Need your advice please

jessiecaroleJanuary 12, 2004

I have only one picture online. I want to try the online meeting thing again. My picture is a resume shot. I do not think that you all understand how difficult it is to get a candid/natural picture to post when you are going online looking for companionship because you are a hermit. Who is going to take your photo? Do you order some small something and wait, camera in hand, for the UPS man? When I lived in the city, I had no trouble meeting people. About 10 years ago, I bought my place in a rural area where I live by myself with my dogs. Except to go to work (where I would rather my pathetic lack of a social life remains undiscussed), I am pretty much here by myself. The older I get, the more I would like to keep my private life private. ~smile~ private but not nonexistent

so. I think that my all business, perfectly appropriate resume shot is not attractive to prospective online whatevers. Any creative ideas about how to get a picture to post to move this process forward? What would you do?

Home from work, tired, sipping absolut, and thinking about life and the direction I would like it to take.

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kayjones

Do you have any family, any church friends, ever go to the park on nice days? Heck, just take your camera to the grocery store and ask someone there to take your picture. Find a person to take the picture, stand in a leaning position next to a tree, and SMILE!

How lucky you are to be isolated - want to trade places with me? LOL

As for where to meet guys, I would suggest joining some local groups or placing an interesting ad in local and nearby newspapers. How about getting a part-time job in a men's clothing or sporting goods store? I don't think online dating is a good thing - too many kooks out there. Of course, this is ONLY my humble opinion, and I am not in a relationship right now, so who am I to suggest how to find datable men?

I prefer to stay out of any relationships at this time in my life. I have no idea how I will feel further down the road of life, but the way you are living sounds quite dreamy to me right now!

    Bookmark   January 12, 2004 at 9:34PM
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walksalone

Hmmm...about the same as me. Except, I am the hermit in the city. LOL... Do you have a big dog that likes cats? My quest for now.
One idea, Glamourshots? or Sears studio. I know so staged. My sister did a picture from Glamourshots, it was great, not for this reason, but it was good.

Otherwise, one person you would feel comfortable enough with. They dont have to know the reason, your mother, sister, brother wants it.

    Bookmark   January 12, 2004 at 10:06PM
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Carrie B

I get my friend Roseanne - who has a digital camera and some skill - to take my picture. As soon you visit me in Philly, I'm sure Roseanne would be happy to do the same for you.

I think kayjones' and walks' advice about just getting anyone (the UPS man is fine) to take your picture is not a bad idea. Neither is Sears. I know I've been asked to take people's picture (OK, often it is a smiling couple or a family, but my point stands) at the zoo or on the beach. So, why not get them to take your picture?

Maybe a camera shop would have a portrait studio, and they might do a better job than Sears. Or what if you went into a camera shop during slow hours, bought a roll of film, and if the cashier (who is likely to have an interest in photography) seems friendly lean over and say "this is a little embarassing, but I was wondering if you'd be willing..." and tell her why you want the picture (or don't). Especially if she's a teen or in her twenties, she will totally love being a co-conspirator in romance.

I also suggest trying to find someone who's willing to take a whole bunch of shots. My friend took about twenty of me, and I'm glad she did, quite a few turned out hideous.

    Bookmark   January 12, 2004 at 11:20PM
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jessiecarole

okay everyone. good points all. I am having trouble on Mondays (and more trouble on Tues when I read what I posted on Mon ~grin~). I will make an effort and let you know what happens. I would love to get a Glamour shot, just out of curiosity, but I think using that for my purposes would be false advertsing.

How are you doing, Walks? I have been thinking about you. Are you really thinking about getting a dog?

When I am in the city, there are art exhibits, bookstores, funky cafes and coffeeshops......when you meet someone in a place that suits your personality, the whole process is easier. I find it difficult to tell people who I am with a profile and a picture.

But I am determined. I will do it!

thanks

jc

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 8:48AM
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jessiecarole

I was looking for a location near me and found this. I love it! This is exactly how I feel.

I am going to get groceries and taking the camera with me. wish me luck.

Here is a link that might be useful: picture this

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 9:41AM
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Carrie B

Good luck, jessie!

I have really found Online dating to be a blast. Even if I never meet my match this way, I've met lots of nice men, had a few good laughs and some good meals. Of course, I've also had angst, but that's life, right?

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 10:46AM
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kayjones

Jessiecarole - the link you provided says it all - thanks for sharing - it gave me my light-hearted minute for today!

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 11:57AM
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walksalone

Jessie, loved the link! ROFL.

My alarm system is in today. Sigh. It to me is still after the fact, but at least my home wont stand open for three hours.

Yes, I want a dog. Its been five years and I do miss their type of companionship. I posted on the 'Pets" forum. Would you look and let me know what you think?

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 4:31PM
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dedtired

Can't you just you the timer on your camera? Set the timer, run around and smile.

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 4:31PM
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jessiecarole

I went into the city. I took the camera with me. Do you all honestly think that you could ask a stranger to take your picture? Not me. At least not today.

I know that this is a very small problem, but to me, it is symbolic of the larger problem of how isolated I have become. It is less about dating and more about having some sort of normal life again.

thanks for your support. Still waiting to hear if you are really getting a dog, Walks.

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 4:34PM
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jessiecarole

Glad you got your alarm. I will look at your post on the pet forum.

~laughing~ dedtired (love your name!) I don't have that much camera.

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 4:41PM
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walksalone

I dont know how large company you work for. I would feel okay with a few people, there. My mug shot is on the company website.

Otherwise, my neices, neighbors, or my own mother would do the deed. Or I will meet you between here and there!

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 6:58PM
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jessiecarole

~laughing~ We may be kin. My Oklahoma grandmother was the youngest of seven girls and my mama always said she was cousin to most of the state. I am the youngest of a family that is mostly gone.

I am self employed. I have worked as a nurse/housekeeper for the last twenty years. I make a good living and travel between jobs, but circumstances have narrowed my social contacts and, periodically, I attempt to do better.

My older dog piggie is blind from birth. and I have made a choice to live here as long as she lives. She is fine. I am aging in dog years ~grin~

I am working a 48 hour weekend for a healthy 95 year old lady which leaves me too much time home alone during the week. Thinking too much always gets me in to trouble. I have an extra day of work this week for another family and I may take the camera along.

you all are nice people. This is not something I talk about. I think most people assume (if they think about it at all) that I have a life.

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 7:31PM
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kayjones

It sounds to me as if you have a delightful life - one I would adore! If you don't like your life, MAKE SOME changes.

Have you thought of sharing your home with someone - male OR female - young OR old? Have you thought of starting a hobby and selling the items you create? One thing that would possibly isolate you even more, but could prove both fun and profitable, is to sell your handicrafts on EBay.

How about starting a little back yard nursery, where people would come and buy plants from you? Growing plants or a truck garden is some of the best therapy ever known. One can't be lonely when admiring something s/he has lovingly tended, and seeing the results.

You wouldn't be lonely for long if you would look at ways to include people in your life without actually changing your life.

These thoughts are just that - my thoughts - possibly not worth a lot, but meant in the kindest way.

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 9:46PM
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jessiecarole

platitudes

and I do not believe I ever claimed to be lonely. I most surely gave that impression, but that is not the crux of the problem.

and ~smile~ making some changes in my life was the impetus for this thread. I would try to answer other points, but if I read your post again, I may get rude. ~laughing~ then I would feel rotten tomorrow.

    Bookmark   January 13, 2004 at 10:14PM
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jessiecarole

I know you were trying to be helpful Kay.

Thank you all for your good advice

jc

    Bookmark   January 16, 2004 at 3:31PM
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