I am sick of my own company

lpinkmountainApril 1, 2004

I don't know about you all, but I am bored sick of myself. I hear all this crap about the key to sucessful singledom is "liking yourself," "nurturing yourself" blah, blah, blah. Heck, I like myself, and take pretty good care of myself too. But enough already!! Do you ever get like this? What to do?

I work long hours during the week, and weekends I spend just trying to keep up with housework and "taking care of myself." I have dear friends but most have kids so they don't go out at all, ever. They spend almost all of their time with kid things. Seems like it would make them nuts. I don't remember my folks sacraficing adult pleasures entirely. We had babysitters, or else we were just told to go play and not bug the adults. I never felt neglected either. But I must admit, other than my gay godfather, my folks had no single friends.

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Daisyduckworth

I'm tired of my alone/own company too! I feel like the visitor who has long ago worn out her welcome. I'm very fond of me, I'm one of the nicest people I know, as friendly as the next person, with a brain, and interests and so on. But talking to myself is very uninspiring, with never a different point of view emerging. I have friends of course, and while I love and appreciate them to the fullest degree, familiarity can become boring there, too! I have little or no social life for much the same reasons as you - when people have Other Halves and families, it's hard to squeeze in time for a Single. Playing Gooseberry (being the third, one-too-many, person) is no fun for anybody. Besides, my financial situation is such that a social life doesn't enter into the budget.

Solutions? If I had any, I wouldn't be in this situation! All we can do is try to compensate. In my case, I've emigrated to Internetland, where I can communicate with hundreds of people all over the world. I might physically be confined in a small room, but mentally I'm travelling the world and exploring hundreds of other minds. It slows down the trend towards a soggy brain!

    Bookmark   April 2, 2004 at 3:18AM
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jessiecarole

me too

just a few more weeks and I can wear myself out messing around in the yard.

    Bookmark   April 2, 2004 at 6:50PM
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Tinmantu

I guess I haven't been alone long enough to be tired of my company yet...it's only been 9 years for me and the first couple were spent with friends that were great at helping me get through the divorce recovery period...now I'm to the point where they've moved away and I'm satisfied with having my time to do whatever. When I feel like meditating I crank up the stereo, open the windows and go out in the yard and pitch horseshoes by myself. Every once in a while someone walks by and asks to join in. Even then I feel like I am being interuppted. Oh well, someday I'll get bored, I'm sure.

    Bookmark   April 3, 2004 at 10:56AM
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walksalone

I have never thought of it that way. I can join in with friends or not, or family. Maybe its my job, that I am glad to be home with no interaction, and enjoy the peace and quiet, after the cats are fed!

I do find my dreams which are very vivid, that I am always "talking" to someone. Interesting.

    Bookmark   April 3, 2004 at 1:19PM
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Tinmantu

Heh, to show how small this town is ...I am out meditating (pitching horseshoes with the windows rattling) and I see this elderly gentleman in a Lincoln Towncar pull over just as I am about to throw a shoe...I stop and look at him to see what he wants....he says "I want to see if you are any good"...talk about pressure...lol...I didn't ringer but hit the stake....he yelled out his window "you're throwing left handed, that's the problem"...lol...see why I don't like company?

    Bookmark   April 3, 2004 at 8:24PM
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walksalone

Wait till he sees me throw! His tire is gone! And my insurance is in effect...

    Bookmark   April 3, 2004 at 8:42PM
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Tinmantu

heh......I have a gas meter about 6 feet away from one end of my pit....I put a rubbermaid trashcan over it for people like you, Walks....I call it the gas meter condom

    Bookmark   April 3, 2004 at 8:53PM
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lpinkmountain

"I feel like the visitor who has long ago worn out her welcome."
DD, that quote hits the nail on the head! :-)
Yes, TT, it doesn't happen right away, it takes about 15 years of singledom before you start getting sick of the routine, and I imagine having your daughter around was quite the distraction. I've been single all my adult life, about 25 years. My married friends tell me that if I was married I would have a different set of troubles, but I always think, "Well, at least they would be NEW troubles!" I think jesse is right though, it is probably largely due to really bad case of cabin fever at this point. We're supposed to get snow here! I went hiking most of the day Saturday and that helped a lot.

