when 'just friends' means just that...
I am newly back on the single market after breaking up with my boyfriend. It's only been like, a month. I totally prefer singledom and have vowed to NOT involve ANY MAN other than my best friend (male) and her father, in my DD's life. Period.
So I get a call from the guy who sold me my car last year on my 30th birthday (a yr ago, I have a bday coming up!). I have been in touch with this guy for over a year now, well he found me my "dream car" and he stayed in touch mainly to ask for more business to be sent his way (or so I thought).
Turns out he just called me again to "check up on the car and on me" and he said he learned I was single again. He then asked me out on a date.
I said no.
I told him I'm far from ready. I guess I feel comfortable enough with this guy, enough to be honest, I feel like I know him because of all the conversations leading up to the car purchase and then all the follow up calls he made. Nice guy and he's a looker, but I have zero-interest in dating right now.
So he asked if he "showed up" at one of the gigs my band plays at ... would I dance with him? Talk to him? Hang with him? I said yes. But, drive separate, I pay my stuff you pay yours, we part ways end of the night, etc.
(He knew months ago about the band and my desire for dancing (he dances, too) because I talk about music a lot.)
So he is planning on showing up at the gigs, etc. and we will "hang out".
I'm just really really afraid that "friends only" won't fall on his ears. Too many times guys have been pushy or downright egotistical in thinking they can "make me" be with them or push me their way. Change my thinking. It only pushes me away. I'm fiercely independent and when someone tries to "take me", it makes go the other way.
I really want to hang out with the Toyota salesguy, he seems REALLY fun, especially after Mr. Boring who I just dumped. Me and the salesguy could have a blast. But that is all I want; to hang out and have fun. None of the pain of relationships.
Guys, if a woman (who is vibrant and fun) dances with you and hangs out with you, talks your head off, shares her available time with you.. says "friends only"... do you listen, or do you press-on until she caves?