Where'd everyone go? & Men who can communicate!

gabrielesgardenMay 23, 2007

this is the deadest forum! Either everyone found someone, or everyone died! Not a peep out of anyone since the 14th!

OK, fine, I'll talk then.

Men are funny creatures. I've dated my share of men, and each time I hope he's the last...but he never is. Always some kind of disapointment.

I have yet to meet a man who can communicate the way this new guy can though...WOW! He makes it so easy to talk back to him about stuff that is important without worrying about saying the wrong thing. This relationship is starting out very open and slow moving...friends first. It's really cool. No expectations, no demands, no worries, just respect, honesty and understanding....and an intense focus on creating a friendship/relationship like no other! It's like a game with us now to see if we can really pull this off and make it work for us, unlike your traditional love affair gone wrong.

I'm 46 now (he's 50) but it's never too late, is it?

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asolo

Due respect and appreciation, however......

At some point you may be interested to know whether or not he functions. In my opinion/experience, its a rather big deal. (Sorry, no details!) I'm talking from my own experience with women and from what I've been told about other men by women I've dated.

If "friends" covers it for you, ignore above.

    Bookmark   May 23, 2007 at 8:08PM
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gabrielesgarden

"sorry no details!"

well I can only assume then when you say if he "functions" you may be meaning sexually? I already know! :-)We are involved romantically, but we are moving at a much slower pace than with others either one of us has been with in the past. Maybe I'm being naive, but i'd like to believe that people of our age and experience have finally learned what we dont want in a relationship. No I dont want to be "just friends" I want the whole package, and I know he does too. We both just think it's so important to be good friends, develop a strong foundation so the rest can work.

time will tell.

    Bookmark   May 24, 2007 at 12:20PM
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asolo

I think we're on the same page. I was, indeed, referring to matters sexual. I was referring to circumstances where friendship bloomed marvelously but where capability of expansion to desired/assumed/expected "natural" progression was lacking. When I was younger, I regarded such incompatibilities as "faults". I've come to acknowledge them as circumstances -- circumstances that should be discovered and evaluated in due course just like everything else. Via personal experience and descriptions from others, I've learned such circumstances are among those most often conscienciously hidden -- somewhat frequently comprising what could be called agendas. I've never cared for hidden agendas. That was the caution I was offering....nothing more.

    Bookmark   May 24, 2007 at 2:56PM
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gabrielesgarden

thank you for your input!

It's nice to know I'm still "alive." Last year I wrote a note on this forum called "stopped dating." I really thought I had lost interest, then I met someone but that went to hell in a handbasket very quickly ...the "I dont get it, what happened" entry on this forum I wrote about 6 months ago. It's interesting, looking back now, at the personal growth progress I've made since that first entry. That is not to say that starting to date again is necessarily a "great personal growth" but rather all that happened inbetween then and now.

I am not a fan of hidden agendas either.

life is interesting, and is even more interesting when one realizes it really has a purpose rather than to simply endure the mundane daily routines.

    Bookmark   May 24, 2007 at 3:28PM
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skyblue

is it such a big deal if he or she doesnt function?is sex so important that you cant love some one because they cant perform?i think that is a very shallow reason for not caring for some one. theres many more reasons for love than sex and besides if you are so intense about sex, there are many diffeent ways to show it.

    Bookmark   June 29, 2007 at 2:40AM
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asolo

Fair enough, skyblue. If an a-sexual relationship is OK with you, that's fine. For those for whom it isn't OK, it's a good thing to know about.

I have similar opinions about money matters, driving habits, social competence, and more than a few other things. Just something to know about yourself and consider about those whom you may consider having become part of your life.

    Bookmark   June 29, 2007 at 7:08PM
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