New School problems for 11 year old

lss101September 20, 2007

I have 3 children ages 7,9, and 11. We transferred our children to a new smaller school this year. We thought that the smaller school size would be beneficial for our children. The 7 year old boy and 9 year old girl are adjusting well. Our 11 year old girl isn't doing as well. She has just 8 girls in her class and unfortunately many of them have strong personalities and have bullying tendencies. My daughter has made one friend, but other than that she feels left out allot. She cries at night and wants to go back to her old school. She is shy and sensitive and very sweet. I hate to see her so unhappy. I am ready to just transfer her back to her old school. Her father wants to wait and try and work through this. Her teacher and counselor at school have been supportive also. I have tended to coddle her in the past and try to help (maybe too much) because she has low self esteem. I just don't know what the right thing to do is. I love my girl so much and hate to see her unhappy.

Thanks for your help!

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I'm not going to even try to give you advice on what to do. That is something you will need to figure out on your own. One can't know all of the details you didn't mention. But, I feel from your quest for help that you love your daughter so much and you may feel you do too much for her...(I, too have been guilty of that). I think, perhaps, the real problem may be her low self esteem. I know that I would want to transfer my daughter back....just like you....but, would that solve the underlying problem of lack of self esteem? Think about it and good luck with you difficult decision.

    Bookmark   September 22, 2007 at 11:03PM
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11 is a really tough age to change schools. Why did you move them (other than the new school is smaller?) I imagine you had a really good reason to do it.

Are there any after school activities at this school? My daughter had to change schools after kindergarten because her school closed -- she joined Brownies at her new school in the first grade. It was the best thing -- she met tons of first grade girls including ones not in her class. It really helped with going into second grade this year.

    Bookmark   September 22, 2007 at 11:09PM
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Recently heard this question asked on the Dr. Laura radio program. She said to invite all the girls over to your home and let them get to know your daughter. You can plan a craft that girls their age would enjoy and some refreshments. Also something to get them laughing like telling jokes from a book (or any other ideas you have). This will make everyone more comfortable and your daughter will feel better and start new friendships. Like to know how it turns out.

    Bookmark   November 3, 2007 at 8:59PM
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