I have a link for Spanking

FlowergirlDeb2May 22, 2002

Here's a website for anyone interested.

Here is a link that might be useful: Never Hit a Child Site

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Arkansasgardenboy

Welcome to the real world. You must be from another planet. What a Joke..... I could say a lot but God would not be pleased. I hope your chilren will know how to protect themselves. I guess this guy would not every play any kind of contact sport. Get Real. We play football, basketball, and we compete. Go Razorbacks.....We can find our backsides with both hands....

    Bookmark   May 23, 2002 at 1:02AM
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trekaren

I'm sure that I kind of agree with the author's point, but he is taking it to the extreme a bit. The book he wrote is titled, "Beating the Devil Out of Them: Corporal Punishment in American Families".

In our ongoing discussions here about spanking, I assume we are talking about a swat on the behind, not a beating.

Anytime one of these web essay authors takes the argument from reality to the extreme, their message can tend to get lost.

    Bookmark   May 23, 2002 at 8:49AM
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Mommabear

Because it references a more scientific study and not just someone's unsubstantiated opinion. The author is the same, but the reference is toward a formal study. I didn't order the full study so I can't comment on the study itself.

I don't hit my kids but I hate to see someone's opinion put forth as support for someone else's opinion. Look at the reasearch and make up your own mind.

Arkansasgardenboy:

G@d gave me a brain that is capable of independent thought. I doubt that he intends me to follow what others tell me to do. He intends for me to use my own brain and make the choices that make sense to me. It makes sense to me that hitting a defensless person is wrong. I respect the wishes of others to do what they think it right when raising their own children. I respectfully request that you just stop telling people what they should be doing at home. If they ask, fine then they want your opinion, but if not just leave them alone.

Mommabear

Here is a link that might be useful: Abstract of Straus study

    Bookmark   May 23, 2002 at 11:14AM
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Arkansasgardenboy

Mommabear, Obey your own rules.

    Bookmark   May 23, 2002 at 11:21AM
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duckie

I think Mommabear was saying that although she realizes that other people do things differently, she does not appreciate being told how to run her household. I do not believe she was telling anyone how to run their homes. What rule, Arkansasgardenboy, was she not obeying?

    Bookmark   May 23, 2002 at 11:40AM
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Arkansasgardenboy

I have not told you how to run your household. I have tried to point out the reasons for disciplining children in the way I know that worked for me. I get condemned for this stand for it is not the most popular in some people's opinions.
I realized the difference in abuse. There are many types of abuse. In my opinion of the posted article distorts the truth. To me this is abuse in telling an honest story. For example the comment, "it is open season in Arkansas" is a derogatory statement, which may lead someone to think we are beating the "devil" out of kids in Arkansas.
To me we are and have done a good job in discipling children in most homes and schools in Arkansas. I have taught several years in different schools throughout different parts of the state. Othertimes I have had the opportunities to visit in homes and schools and am aware of what is going on around me in many facets. Of course there needs to be improvements in all areas of our lives.
There probably is more abuse of "beatings" of children across our nation than we can account for. To me this is a hugh problem that I wish we could address and do more to prevent it.
You make your choices. I chose to spank my children when they were young. I chose to use all policies and procedures to discipline when I taught school. Nothing could take the place of a good stable home environment. This is what I have emphasized and will continue to do so. If you have that good home learning environment you will be rewarded for it. Where childen are abused, where spouses are abused, where time and opportunities are abused, and proper choices not made, then we all suffer in society. How? You know the answers. Right?

    Bookmark   May 23, 2002 at 12:39PM
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Stephanie_in_TN

It's not your personal choice that is irritating us, Gardenboy. It's the implied assumption in your posts that if a parent does not make the exact same choices you have made they are failing as parents. That if the Bible is not strictly adhered to, the result is an immoral child. Or if a parent does not spank their children, there is no discipline at all. You post your opinions as if we are a group of uninformed parents who sought you out because our methods are failing, desperately seeking your guidance to straighten out our unruly children. That is not the case. We are neither desperate or uninformed and our children are not unruly. Most of the problems I've seen parents ask about here would certainly not be solved by a spanking.

