can't make open house

Momma_Bird_OHSeptember 24, 2002

I will be out of town for work the week of my DS' school open house. One DS is in 2nd grade, the other in K. I know both teachers well and am on PTA. But I can't get over feeling guilty for missing open house, especially for the DS in kindergarten. I keep thinking the teachers will think I don't care. I am attending a conference and can't get a refund of the $600 registration fee or I'd just stay home.

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Are you married? Can dh go? If not, I would let the teachers know in advance. I never found the open houses very informative.


    Bookmark   September 24, 2002 at 2:14PM
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Let the teachers know in advance that you won't be there & why. If you've already met them, you won't miss anything by going to open house, anyway. You have to realize that the first time a lot of parents meet the teachers is at open house! It's not a time for conferences - it's just a "Hi, you have a wonderful child" event.

If your DH can go, have him do so. If not, don't sweat it.

    Bookmark   September 24, 2002 at 4:02PM
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I asked DH and he agreed to go, but I'm nervous about that - we have 3 boys, 2nd grade, kindergarten & 2 y.o. and they can be a handfull, especially 3 to 1. I'm more upset for the boys - I remember being in grade school, and working so hard on projects to show my parents at open house, and being so proud to show off my parents at the open house. I vividly remember 2nd grade open house. I just hope DSs don't vividly remember their open house as the one without mom.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2002 at 9:19AM
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I'm sure when I was in grade school we had open houses, but I don't remember them at all. I don't think your boys will be too upset by your not being there. Play up the "guys night out" bit rather than "I am so sorry I won't be there" and the boys will be just fine. It would be nice if you could find a sitter for the 2 year old. But I suspect your DH is capable of handling all three of his kids. You don't suppose he worries about you when you plan to take all three out somewhere do you?

    Bookmark   September 25, 2002 at 9:48AM
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I love the stuff that the kids make and leave for the parents at open house/back to school night. Why don't you make something special (a special note) for the 2nd grader and kindergartner and see if you can leave it in their class as a surprise for them!

    Bookmark   September 25, 2002 at 10:43AM
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That note things is a good idea. When DS was in 1st his teacher had us leave a note at open house (a no-kids thing at that school) for our child to read the next day. I don't know if DS remembers anything he made for that night, but he remember the note (It started an inside thing of me telling him "may the force be with you" whenever he has to do something challenging). You could even just give it to DH to give the boys that night.

Really, they'll probably be just fine, harder on you than on them no doubt. But if you want to make sure they remember something good about the night and not bad, make something good happen. Like the note, the guys night, how cool for dad to go with you (not as many dads go to those things, that will probably make your kids feel very special).

I know the feeling though, DH offered to go the parents' night at DSs schools a couple weeks ago so I wouldnt' have to take the baby (breastfed, ya know, he goes where I go for now), he thought it would be easier for me. But I just couldn't stand the thought of not being there myself. I might miss something! So I really think this is harder on you than on them. You're a great mom, don't beat yourself up!

    Bookmark   September 25, 2002 at 4:57PM
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I would send a note to the teacher and explain you are so sorry to miss, why you will miss, and how disappointed you and your husband are as well as your child. I'd also suggest that you make an appointment to touch base with the teacher before or after school soon, especially if you do not have fall parent confeerences. Don't beat yourself up over this. You sound like a great mom. Be sure your chold understands the difficulty.

When my kids were in elementary school, atBack to School Night, we parents often left a nice note in their desk for a surprise the next day at school. Sometimes we would include a special eraser or pencil, something small. Why not have your husband slip a note from both of you into the desk or cubby of each child? The note usually said someting about what a wonderful teacher they have, or what wonderful things they were going to study that year or how nice their desk is neatly arranged or what nice work they have on the bulletin board on in their file.

    Bookmark   September 26, 2002 at 5:51PM
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