Ever feel like you can't do it all ...

joulesR4meApril 28, 2004

It seems like about once a month everything goes crazy at my home. I get so overwhelmed with "trying to do it all" that I just want to cry. I can't of course, no time for that ...

I've been trying to work mandatory OT at work (only 4 hrs per week, but it kills me). And I've also started going back to the gym, putting me out another 1-1/2 hrs a day. School starts in a few weeks and I don't know what is going to give - my saintity?

I haven't gotten home from work until 7:30 pm yet this week, which is typical. I worked my 2 hrs OT Mon & Tues, then went to the gym. Tonight I worked 2 hrs extra to compensate for the 2 hrs I will have to take off tomorrow to take my dog to the vet. On my way home I ran some errands (grocery, pharmacy, post office). By the time I finished putting up the groceries and feeding the dogs it was 8:00. Ran outside to mow the front yard and found the bag that came with the mower is the wrong one - will not fit and the part numbers don't match the owners manual (bought reconditioned mower last year - first time using bag). Course, I spent another hour looking for receipt - nope, can't find it ...

So, I put on a couple loads of laundry. Wiped the crap (literally) off the leather couch (dogs must have stepped in it outside), changed the sheets, fed my face, washed some dishes and now need to do some vacuuming and shower (to get all the dirt that blew out of the mower into my face).

Does anyone else feel overwhelmed about having so much to do and no-one to share it the "duties"? So many people I work with assume my life is full of free time. Don't they remember how much work it is to do everything alone - no one to fix the dinner, laundry, mow, wash the car, clean gutters, shop, get haircut, pay bills, blah blah blah ...

I can usually keep up, barely. But now that I'm spending several nights a week with bf, this back-up in chores is getting more regular. The first thing that I want to *cut* is the gym, but I just gotta drop this weight. And cooking healthy is also taking more time than eating crap (not literally - ha). Well, this is my rant ...

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well dear......this is how we end up moving in together. On the surface, it appears to be a handy and economical solution to most of the issues you bring up. I am not suggesting this for you. I think there should me more compelling reasons for keeping house together than exhaustion and conveniece, but you can see how this happens.

Can the fellow stay at your place some of the time?

Mandatory overtime stinks. Especially now when life is so busy. And yes, things always break, leak, go flat or run away when you are stressed to the max. Never fails.

I do not think the feelings you describe pertain only to singles, or sadly, that you would be any less crazy/pushed to the limit if you were part of a couple. That is the fantasy we singles cling to. The couple fantasy is that singles have "free time".

Are you healthy? Sneak a sick day and pamper yourself.


    Bookmark   April 29, 2004 at 12:34PM
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I know how you feel - sorry I can't offer any good advice - just understanding!

Unfortunately I feel depressed a lot and overwhelmed and sometimes end up doing nothing b/c I don't know where to start, only to regret doing nothing b/c I should have been doing something! Ahhhh! Anyway, I hope things get better soon!


    Bookmark   April 29, 2004 at 4:47PM
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Wow - as I re-read my post it sure sounds like I need a wheel of cheese (to go with all the wine). Sorry for the downer of a post!
And thanks jessiecarole for the reminder of the "single fantasy". I often think couples have (or should have) more free time, so I'm guilty of the same mis-understanding. I'll try to remember that just being a pair doesn't take the stress away. It probably adds a whole new element of stress .... no reason to rush anything with new bf!!!
Thanks for the support ginger - now get out there and do something! just kidding

    Bookmark   April 30, 2004 at 8:51AM
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Only about a thousand times, joules. It's good that you came here and vented. You needed an outlet, huh? Good! You're human!

When we have a partner to share life with, there is someone else to turf things off to when we can do no more. That person is missing for us singles. We, and we alone, have the entire load of responsibility for all that needs to be done. That is the reality, and of course we fantasize about having a second person provide some relief!

