Are you NUTS?!
Ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:
1. At lunchtime, sit in you parked car with sunglasses on, and point a hairdryer at passing cars - see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In the memo part of your checks, write "For smuggling diamonds."
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with prophecy."
8. Dont use punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Order diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital - ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
When money comes out of the ATM, scream: "I won, I won."
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose."
Tell your kids over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
Always leave your shoes untied.
Leave your cell phone on during a play, then borrow someone elses phone and call yourself.
Leave a set of car keys in the ignition, but lock the car.
When asked a question, just look up and reply-- "I hear voices and they don't like you!"