If you could do anything....

fisheadJuly 28, 2004

This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately, since my life has gone through major upheaval (sp?).

Good time to do whatever i want to do, but what is that?

There's actually too many options - I want to go to Thailand and work under a real thai chef, and learn. I want to go to law school. I want to run a farm. I want to stay in Ohio and simply live. I want to have children (getting a little old to start thinking about that, BTW).

Anybody else go through this????

Major lifechanging event????


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I went through similar thoughts in my mid 30, looking at goals that I had set for myself but hadn't achieved....at the time I was in the middle of raising a family and it just wasn't realistic with the money going out versus the money that had to come in....you have wide extremes of goals that you want there fishhead...without the children in your life, any are a possibility....with any of your choices(with the exception of law school since it takes years and dedication) you can still have children in the near future...btw, they take years and dedication that disallows you from pursuing other dreams.

My dream now is to find Skipper and Gilligan and go on a 3 hr tour.

    Bookmark   July 28, 2004 at 10:25PM
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Thouglht provoking Fish. At one time I wanted to see the Great Wall of China. Now my Great Wall screensaver is enough. I'd like to visit Wales. Open my own antique shop somewhere.

Right now, I just want some decent kitchen knives and those Japanese garden tools!

They say "prioritize" your goals. Living quietly is fine with me. I could change my mind tho and go off in search of Oz.


    Bookmark   July 29, 2004 at 12:28AM
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After dh died I had the sense that the sky was the limit--nothing to hold me back now! Some things were in the "ideas to put on the back burner" stage, others were in the "do in the near future" stage, and still others were ideals that would be nice to reach someday. I was also in a rather frantic place for the first few years as I tried to reconstruct my identity, the previous one having been annihilated when dh died.

So yes, I've encountered a major life changing event and struggled with my options. You are not alone, fish. It's like realizing what we're capable of, what our hearts are telling us, and how much work it would be all at the same time and that can be paralyzing. Hang in there. Intuition is always a good guide to follow. :o)

    Bookmark   July 30, 2004 at 10:50PM
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I guess my goal right now is to decide what I want to do and in the meantime, try to pay my bills.
Sometimes theres just too many options, it's hard to narrow it down to what you really want.
Marilou - losing your partner had to have been rough - Congratulations for getting through it, I'm sure he was a great person.

    Bookmark   July 31, 2004 at 9:05AM
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Yup, it was rough, fish. It totally changed the meaning of life, death, and all that I knew. Going on after the major life change is a process that unfolds little by little, and you'll get through it, too. Trust that you will end up where you need to be and the path to get there will take care of itself. :-)

    Bookmark   July 31, 2004 at 9:57AM
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Guess I don't know anything I can't do. If I didn't like what I was doing at this moment I could just walk out the front door to a new life... I'm single. I often wonder about going off on a grand adventure. Perhaps go off and attend medical school in some foriegn country or simply join the peace corps. At the moment mowing the lawn sounds like adventure enough... good thing it rained so I'm not overly tempted. I have a pile of unopened books ten foot tall that I'd like to read.

    Bookmark   July 31, 2004 at 12:41PM
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Hey bunnyman, come on over! Michigan isn't that far away!

BTW, don't go to medical school in a foreign country. :o)

    Bookmark   July 31, 2004 at 3:10PM
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I am planning on retiring in ten years. Not from work, just the freedom to do what I want. So I will continue to work at my leisure.

I am already looking into the alternatives.

So, fish, do now what can earn your living, and plan for your dreams.

If school and further education is on the menu, go for it. It does pay. Good luck.

    Bookmark   July 31, 2004 at 3:33PM
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I actually volunteered for a short term assignment in Iowa. Does not look like it was accepted. I'm probably to old to get into med school here in the States but vet school probably wouldn't be out of the question. LOL... as a younger man I thought it would be law school but ran out of funds back then.

A very favorite quote is "not all who wander are lost"... from Tolkien I think.

My life is probably better the over 90% of the people on the planet so I can allow myself few complaints. While far from rich by U.S. standards I have almost always had food, shelter, and beer. I live alone and unattached at the moment but have more friends then I can count in most all parts of my life.

LOL! ... yet this thread caught my attention because not a day goes by that I don't wonder if I should be someone else. Sometimes I have to get a cold beer from the fridge just to remind myself of how wonderful my current life really is.

They said if I stayed single long enough that I would go nuts like this. I farm trees as a hobby so I'm probably not going anywhere soon unless I'm really certain it is time.

: )

    Bookmark   July 31, 2004 at 4:15PM
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You said it Bunnyman....."I CAN"...powerful words. Again, being single has it's advantages.

A year ago I brought everything home that was "personal" in my office. Only a lamp remains. Why? I didn't want to have to think about things if I just wanted to walk. I'll probably stay until I am able to retire if they quit changing all the rules.

I don't think we necessarily have to decide what we are going to do when we grow up. I enjoy spontaneity. I treasure privacy in my personal life and have already said, "WOW!" to myself even posting. If/when I ever decide to do something different all will find out long after the fact.

Listen to your intuition.....it never lies....ever.


    Bookmark   July 31, 2004 at 4:29PM
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Wow, a lot of great responses.
What holds me back from going to Thailand - I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out. Not just Thailand, but all the things I think would be great to do. I'm definitely single - no ties at all really, just friends.
I think just getting used to doing what you want to do takes some time. I'm attempting to enjoy this transition although i have to say, so much weird stuff has happened I'm startng to wonder what the universe has in mind for me next.

    Bookmark   July 31, 2004 at 9:56PM
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Now there's the million dollar question, fish. What *does* hold you back from doing one of those great things??? :o) Surely you're not sticking around just to see all those politicians tramping around your state?!

    Bookmark   August 1, 2004 at 9:17PM
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Marilou -
I definitely have a good reason to stay until Nov. 2, right?

What keeps you (me) back, that is the 63,000 dollar question. Fear of ....something.

    Bookmark   August 1, 2004 at 10:10PM
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