I could have died. I actually went in the ladies room at one point looking for a window to escape out of.

    Bookmark   July 17, 2004 at 10:55AM
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marilou

I'm sorry, retro, I hope this doesn't offend you but...

...the part with the comedian? That was funny! Seriously though, you must have wondered why your friends thought this you and Charles Manson would be a good couple!

To allay any concerns about ditching Mr. Wrong, I didn't give my home phone # or address and met him at the restaurant. (And he didn't bother to ask any personal information.)

Ladies, Retro is right. PLAN YOUR ESCAPE ROUTE!

    Bookmark   July 17, 2004 at 11:18AM
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Retroactive

The Charles Manson lookalike was a long-time close friend of my friend Jeff's gf who set us up. I think he was just handy. Jeff and she broke up not long after that; I never did think much of her and just went out with them on a group date as a favor to Jeff. It was excruciating.

And yeah, the story is funny to tell! But I'll say it wasn't funny that night. The guy was also a control freak and was the kind who criticized my choice and quantity of drinks and food. I remember him giving me a hard time at the comedy club because I didn't want to have a second (and in his case, a third) drink. Loser!

    Bookmark   July 17, 2004 at 4:01PM
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