As a child who had been raised with a few well-timed, well-chosen spankings, I scoffed at the new time-out-type discipline that was making the rounds in the 90's version of childrearing.
I said that my child would be spanked as needed and that would be fine.
Now that she's 4, I can tell you I use a variety of disciplines with DD, and spanking is not included. And it's working. She is not a brat - she is well-behaved. I can take her anywhere and count on her to behave, no matter the circumstance.
When she was very young and unknowing, a quick slap on the hand was used when she was about to touch a hot stove or stick metal into an electric socket, but has been limited to potentially injurious activities like these mentioned.
Just my personal experience.
I'm sorta like TREKaren--I entered into parenting figuring that a spanking was one of the options I might use, though I wanted to avoid it when it wasn't necessary. Unlike her, I have used it--but I can count the times I've used it on one hand.
Other methods work quite well, and I just haven't needed it, for the most part.
The parenting columnist for McCall's magazine once wrote an article explaining his opposition to spanking: It didn't center on whether it was abuse or not. He said that, in his experience as a child psychologist, he had realized that parents who relied on spanking DIDN'T use other methods--they were a one-note song. And using a single method of discipline is ineffective. Kids change, their reactions change, etc., and you need to be light on your feet. Time outs work, then they don't, then they do again but differently. Taking toys away doesn't work, then it does, then you have to take them way for longer, then forever, and then it doesn't work. An angry frown works, then it doesn't, then it does again.
It is my opinion that any form of hitting is NOT a constructive way to TEACH children life lessons. Spanking reinforces aggressive behavior, and ultimately any form of hitting in the punishment sense is about "WHO HAS THE POWER."
Gardenboy, you truly believe that physically hurting a child is the way to teach???? Putting FEAR into children in order to show them right and wrong, that's the way it should be done??
And "IT WORKS??" Well, hell, if I were scared I was going to be slapped again I would probably stop doing whatever it was I did also, BUT...WHAT DOES THAT TEACH ME???? Do children really LEARN just because they get hit?? Think about it, with none of that "spare the rod" junk.
Deb, for someone like me, and I assume, like you, who was not spanked growing up, it does seem weird and barbaric. But when spanking is done by a loving parent, I don't think it has a bad effect on the child. I know people who were spanked (or whipped) and feel really weird when they hear others talk about how it is abuse or is wrong. Because it didn't seem like abuse to them.
The people I know who were whipped as children were not any better behaved than other children, though.
That doesn't mean that it is the only or the best way to discipline. I could never hit a child, that is for sure.
About the bible quote "spare the rod and spoil the child..." they are not talking about hitting a child with a rod. They are talking about shepherds, who use a rod to guide the sheep. They don't hit the sheep. They are just talking about providing guidance.
At least that is how I had it explained to me.
Anita, I sure like that explanation better than the alternative. But we all know there are plenty of parents who interpret that line as a divine blessing to regularly hit their children as punishment.
I'm sure it works for some parents. I could not administer a spanking with complete confidence that I was doing the right thing. As long as there is that doubt in a parent's mind about any discipline action, it would probably not work. I couldn't help but feel hypocritical when I say to my kids "You can't hit to get what you want, use your words" if I used spanking to get the behavior I want from them. I cannot imagine doling out a spanking to one of my kids with "love" being the primary feeling at the moment. Disappointment, anger, frustration, I can imagine. I just cannot, in my mind, think of spanking as an expression of love or concern. Spanking would not work for me, the conviction is not in me.
It's just such a fine line between spanking and beating. For a parent with a history of abuse, it's probably best not to use spanking so that line doesn't get crossed. Like an alcoholic shouldn't take the first drink.
A generalized statement claiming that spanking works is naive. A more true generalization would be "Spanking, there is probably a better way."
Why the passion for spanking children at home and paddling them at school? It's starting to give me the creeps.
I have never heard that interpretation about "Spare the rod and spoil the child" to imply sheep. It says "Child" not "Lamb". I am not taking a stand on the spanking issue right here BUT the Bible verse is indeed talking about a child. Maybe you are thinking of the story about the Lost Lamb??? And how that interpreted as symbolic to a lost child or lost person.
I have heard many people that are pastors and even those that are college professor visiting churches quote that verse and It does not mean sheep or lamb. As I said before I am not taking a stand here on spanking, if it is right or wrong. I am just saying whomever told you that the verse was talking about a sheep is very mistaken.
Now if "Kid" were inserted in the Bible verse instead of "Child" then you could interpret that to mean Baby Goat :o)
It is an allegory. It is talking about children but the rod is a reference to a shepherd's rod, sybolic of guidance.
Oh, I looked and here is something that explains it. This is from a domestic violence prevention site, and my mom is the one who explained this to me, and she is a children's social worker (working with families who abuse and neglect their children), so maybe this is just the standard social worker interpretation. I doubt it works very well on child abusers. They are not very reasonable people.
Anyway I am not a christian and I rarely read the bible, so I am not trying to say that I know what I am talking about. This interpretation makes more sense to me though.
Here is a link that might be useful: rod of guidance
You may find the following of interest. http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin3.htm
Here is a link that might be useful: http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin3.htm
I think to have an argument "pro-spanking" and "anti-spanking", turns me off from the get-go.
People should be discussing "pro-child" instead. But that's just semantics.
The 'anti-spanking' section offers some good opinions. And oddly, the section on 'pro-spanking' on Solomon sounds almost "anti" to me.