It's like you are on a mission to persuade parents to spank their children. Do you really believe that a parent cannot possibly raise moral, well-behaved children without spanking them? I would hope that what you really want is disciplined children, even if that doesn't come from spanking. Your dedication to convert us to spanking parents is, frankly, a little creepy. It's not so much WHAT you say as HOW you say it. Maybe your judgemental tone is not intential, but it sure is consistent.

    Bookmark   May 23, 2002 at 1:00PM
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FlowergirlDeb2

Ok, Gardenboy, YOU GUESSED IT, figured me out you did!! From another planet, that's ME!
I think that I probably should have said exactally what mommabear and Stephanie said on their post, "It's the implied assumption in your posts that if a parent does not make the exact same choices you have made they are failing as parents." (Stephanie) I suppose that when it comes to kids, especially my own, I can't help but get offended and worked up when someone is trying to TELL me that "Hitting" is a GOOD way to teach a child....I do not believe that this is the best way to teach children. And there ARE a NUMBER of GREAT PARENTS (myself included) who do not live our lives as the Bible says we should, which doesn't mean that we are AWFUL parents or that we are teaching our children WRONG.
I have another link that I found a certain part of pretty interesting and to make valid points about being against spanking.
Gardenboy, you should respect those of us parents who choose not to use any form of hitting as discipline, as a matter of fact, I think that we should be ADMIRED GREATLY!

Here is a link that might be useful: Spanking

    Bookmark   May 24, 2002 at 1:09AM
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FlowergirlDeb2

Here's another link that I wanted to share.

Here is a link that might be useful: No spanking

    Bookmark   May 24, 2002 at 1:16AM
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trekaren

Deb,
Good point, and KUDOS to all who have managed to rear children without spanking.

Having gone down the non-spanking road, I can tell you that it isn't easy. It takes mental planning ahead, having discipline strategies ready. It takes perseverence and a lot of love! It takes Mom and Dad being completely on the same page where discipline strategies come in. It takes surrounding your child with playmates whose parents generally have the same values as your family does. (note - not necessarily same religion, just same values). It takes work and a lot of love!

My child is not a brat. She goes anywhere with me without a problem (stores, theater, entertainment venues, boring homeowners association meetings, and even the car show). And we take her to church and for her whole life, she has attended service, and not gone to the nursery. She knows she is loved by Mom and Dad, and this shows in her behavior. By the same token, she knows where the line in the sand is, and that crossing the line has consequences.

At different ages, and for different offenses, this has meant different strategies. So probably spanking would have been EASIER than what we have done.

And lest I be accused of being judgmental, I say that if spanking is the route you choose, that is your prerogative.

And those who have chosen the 'road less traveled' and don't use spanking as one of their discipline tools, deserve commendation for their success, because it is definitely not the easy route.

    Bookmark   May 24, 2002 at 9:04AM
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lisa_zi

I personally have nothing against spanking my kids if I feel it's necessary........but guess what, it hasn't become necessary yet. And as they get older I just don't see it being an option anymore.

    Bookmark   May 25, 2002 at 6:51PM
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FlowergirlDeb2

I agree Karen that it does take patience...often times it's MUCH easier to just react rather than think, especially when the kiddies pick the "PERFECT" times to have some kind of meltdown or talk back, but I think that it's worth the hard work. My husband and I were just talking about spanking tonight, he used to get the belt when his dad came home for punishment, I was MAYBE actually spanked a handful of times, and we BOTH agree that spanking is not for us as parents.
My boys aren't "brats" either, I think that we do a pretty dang good job with our no spanking policy, and I don't believe that if a parent chooses NOT to spank that the risks of raising a BRAT increase....there's just too much other aspects involved. :)

    Bookmark   May 27, 2002 at 1:57AM
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