For the guys - what should we do?

gneegirlApril 29, 2008

Here's a spin if I ever saw one -

We want to know what it takes to make the guy's boat float!!

There is a lot of discussion here and elsewhere on how wrong the guys have been to us. Yes, it is VERY tough trying to bounce back when that happens. This is especially true when we the guy has been less than respectable. So, asking you fellas out there,what does it take to make and keep you happy? Also, what goes through your mind after a break-up. Yep, you have to be politically correct because after-all, this is GW. However, I think if us gals had it straight from the horse himself, we could learn a little more about what you go through as well. What does it take for you to ask a gal out to dinner, etc? You know, those things we don't even think or know about because you don't talk about them.

So, let's see how high the number goes on this thread - LOL!!

gng

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asolo

Bogus questions. Impossible to answer. We're not all alike -- any more than you are.

And we learn from you -- about ourselves -- along the way. You cause us to see things in ways we otherwise wouldn't. Isn't it like that for everyone?

All I can say is we learn/think/feel better with you than without you. If we find that we don't, we leave.

Disclaimer: I'm just me. One guy. I'm no spokesman.

    Bookmark   April 30, 2008 at 7:38PM
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gneegirl

asolo - well said. Not sure I'd say the questions were bogus because I was really checking out individual experiences, opinions. Not as a debate, but just for info. I've been in conversations that included the guys (men) sometimes, and they had some quite interesting comments on those same questions I asked.

Oh yeah - thanks for the comment on "better". That's pretty insightful. I think we pretty much feel the same way too. I guess it goes back to that whole "basic needs" discussion we were having before. We all need a companion of some sort.

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 7:18PM
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asolo

Sorry, sweetheart...looks like your proposed thread is DRT. (Dead Right There)

    Bookmark   May 1, 2008 at 9:16PM
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gneegirl

Didn't expect much. Was curious and wondered if the guys here would talk some, even amongs themselves. So, no love lost with this one.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2008 at 10:50AM
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asolo

Well, maybe that's the secret: Don't expect much and you'll never be dissatisfied.

I suspect guys as well as gals could tee off on that.

Still say my world's more or less populated with nice folks all around. Not saying I'd care to live with every one. Just saying. Continue to believe there's someone for everyone. They're out there.

    Bookmark   May 4, 2008 at 11:52AM
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gneegirl

That'g good to know, Asolo!!

    Bookmark   May 4, 2008 at 7:43PM
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highcenter

I would say that asolo is spot-on but I would like to add a couple of items.

Don't ask questions that are impossible to answer. You know what those impossible questions are... If you don't, you are probably asking them and then getting ticked-off when you get the answer...

Don't get ticked off when we tell you the truth. You get mad when we don't tell you the truth and then you get mad when we do tell you the truth. Most guys like to keep things black & white. Now, my question is: Do the pants (blouse, skirt, bikini, etc...) make your @$$ look fat or is the fact that it is fat with/without them... It does not mean that I love you any less, a fact is a fact...

We want to fix things (when we want to fix them). If you want to complain but do not want me to do anything about it, let me know BEFORE you start complaining. Tell me that you are ticked off about something & you want to tell me about it (because it is better to let it out than to keep it in...) but that you do not want me to get involved or do anything or expect me to say anything but listed. I will do my best to listen (although my mind may stray away) but I will not get involved or try to help.

If you tell me not to get involved then I will not get involved. Don't get ticked off because I did not get involved.

I need me time. Don't get mad when I need me time.

If you want me to do something let me know. I can't read your mind.

Be up-front & tell me. Don't make me play a guessing game or say that you left me hints. The best hint in the world is to tell me. That way I know. Don't think that I will figure it out...

If I want to change then I will change. Don't try to change me from who I am. If you don't like who I am find someone else...

Personally, I like to plan things out and do what I plan on doing. If we are going to the store to buy bird food then we are going to the store to buy bird food. We are not looking at new patio furniture, lights, counter tops, and rugs. We are going to buy bird food and then we are done...

So, that is my piece. I am sure that I have a lot more comments but that should give enough to make people think...

    Bookmark   May 10, 2008 at 5:26PM
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gneegirl

highcenter - just letting you know I'm lmao!!! I've heard these so many times; some to me and some from others. But, they are so typical, and probably true in most relationships. Yeah, my fav - I'm guilty!! - the one about planning, i.e., the "shopping" trip. Going to the store and shoppin, yeah, are two different things. Funny thing, when my sister and I go to the store and I "stray", she just looks at me and says, "you didn't come for that did you", or "we didn't come here for that". She hates shopping. But, she loves the things that I buy.

thanks for the response - some real things to think about!

    Bookmark   May 13, 2008 at 1:08AM
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scbeekeeper

Just joined today and saw this one so I thought here is as good a place to start as any. Most of us guy's are not that hard to figure out, down here where I am from anyway. We don't go as deep as you ladies think we do. I would just as soon have you ask what you really want to know, just be ready for the actual answer. I don't need to be doing something all of the time. Just time with whoever I am going out with at the time is enough. As far as what I think after a break up, it depends on why or what was going on at the time. Usually though as long as the truth was given by whoever did the breaking up and no cheating went on, then not too much goes on, just normally stay friends. As far as asking a gal out to dinner, it is just that. If you act interested and seem interested at all I just ask. I am not a mind reader and don't get a lot of the hints sometimes and about half the time I get asked out because I did not pick up on what was given. You just have to realize we men are pretty simple, I don't like the drama queens or the ladies that always ask "what are you thinking about?" It is usually nothing at all. I work 12 hours a day, come home where I raise hogs, chickens, honeybees, a garden, 20 fruit trees, an acre of sunflowers, 2 acres of plums and blackberries, mow a 4 acre yard, and try to keep up with 2 dogs roaming around the other 25 acres. I don't have time or energy to think about anything that causes trouble or goes along with trouble. I just zone out and get things done. If I go to a store I go in to get what I need and get out, If I go on a date I just want to know where you would like to go and we go there or if you have no opinion I go where I want and don't want to hear the complaining that you don't like that place. Just say what you want and I'll say what I want and it would be so much easier. Well I guess that went longer than I expected or you wanted but there it is. Just keep it simple, be honest, say what you want, what you need, what you are looking for and it is a lot easier, because like I said, around here we are not that deep or complicated just a bunch of old country boys trying to get along.

    Bookmark   June 5, 2008 at 6:55PM
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kayjones

A guy once told me there are two main things guys think about ALL THE TIME: sex and food, in that order. Any other thoughts are random and inconsequencal! LOL

    Bookmark   June 5, 2008 at 11:19PM
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gneegirl

Now Jo, that doesn't sound like what scbeekeeper said - LOL!! Funny, I've heard that too - a lot. I even know some guilty parties. There are the plain and simple guys out there too. The only problem, those are the ones that take care of you, and give you the security. But Dad can do that!! Then we have to choose - or as they say, we want both; ya gotta have the "bad-boy" to keep things interesting. I think guys do too though, and we all know that saying!!

scbeekeeper - thanks for the great response. I thought this thread died a slow death a long while ago. I have a great respect for what the guys have to say. They are usually to the point and don't get emotional about what they want. Sometimes that helps to put things in proper perspective. I don't think there is a happy medium because we want different things at different times. If there is one, it's the time when we've learned how to balance the two within ourselves - basically, learn to share.

Welcome to TSL Forum!!

gng

    Bookmark   June 7, 2008 at 1:17AM
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