Cause for hope - and more

DaisyduckworthJanuary 18, 2004

Jessiecarole inspired me to start this thread. I really don't want her to feel she's a forum-killer!

Like many others, I haven't had much to tell on this forum, but maybe I'll have something interesting before too long. It's in the lap of the gods, of course, but there's hope for me yet. A friend of mine and her SO are working hard to arrange a meeting between me and a Potential Significant Other (PSO) in the near future.

He reportedly is interested, I'm interested, so it's a start. Trouble is, that some of the information relayed by our mediators hasn't been all that accurate. The PSO was told, for instance, that I'm 15 years younger than I really am (very nice from my point of view, but definitely misleading from his!), so maybe his interest will cool, since I've ordered that the record be set straight before we go even a step further!

On a slightly more serious front, I'm told he's a regular church-goer, whereas I'm a born-again heathen. I'm sure this won't be a problem for me, as long as he's not one of those close-minded, obsessed, fanatical, sermonising, try-to-convert types. But is a difference in religious beliefs any more deleterious to a relationship than, say, a difference in hobbies, taste in TV programs and so forth? I mean, even though my values are not based on any religion, I'm sure they are just as good as I hope his are. By way of illustration, I've known a lot of deeply religious people who are really decent people, but I've also known a lot who cheat on their partners, are the devil incarnate as bosses, who've 'tossed out their pregnant daughters into the snow' and so on. Whereas although I have no religious beliefs as such, I do try to Do The Right Thing by others. What do you think? Is this difference likely to be or become an issue?

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Carrie B

Hmmm. Possible romantic intrigue in the works for you. Fun and nerve-wracking!

With your friends', uhm, bending of the truth about your age, I'm wondering what else they said about each of you to embelish the truth. It must be hard to know if you are truly interested if you can't be certain of all the facts. I would suggest that the two of you talk on the phone, and/or (preferably "and") exchange a few emails before meeting, that way you'll have the opportunity to lay out some facts prior to the inevitably awkward face-to-face meeting.

As far as the religion thing, well, it all depends. Some couples do well despite very different religious (or political, etc) beliefs, while others won't consider dating anyone who does not have very similar beliefs to their own. This is one of those things that you want to be up front about from the beginning. Do you know if your friends have shared your lack of religious conviction with him? It might be a good idea for them to mention it in advance of arranging a meeting.

Good luck to you, I'm looking forward to updates!

    Bookmark   January 18, 2004 at 9:53AM
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chargreen

How exciting ! When is the potential meeting of the PSO? I wouldn't get too worked up over anything until you meet. You seem to know what you are comfortable with on the issue of religion. You will just have to see what his views are on the subject. If it's right you will work it out together!

    Bookmark   January 18, 2004 at 10:20AM
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Tinmantu

Hi Daisy!....I hope that this works out for you....I can relate a bit to the religious differences from my own experience a few years back.....I dated a woman that was very into religion and was aware that I had my own ideas about organized religion....it was never an issue because it was all up front from the start and would have never went any further if either of us had a problem with it.

The reason it didn't work out had nothing to do with that issue, it was just a matter of having different ideas on the direction we were headed in other areas.

Good luck to you...keep us informed!

    Bookmark   January 18, 2004 at 1:00PM
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Daisyduckworth

Cancel the PSO! He dropped a bombshell at his place of work today, announcing that he had purchased property several hundred kilometres away, and would be moving there this weekend!! Aside from the potential romantic issues, I can report that his employers are less than impressed. Obviously not a man in possession of large quantities of integrity, so I'm not even slightly disappointed. I'm not even going to start looking around again - my friends said they would do that for me!

    Bookmark   January 19, 2004 at 4:40AM
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jessiecarole

well Daisy, I have killed threads and forums and made men cross the street to avoid me.......but I have never inspired one move "several hundred kilometers away". Oh I bet the 15 year thing scared him silly. (Delightful! but will it kill me?) ....wait, wait! there was a guy that came around pretty regular who married someone else in what he thought was the middle of our relationship. Sadly, I had to tell him that it was not the middle, but the end.

If I had been here, I would have advised you to get real excited at the prospect of a PSO. Sometimes that is the only exciting part of the experience.

I wonder if he really moved or is just home in his underwear with the shades down, not answering the phone.

Dear woman. There has to be someone out there for you....someone with a single brother in the states maybe ~smile~

jc

    Bookmark   January 19, 2004 at 11:58AM
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Tinmantu

Sounds like things worked out for the best, Daisy....I've found that the best opportunities arise when you aren't looking....matchmaking friends do come thru for you now and then

    Bookmark   January 19, 2004 at 4:23PM
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Daisyduckworth

LOL jessiecarole! I've had people travel for DAYS to see me, but never before has anyone travelled days to avoid me! Seriously, this guy is definitely moving, and what is so annoying about it is that he obviously had it all planned well before he had even heard of me. Conveyancing takes a little longer than 5 minutes, you know! His announcement constituted giving his notice at his place of work, so it really is up and go for him! If he'd wanted to keep his resignation a secret, all he had to do when my friend first approached him about me was to say 'not interested', and that would have been fair play all round. I think he was being downright dishonest in saying he was definitely interested, agreeing to meet me etc, then dropping this clanger. I think this is definitely a case of 'good riddance'.

But I must say it's comforting to know that I have friends who think I'm worth something to somebody out there! Who else do you know who can rejuvenate by 15 years, then age 15 years, all within a week, huh? Proves I'm flexible, if nothing else! No denying it, I'm long in the tooth, but SOMEBODY thinks I look heaps younger, bless him! You know, I think my friends are considerably more disappointed than I am about this. I'm more amused than anything else.

    Bookmark   January 19, 2004 at 5:22PM
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