False signs

lawn_manAugust 2, 2002

My 2 1/2 year old is delayed in speach and we have him in early intervention as well as a private speach therapist. She claims he is moving along great and he points to things when asked and sleeps fine, has a great attention span and is easily taken out of a routine, great eye contact. He doesn't drink out of a sippie cup yet but we are working on that. He will go and get a toy I ask for or show a picture to him of a toy and he runs and grabs it and has no problem with letting people hold him. The problem is one family member keeps insisting something is wrong since he playes by himself if no one is playing with him and sometimes seams like he is in his own world but he easily snaps out of it. Our Pediatrion as well as our speach therapist doen't see a need for a Nuero exam, or at least not yet but after seeing ABC do a special on autisam I don't know what to believe. With the doctor and speach therapist saying really its a language delay and we are doing all we can and that he is makeing progress I feal good but when that certain family member keeps saying something is wrong I do get a paranoid fealing. I have heard from the doctor that at that age a test may come up with a false positive so we would be better off waiting a little more, at least until he is 3. What should I do ?

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I would listen to your physician. As a father of 5 year old twin boys, I saw both of my sons engage in different styles of play when they were your child's age. One was more willing to play by himself, the other was more social. Both are doing well now.

As for the speech delay, Einstein didn't talk until he was four. I think his first words were something like, would you please pass the salt? It sounds like your child is getting lots of professional attention. If you want another opinion, get it from a professional. Ignore the family member. Good luck!

    Bookmark   August 3, 2002 at 2:28PM
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Rely on the professionals. If you would be more comfortable with a 2nd opinion, ask your doctor to refer you to someone else for one.

    Bookmark   August 3, 2002 at 8:15PM
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I'd listen to the professionals & tune the family member out.

    Bookmark   August 4, 2002 at 12:07AM
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It's always so hard when family members get "involved" in sensitive issues! I feel for you....I also agree with the posts, the professional is who you should count on for your son. If you feel the need for a second opinion then DO IT!! But try to let family members "advice" go in one ear and out the other when you feel you know what's best. GREAT LUCK!!:) Take care too!!

    Bookmark   August 4, 2002 at 2:31AM
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I agree with the other posts. If your sons DR's. are not really that concerned right now. Go with that. Unless...YOU somehow feel that you should take your son for more tests. I have 7 children. One is grown-up and moved out now. So, I have six kids in the house. They are all different from each other. My youngest are the twins, they are 3yrs old. One of the twins has cerebral palsy. My 12 yr old is gifted. My 14 yr old has ADD. My 4 yr old is getting tested this year for being gifted. My point is...with all these children, they were all brought up in the same manner. But, they do not act the same way. One may be very quiet and shy, while the other is not. My 4 yr old loves to play with others but does not like to play by herself. My 3 yr old however, will play in her playroom for hours all by herself. As for your son not talking at 2 1/2. That is not so bad. Playing by himself is fine. I dont believe that is considered being a problem. From what you wrote he seems VERY smart. He can follow directions. He recognizes shapes and toys. Dont let someone else make you think something is wrong with your son. If you dont feel that way,tell that family member to please stop talking like there is something wrong. Tell them you have it handled.

    Bookmark   August 4, 2002 at 10:00AM
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Don't EVEN get me started on well-intentioned family members meddling between you and your doctor and your gut instincts. He's YOUR KID. Please read other threads on the same subject below. Good tips.

BTW, are you by any chance raising your child bilingual? Two languages spoken in the house can also lead to delayed verbalizing, but boy, when they do start talking, they know an amazing amount of words.

The child will most likely start speaking like gangbusters very soon; just enjoying listening at the moment, I suppose.

Here are links to several threads on this subject:
not talking yet 20 month old


A little light humor on the subject LOL

Walking and Talking

What toys encourage talking?

    Bookmark   August 5, 2002 at 8:09AM
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lawn_man - I would trust the speech therapist's opinion more than anyone's, even the doctor. I have an 8 y.o. son with Sensory Integration Dysfunction. He didn't talk until 3, then talked very slow and labored. The doctor kept saying "kids develop at different rates, he's fine." We took him to a private speech therapist at age 5. She's the one who agreed that something was not quite right and was able to get us referrals to specialists to get his disorder diagnosed and get the therapy he needs.

Speech therapists see kids with a wide range of disorders, from speech delay to autism and everything else in between. Pediatricians see mostly healthy kids for checkups and a few kids who need more help. The dr is used to seeing 90% "normal" kids, but the speech therapist sees 90% "needing help" kids. If the speech therapist thinks your son has merely speech delay, then don't worry.

Also, at 2 1/2 there is little that can be conclusively tested. It's not until 3, 4 or even 5 that kids even out to a more "standard" development rate. At 2 1/2 the "normal" range is very wide. Just relax and enjoy your son for another year or two, then if you still have concerns, ask the speech therapist for her recommendations.

Best of luck and God bless you and your DS!

    Bookmark   August 5, 2002 at 10:04AM
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Someone just posted this bit of wry humor over on the KT and it made me think of you!!!

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to
walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to
sit down and shut up.

    Bookmark   August 6, 2002 at 3:20PM
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