The solution I've found, and I recognize it might not work for everybody, is to simplify. Consider what truly matters and what doesn't, and leave the less important things for later. If what is truly important is to have the floor vacuumed, then do it. If it's more important to sit down and put your feet up, let that take precedence. So what if the lawn gets a little shaggy, or the dishes pile up. We're justified in letting it go because the truth is, we simply *can't* do it all. Gross as it may sound, (and I never thought I'd do this) as I write this, there is cat yack waiting to be cleaned off the floor because I have given other things priority for the time being. I'll get to it, but in the meantime it can wait.

The "it" that we're trying to do when we're trying to "do it all" includes self-care, too! Fer-cryin'-out-loud, *cry out loud* if you have to! At least you'll feel better when it's time to go back to the grind. :o)

    Bookmark   April 30, 2004 at 10:35AM
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I can identify with the too much to do in too little time stress situations and I also can identify with the there is too much to do and not enough time to do it and I don't know where to start so I don't do anything syndrome. In my case, it now takes me and hour and a half to drive home from work due to the traffic problems every day that seem to get worse. I usually don't leave work until after 5:00 PM, have to get to the other side of the river which means I have to go through or near downtown Nashville and there is always some function going on there where traffic does not move. By the time I get home it is 7:00 PM, I have to change clothes, feed the horses, cats, dogs, grab something for me. By then it's 8:30 or 9:00 PM. And by then I'm too tired to do much else because I get up at 4:00 AM and start the routine in reverse all over again. Saturdays it's almost the same. Got to get all of my trash together and haul it to the collection site, go to the feed mill, co-op, grocery shopping, maybe the vet and a dozen other things. I get home around 4:00 PM and try to mow the yard. At almost dark, I'm out feeding all the animals again. Sundays I am so tired that I don't want to do anything but I have to get my clothes ready for the next week at work, do what housework that I can get by with doing and try to have some time to just do nothing. People are always telling me to "get rid of my animals", I don't want to get rid of my animals and the only way I could get rid of them is to condem them to certain death. Nobody wants the cats or dogs and my horses are untrained and old. I don't think there is any way they would even load in a truck or trailer and survive the experience. I just want time to be able to enjoy my land and my animals, and, I am hoping that is in the near future. I hope to be able to retire at the end of June.

    Bookmark   April 30, 2004 at 12:59PM
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I am glad you are close to the day, Judith. I know how much you have been looking forward to retiring. I hear you about the commute. I hate having to cross Nashville.

Today I am up to my ears in dust and dog hair. Cat yak wouldn't even get noticed, Marilou. In fact, a whole cat could disappear in here. This happens every year when I get interested in the yard. I hate it, but at least it doesn't bother anybody but me. I have been mucking out today so the house will be clean when I get home from work Monday. I hate coming in to a mess.

I have too much stuff. I wish I could get a dumpster and pitch about 75% of the contents of my house. I have always had yard sales and purged every few years until I moved here. This is not a good place (too remote, narrow road, no parking), and packing stuff up to have a sale somewhere else just seems like too much work.

I dream about moving into a loft in the city......where I could sit and dream about the yard and flowers and dogs and birds I have now ~grin~

pass the cheese, please

    Bookmark   April 30, 2004 at 6:52PM
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Yep. I have pulled a muscle in my back. I need to mow. The house needs to be cleaned. I cannot move. By the time I would line up help, for pay, I will be okay and do it myself.
My cats don't seem to mind. LOL! So it will wait. It would be convenient with another around to help, yet only my pride is hurt.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2004 at 1:29PM
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Any single that doesn't feel overwhelmed at times is either a liar or the most organized person in the world with hardly a social life....you aren't alone in wishing that there was someone around to help take the load off at all....I like the suggestion of taking a sick day from work to just catch up on things...(don't tell the boss, but I do this once every couple months :) ).....The end result is that I do find that I can do it all if I manage my time wisely.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2004 at 6:20PM
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I nearly always feel overwhelmed by house, kids, animals, work, yard, laundry, pool, cooking (as if), car, and anything else I left out. I hire people to do some things like mowing and edging and sometimes housekeeping.

    Bookmark   May 12, 2004 at 9:57PM
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