Check in: are you in or out of a relationship?

marilouJuly 16, 2004

A show of hands, please. How would you categorize yourself? In or out and happily or unhappily so? If you could have the ideal marital status, what would it be?

I would have to say I'm unhappily not in a relationship or dating, although when I look at the (cess) pool of eligible contenders, the unhappiness isn't quite so bad *at times*.

M.

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Tinmantu

When I see the options, I am happily out of contention for a relationship....I had my "fun" for 18 years leagally and it's still hanging around 8 years later.....I am very satisfied with being single...if I need companionship there is always a tryst

    Bookmark   July 16, 2004 at 10:14PM
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walksalone

Out and happily so!

Something about relationships just weigh me down, its been nine months, and I love this time...

If it works and is, it is great, when its not, the turmoil, is hard on the gut.

It really depends on your age, sorry, as for the "pool", and fourty and above is well, slim. They are divorced, usually with children, and... and....

But does it not make you look harder at the person? Where you might not have?

    Bookmark   July 16, 2004 at 10:22PM
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marilou

"But does it not make you look harder at the person? Where you might not have?"

Walks, you just described my reasoning when I accepted that bad first date. I decided maybe I shouldn't write him off too quick after sparks flew between us at the grocery store. Now I know why it has taken almost nine years for sparks to fly between me and a stranger--not only is the cess/pool shrinking (I'm in my late 40s), no one else has been that, er, socially "free*."

*(See belching and loud talking references in Bad First Date post.)

    Bookmark   July 16, 2004 at 10:39PM
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bunnyman

Nothing going on here. For the most part I'm happy with that. Not that I wouldn't love to meet someone special but until that happens life is good anyway.

: )
michael

    Bookmark   July 17, 2004 at 1:39AM
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Retroactive

I'm in one and very happy, hooked up at the first of this year with a guy I'd known and liked for about 12 years but had never dated before. Prior to this, while I'd gone out here and there, I'd not been in a real relationship for about ten years. But I was really happy being on my own. I'd pretty much accepted the fact that I might be single forever, and that was perfectly OK with me.

I think it's really important to know how to be happy whether you're in a relationship or not. It should not dictate how you feel about yourself.

    Bookmark   July 17, 2004 at 10:49AM
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walksalone

I will have to say I have never been on a blind date. And I have not met someone where the sparks fly at first meeting, but if I did, I would have made that gamble. So, Marilou, you show a sense of adventure, exploration and discovery. Getting out of the box.

It doesn't always work, and then maybe after a few more frogs, it may!!!

You made me realize how unspontaneous I am. I have only dated men that I have known, through the gym, work, and other activities. Can't say the result has been any better.

    Bookmark   July 17, 2004 at 12:45PM
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marilou

Walks, I think it is smart to date men you already know, not to mention more fun because of the common ground you already share! :o)

    Bookmark   July 17, 2004 at 2:33PM
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berain

Can I say "maybe"?

    Bookmark   July 17, 2004 at 9:21PM
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Kathsgrdn

Out and haven't dated since my divorce nearly two years ago. I've only just started looking at the men around me in the past 6 months or so, though...only saw a couple I was attracted to, though. ) : Went on-line and have had no luck at all. The ones I contacted I wasn't really attracted to, but thought they were nice guys. Talked to one on the phone but haven't heard anything from that person again. I may end up being alone forever...not much to choose from.

    Bookmark   July 18, 2004 at 4:43PM
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jessiecarole

I'm out. Sometimes very much wanting to be in, but mostly okay with life in general. A tryst here and there would not go unappreciated.

I am vain enough to believe that my drought has to do with location. Age does shrink the pool, and living in an isolated place compounds the problem. I will deal with reality when I go out into the world again.

    Bookmark   July 19, 2004 at 10:22AM
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