How 'creative' has loneliness made you?

marilouApril 23, 2004

I suspect I'm not the only one that has suffered from The Lonelies. (Okay all you lurkers, I know you're out there, *and* lonely...) Lonelies can be maddening, can't they??

What have you done in your pursuit of "fixes?" Perhaps ways or places you've looked to find a companion, something you've discovered works as a distraction, or any other creative, "outside the box" searches for a cure. I'm looking for unusual ideas here. Who knows? Maybe we can compile a list of Handy Tips! :-)


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I'll start.

1. I have gone to softball tournaments where I know not a single person there, including anyone on the team, what the rules of the game are, or who's winning.

2. Going to a machine shop and pretending to admire some calipers just to be around some testosterone.

3. Reading the personals and either laughing or debating whether to respond.

4. Looking up census data for my location to see if single men my age actually exist.

Who's next?

    Bookmark   April 23, 2004 at 9:47PM
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Posting on the internet on the singles forum. LOL!

Taking interest in college basketball playoffs, and college football. Due to a male friend at work.

Going to the hardware store, and have explained how to change out the guts of a toilet, buying the right miter saw (yes, I have one and use it), or any tool or part.

    Bookmark   April 24, 2004 at 2:24PM
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I spend a couple of hours a week in the office of a local charity. Good for the soul, and the brain. I spend most of the rest of my time in Internetland, which is a reminder that some people have lives, and that there really is a world outside these 4 walls. My little garden is also a great solace.

There are 2 little boys (ages 7 and 11) who do little odd-jobs for the residents of our complex. They keep me poor in $$$, but I so enjoy their company as they help me in the garden. Together we've learned a lot about lizards and spiders and birds and caterpillars and plants (especially herbs!). And we talk about all sorts of things - school, sports, life, death, you name it. They enrich my life enormously, and I like to think it's mutual.

    Bookmark   April 25, 2004 at 7:47PM
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DD, from what you describe it does sound mutual or those boys wouldn't keep coming back! What neat ways to channel your energy!

I think that's one of the secrets to coping with The Lonelies--take that energy and put it somewhere that's nourishing. BTW, WalksAlone, have you found that men in hardware stores tend to stare? It's like women are such a novelty in a hardware store they don't know *what* to think!


    Bookmark   April 27, 2004 at 1:30PM
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I thank heaven I have my dogs - I play w/ them a lot. I also have a garden (four raised beds actually) and since it's finally warmed up that gets me out of the house. I also take care of my neighbors yard. I'm so glad it's Spring!

Great topic - I'll be back for some ideas too!


    Bookmark   April 29, 2004 at 4:51PM
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The winter months are the hardest to overcome, but once warmer weather rolls around I take care of the loneliness by getting out in the yard, work up a good sweat mowing and then enjoy a cold beer as a reward....on the weekends I make sure and plan to lay out a steak or roast to barbeque for my evening's an event to look forward to. After the chores are done and I am waiting to begin cooking.. I put on my favorite music open my windows and pitch horseshoes.
On some Sunday mornings, I get up and drive to the lake and take a hike...stopping and just observing the world around's amazing how our lives get so full that we don't "really" look at what's going on around us.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2004 at 7:11PM
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Wow, you guys sound so, uh, *adjusted.* No offense here, but don't you ever go STIR CRAZY?!?

Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna bounce off all four walls if I don't find something *different* to do!

(Maybe I already HAVE gone stir crazy and you guys are the normal ones???)


    Bookmark   May 2, 2004 at 3:02PM
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Uh oh, no response. This can't be good.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2004 at 1:53PM
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crickets chirping...... :) but seriously Marilou, it all goes back to why some of us are single I think. It seems a majority (but not all) of the posters on here have had one or two bad experiences with relationships and that they feel similar to myself. To wit: that you prove to yourself that you can indeed survive without someone else and if and when that special person comes along, it will be icing on the cake and not because of need....there are all kinds of spring fairs, flea markets and activities going on right now...go out and wander around and look at some art, maybe you will find a fellow art lover, who knows?
BTW who is to define normal?...I'd rather do things out of character, after meeting a lot of "supposed" normal people that I come upon.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2004 at 11:59PM
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Yep, I hear those crickets. :-) This place gets pretty quiet sometimes, eh?

    Bookmark   May 5, 2004 at 1:54PM
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Yeah, it can get quiet for spells....a perfect place to do my absolut rants because no one notices and I vent...heh

    Bookmark   May 5, 2004 at 8:26PM
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I look back over my life and see that I have always spent much time alone. I've been doing things on my own for so long it just seems natural. I recall feeling the "lonelies" when I'd be on business trips and all the men would rush back to their hotel rooms to call their families, and me, Singlewoman, had no one to call. I learned in my twenties that going out "on the town" alone made me feel lonely, so I ceased that. I haven't felt the lonelies for several years now though I am often alone. I'm the type who can feel more lonely in a group (or a relationship) than I do on my own. I'm not a particularly physically "active" soul. I like to keep my mind busy.

I don't see having a special person as "icing on a cake" but more like the one who, together with me, makes salt. You know, where the whole is greater than the sum of its' parts? But alas, my dream man is already married with children. You've probably heard of him. Bob Newhart.

    Bookmark   May 5, 2004 at 10:20PM
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Welcome to the board Cube1067....Bob Newhart is one of my favorite comedians....Hang in there, another bald headed wit is bound to come along one of these days :)

    Bookmark   May 5, 2004 at 10:30PM
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