boyfriends post on personal page

joulesR4meMarch 6, 2005

hummmmm -- bf & I have been going thru the highs & lows for the past few months. No break up has lasted more than several days - he wants to move on - no wait, he just had a momentary loss of sanity. He comes back. I don't necessarily take back, but we end up at dinner or movies, etc, with him hoping and praying that I'll give in. Hummmmm - interesting thing, the internet. Seems you can find someone very easily when they post to a personal page on Yahoo Personals .... picture included. Very interesting indeed ... Time to open a bottle of Merlot I think. Anyone care to join me?

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Wings2W

I'll bring some Chardonnay.

I'd opt for getting your ducks in a row JR4Me. At the very least the decision will be yours.

^w^

    Bookmark   March 6, 2005 at 5:11AM
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Carrie B

Oh yes, I'll bring the chocolate.

    Bookmark   March 6, 2005 at 7:19AM
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jennmonkey

and I'll bring the baseball bat. :) just joking (or am I?) hehehe

    Bookmark   March 6, 2005 at 8:10PM
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Tinmantu

I'll show up with my bottle of Grey Goose, baseball helmet and athletic cup just in case Jenn brings the baseball bat :)

    Bookmark   March 6, 2005 at 9:20PM
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zeke

Hey,
i could send you some homemade Rhurbarb wine :-) .
Zeke

    Bookmark   March 6, 2005 at 10:09PM
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joulesR4me

I wish I would have read these posts yesterday - would have really cheered me up. I actually blew a gasket here at my work desk at the comments. Thanks guys. Mmmm, chocolate, wine and weapons! Reminds me of the Rennaisance festival.
Rhurbarb wine - wonder about that. I'm the only person I know who loves Rhurbarb pie - with only a pinch of sugar. I bake it and eat it all myself - can't ever get any takers on it (which is fine with me).

    Bookmark   March 7, 2005 at 9:39AM
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Carrie B

I'll join you in the rhubarb pie, so long as there's plenty of vanilla ice cream to go with it!

    Bookmark   March 7, 2005 at 10:04AM
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lpinkmountain

Joules, I don't know the whole situation, but from what I have observed and experienced over the years, it seems like the way a lot of men deal with the end of a relationship is to try and find someone else to go out with to distract them from feeling sad. My friend's ex did that, I have been the "rebound chick" on a few occasions, my cousin did it, and my good friend's son is doing it now after a shocking and sad divorce his wife wanted. So perhaps BF is just hedging his bets for the inevitable? Do you want a committed relationship with him? If not, you have to be prepared for this. You've got some soul searching to do, I don't envy you. This is the kind of thing I think this board could be very helpful with. Hang in there and let us know how it is going, if you feel comfortable, but no pressure.

    Bookmark   March 7, 2005 at 1:05PM
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joulesR4me

thanks pinkmtn ... I do need to do some soul searching - or probably, just to be realistic. I've always given him extra points because he is very compassionate about other people (esp those with obvious handicaps) and animals. I thought he was so admirable to be able to look outside the box - date a girl who's so much older (15 yrs), with a little extra weight (he's a personal trainer), and dogs that are treated like babies. Maybe it's time for me to see him for the other things he is .... he's a mess emotionally (diagnosed with obsessive/compulsive disorder, AADD, anxiety, etc) but refuses medication - because he wants to deal with it himself - feeling the Rx make him too numb. Will not seek therapy - as indicated by his Dr - even when she says it's the #1 thing to dealing with the condition(s). He's selfish & lazy (both something that he admits) and very young= immature. I guess that I just hoped things would work. That he'd mature and I'd end up with such a "nice guy". Heck, what was I thinkin?

    Bookmark   March 7, 2005 at 7:07PM
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lpinkmountain

Well joules I hardly know you, but from your posts it seems like you are also a compassionate person towards other people, and someone who was able to "look outside the box" and see the good points in people, and also have faith in relationships and in people's ability to mature. These all sound like excellent qualities to me, so don't kick yourself too much for having them. But there does come a point, doesn't there? I can't tell you when that point is, but I can tell you that I have been there and I know how hard it is. Well at least I have some idea, everyone's situtation is different. Some people get better over time, like fine wine, and some people just end up as moldy grape juice, and there's nothing you can do about it. But by all means seek out a better vintage, life is too short to drink moldy grape juice!!

    Bookmark   March 7, 2005 at 9:16PM
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zeke

i like a little bit of milk with Rhurbarb pie .
in my opinon the Rhubarb wine ( which is home brewed )
is a lil dry but is quite potent ( it kinda sneaks up on ya ).
Zeke

    Bookmark   March 8, 2005 at 10:28PM
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bunnyman

I love both rhubarb pie and wine. As for lovers that have issues... well I don't love them.

: )
michael

    Bookmark   March 11, 2005 at 1:50AM
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joulesR4me

And the punches still keep coming ....

BF now admits that he did meet a girl out - just as friends. When I asked if his personal page turned up anyone that he went out with, and his response was a flat "NO", I figured it was true. He said that this meeting didn't count - he met her on a telephone chat line, not the internet. Huh? I must have missed something. He just called to confess this to me - explaining how much he loves me and hurts to have kept it from me. Just wanted a "clear conscience", you know, in case we get back together, everything was "up front". Whatever. Forget the wine, I need something better. Got a couple tester's of Sky Melon in the fridge. Walking that way ....

    Bookmark   March 13, 2005 at 8:27PM
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bunnyman

People change... it sounds like he has turned into a jerk.

    Bookmark   March 13, 2005 at 9:15PM
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Tinmantu

I'm sorry that it turned out this way Joules....All I can say is fug him, it's his loss....you could take out the phone book and pick a name and he'd be more likely to treat you better than that crap.....thank you for keeping us posted and feel free to vent any time you need to...we do care about your feelings

    Bookmark   March 13, 2005 at 9:39PM
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Wings2W

I agree with Bunnyman. How many of the qualities you admired remain now? You deserve more.

Wing

    Bookmark   March 14, 2005 at 8:30AM
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zeke

sounds like the typical jekyll and hyde .
Zeke

    Bookmark   March 15, 2005 at 8:17PM
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joulesR4me

*Typical* jekyll & hyde. Oh, that's scary.

bunnyman - my marquis/screen saver now says "People change... sometimes into jerks." Thanks for giving me something to ponder ... something that's not too scary, but that I'm realizing can be true.

    Bookmark   March 15, 2005 at 9:48PM
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kim_okla

My experience, men usually have to have the next one lined up before they let go. Wouldn't want to be alone you know.

I'll have a Bailey's on ice please.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2005 at 10:28AM
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joulesR4me

Heck no ... why take time to make yourself happy when you can expect someone else to do it! I know that both men & women (not all) do this too. I took a couple years off and really got comfortable with myself. It was a great feeling and gives me a lot of security now - to know if a relationship ends that it doesn't mean the end of the world - or worse, alone... But it's a shame that it took me till my late 30's to give it a try. It would have given me so much more confidence if I'd done it in my 20's!
Hey, I guess there's something to be said for the *re-bound relationship* too, right? NOT.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2005 at 11:08AM
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