    Bookmark   April 5, 2004 at 9:33AM
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Tinmantu

A good point about my daughter LP....that did occupy my time for a good part of the first 5 years and off and on after that....maybe that's why I am so enjoying my quiet time now...my wish is for all of us to get out and enjoy this beautiful spring and the summer that is coming up...cabin fever gets to us all.

    Bookmark   April 5, 2004 at 10:04PM
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chargreen

I think everyone gets tired of the same old situation year after year. When you are single you have only yourself to blame for how you are feeling. When you are in a relationship you can blame the other person. I think that's how many relationships end. One person is tired of the relationship and doesn't want to do anything constructive to keep it going. When you are single you can't break up with yourself. You have to change your attitude or stay unhappy. Isolation and cabin fever are the worst. Finding an activity that you can enjoy can make all the difference. Even if it's just complaining about being single on the internet ;0).

    Bookmark   April 5, 2004 at 10:42PM
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lpinkmountain

"When you are single you can't break up with yourself." Now that's a great quotable quote if I ever heard one! :-)

    Bookmark   April 7, 2004 at 6:18PM
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marilou

Hi, I'm new to this forum and, quite frankly, relieved that such a forum exists! I was widowed at 39 (8+ years ago), and ever since then I've not found a "niche" where I fit in. I'm too young for the widow's groups (they're too depressing anyway), too old for the singles scene. Friends are all married and more interested in investing time in their spouses/families, which I totally understand. I know of no single men--make that law-abiding single men--there are plenty of "bad boys" out there that don't interest me!

I wanted to introduce myself and hope to chat on this forum more. Re: the topic, I don't get sick of myself but I do become torn between one side of me wanting to be a homebody and another side that sometimes craves social interaction with *somebody* else my age that's also single. It's more like I get sick of the four walls of my house sometimes, and just have to get out.

Thank you all for your posts. It is so helpful to read about the experiences of other single people!

Marilou

    Bookmark   April 16, 2004 at 9:56PM
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Tinmantu

Welcome to the board Marilou....I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we look forward to seeing your posts in the future....being widowed and having a spouse from hell are two different things so I can understand why you would be torn....in a "separation by choice" persons situation they are more apt to grow to like their time...I am sorry for your loss

    Bookmark   April 16, 2004 at 10:02PM
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chargreen

Welcome Marilou. What a great member page you have. It's so funny. I think we need to start an introduction or welcome thread, any volunteers?

    Bookmark   April 16, 2004 at 10:27PM
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jessiecarole

well said. tinman!

welcome. Marilou

    Bookmark   April 16, 2004 at 10:29PM
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Tinmantu

It was your idea Char(and a good one)...I think you should take the honors...heh

    Bookmark   April 16, 2004 at 10:46PM
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walksalone

Welcome, Marilou.

We will be glad to hear everyone's experience.

Jump in on the "Post it Here", thread to talk about nothing, something, what you did or did not do. Glad you are here.

    Bookmark   April 17, 2004 at 11:58AM
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mjmercer

1pinkmountain, re your original post: story of my life. Solution to the dilemma: #$!! if I know.

    Bookmark   April 18, 2004 at 10:02AM
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marilou

Wow, thanks everyone, for your welcoming! I must say that it's a foreign feeling to find people in the same situation as myself!!! Leaves me a bit tongue-tied here, in a nice way. :-)

chargreen, thanks for the compliment on my member page. I got the idea for adding the "funniest thread" after reading Cactus Joe's member page. I never laughed so hard as I did reading his! It's good for a lift, everyone.

    Bookmark   April 18, 2004 at 10:25AM
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Tinmantu

Welcome to the board MJMercer!....don't forget to check in on the newbies thread that Char started up just for people like you.....we don't need a life story but stop in and say Hi there....I like the way things are growing around here...must be spring

    Bookmark   April 18, 2004 at 2:38PM
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mjmercer

I'm actually not a newbie -- been around since 1998. I just don't post that often. But thanks for the warm words. :o)

    Bookmark   April 18, 2004 at 6:09PM
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Tinmantu

Sorry for not recognizing that MJ..I hadn't seen your name around since the rebirth of the board is all....at any rate, I hope you stick around and become a regular.

    Bookmark   April 18, 2004 at 6:54PM
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