How do I.....?

powertoolgeekMay 24, 2005

How do I go about meeting new people? I really don't want to date someone I work with.. (been there..done that) I am not into going out to bars to go trolling for women... not that I would do that anyway. I have tried the online dating thing, but either I get no responses or I am swarmed with lonely women from Nigeria or Russian that love me and only need $xxx to get a plane ticket to be with me. Guess I need some flirting lessons or something. Maybe there is a class at the college i could take? lol Any insights would be appreciated. I don't really mind being single, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone in my life to share my day with.


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I meet new people all the time through my hobbies. For example, I participate in herding, so I belong to the local herding club which hosts a couple of activities per month. I also recently started taking classes for dog agility and not only met my fellow classmates, but will also be joining the club.

With respect to gardening, I've met people through the Texas Rose Rustlers. Through gardenweb I've met other local gardeners when we organized a small get-together. I also belong to a plant-exchange list and have met people through it.

I'm an avid mystery reader and belong to a very active and large yahoo list. There are several mystery conventions held each year and I have met a lot of the members of the list, not to mention many authors, while attending the conventions. I also attend local book signings and have met fellow list members at the signings.

I'm not as out-going as all these activities make me sound, but because I'm doing something I enjoy, I'm more relaxed and it is easier for me to approach and talk to people I've never met before, because I already know that we have something in common, whether it is dogs, books, or roses.



    Bookmark   May 25, 2005 at 9:38AM
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Here is Northern CA there is the Sierra Club Singles. I went on a hike with this group many years ago in my twenties. Great if you like hiking/biking/camping.

Craig's List has a Des Moines page with some platonic listings.

Volunteering is another way. Scroll down on this page:

Become a Big Brother, you might meet a nice single mom! ;-)

    Bookmark   May 26, 2005 at 6:03PM
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I've always read to let your friends know you're interested in meeting someone. I'd think most people know single men/women.

I know how to do more than the average Jane but manhy things are still beyond me. Any barter groups in your area? I've met some nice people through Freecycle too. Our local group meets once a month.

Much would depend on your interests. You'd want to have something in common. Maybe check out anyone looking lost in the tool departments. :)

One can hardly wear a sign, "I'm available", but you do have to talk.


    Bookmark   May 29, 2005 at 2:28AM
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Is there still such a thing as FunEd?

You could take very short, very interactive classes in fun subjects like auto mechanics for women, Chinese or Italian or vetegarian or whatever cooking, origami, *flirting*, etc.

    Bookmark   August 12, 2005 at 8:33PM
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I'm going to dissent here toolgeek. Do you want to "meet people" or are you interested in having a serious relationship with a woman? If you want a high quality relationship, the first thing you have to do is present yourself as a high quality guy. What that means is show that you are an intelligent, decent, hardworking, neat and pulled together man who is going somewhere with his life so is worth hitching a wagon to. That's what makes you attractive to women--confidence. Not to be confused with arrogance. Once you get to that point, then put the word out that you are interested in finding the love of your life. Tell your women friends and the wives of your men friends, ask them if they know of any good women worth going out with. Pursue a life filled with interesting social activities and you will meet interesting people, many good suggestions above. But remember, you don't want hobbies just for the sake of hobbies, you want DATES. Seek out eligible women and ask them out. Learn to handle rejection, don't take it personally. If you were looking for a job the more jobs you applied to the more chances you would have of finding the perfect job. Same with dates, resign yourself to their necessary evil. Go out on dates, get to know the woman, see if you hit it off. Don't be desparate, the odds are in your favor! Do be courteous and polite. If it doesn't work out, look at it as a learning experience. Online could work for you, be selective, don't advertise yourself in Nigeria, make it plain that you are interested in meeting local people. I suggest getting the book, "The Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments." It is written by a rabbi who has a rather smart alecky corny delivery of his major points, so you have to be able to take them with a grain of salt, but I do think the book has some excellent advice about the spiritual aspects of dating and relationships. It's the closest thing I've ever seen to "What do women want?" in a book.

    Bookmark   August 29, 2005 at 11:53PM
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