Why do you post the link to the pro-spanking site and not the anti-spanking site?
Gardenboy, I think that you should request a seperate Religious forum for all of your posts...I for one am tired of reading your "bible" quotes about raising children. Hitting a child makes no sense to me, loved your "Raising a Brat" deal too, it's one thing to share your opinion about school related subjects and to defend your personal opinion, but you are dragging Religion into this and I don't think that it's appropriate.
I was raised in a Christian home and I know I have a lot of advantages many do not have because many choose to not to know Christ and His Word. This is where I feel bad. No one makes you accept Him. It is your decision. I plan to continue to serve Christ. The choice could be yours. It just pays to serve Christ. May God Bless.
I just feel that you are bringing religion into this forum where it doesn't belong, and in my opinion you are taking a "PREACHER" approach to the subjects you bring up, and I do believe that you post just to PREACH.
No, I do not. Sorry you feel that way.
flowergirldeb2, I am curious to know whether you have had any children. My son is 2, a smart and for the best part behaved child. As a boy, he can be pretty rough at times,I give him a chance verbally to cool his jets and settle down. If he doesn't obey I put him in time-out. Does that always work-no. If you have ever had a busted mouth from your child headbutting you because he refused to obey you asking him to sit still...you would understand that sometimes a swat on their butt is needed to get their attention. I'm not talking beating. My son apologized and asked to kiss my boo boo that he gave me...while he was sitting in time out. He felt bad and understood because I verbally told him why it was wrong what he did. As a full time mother of an active 100% boy, there have been times where you just need to put him in his room for 5 minutes so you can both cool off. I can count on 1 hand the times I was spanked. He plays aggressively and you have to stay on your toes. I refuse to let my child back talk me and end up like a lot of the teenagers nowdays. If a spank here and there gets the point across...great. I am his mom-my rules go...parents need to be consistent. I don't see the need to spank more than one time...you've got their attention...you hope. Are there any parents out there with strong willed confident children who feel the same?
"a lot of the teenagers nowdays" WERE spanked. Spank if you want to, but don't imply that not doing things the way that you do them will result in disaster. I know people who were spanked and people who were not spanked, and there is no difference in the way they acted as teenagers. None. The two most lazy, rude and disrespectful teenagers I know were raised in a very loving but old-fashioned, southern, sir-and-ma'am-saying, spanking family.
YES, I have two children...both are BOYS. PLEASE Don't try to tell me that just because a child is born male that he is automatically "rough", because socialization is responsible for that, not biological sex. Of course as a parent I have had behavior problems with my kids, but I just do not believe that spanking, swatting, hitting, whatever, is a healthy, constructive way to discipline or teach a child anything.
It's my personal opinion, I was probably "spanked" as a child myself a handful of times, and I cannot recall a specific incident to share here, which to ME is a good thing. I believe that using anything that requires physical pain is not the way to teach or discipline a child. It certainly might STOP the undesired behavior, but ultimately WHAT is the message??? Can anyone shed some light on that?
I have tried.
Please...I am Not implying that other methods don't work and that all children (boys) are "rough". I do not condone abuse and do not rely on spanking to disipline, I use a lot of non-threatening methods. And I am definitely not telling you as Parents how to raise your child. As a stay at home mom, I do most of the disciplining because his father travels. Children test you, not all things work at all times as Talley Sue NYC said above. I do agree that no matter how right we feel we are doing by our children, that as teenagers can still be out of control. We just have to be there for them...with good communication and do the best we can. His father's feeling was that if he were spanked (in different terms) more as a child, maybe he wouldn't have done some of the bad things he did. He has a loving, close knit family. I don't know. His brother and he both were quite head strong as youngsters. They gave their mom plenty of heartache...and she is a social worker/teacher. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I apologize if I came across wrong. I also agree that Arkansasgardenboy should find some where else to voice religion...all he has done here is opened up a can of worms.
Thanks for agreeing with me about the preaching stuff...I just think that religion is too personal of a subject, not to mention choice to discuss in a forum that is supposed to be relate to school topics, and children topics. NOT that I haven't been entertained by some of the posts gardenboy does, I have also been offended, but I am trying to remain calm regarding that!!! And, gardenboy, I just (quickly I admit) reviewed this post thread, where have you offered the answer to my question about the messages a child recieves by getting HIT as a method of discipline and/or punishment? AND PLEASE, the BIBLE does NOT count as a place where I want the "answers" from. Just give me a few examples of how hitting a child and causing them to be HURT gives them a message that is POSITIVE and loving. Really, I want to know.
Usually spanking would be the last resort. When you have exhausted your methods and the problem still exists, then you need to further discipline. It is with love and concern for the best interest of your child. It shows that you are not going to stand for that kind of behaviour and that you have a deep desire for your child to do the things which in the long run is going to be for his/her best interests. It is out of love for your child.. I rest this case..
I hate to admit it-but that is exactly what I was trying to get across. OK, the words in this thread made me think, I really am going to try the alternate methods more often and try to do away with all that spanking stuff. Even though I didn't do it that often anyway.
I'm sorry gardenboy...but I have to disagree with you, I believe that there are a number of more positive, constructive, and genuinely caring ways to teach and discipline children without raising a hand AT ALL. I will look for an article that is against spanking to post a link so that the people who are interested can read it.
If I take all you say at your word arkansagardenboy, spanking is a last resort discipline.
Soooooooo, what do you do if that doesn't work? And what will you have established as a last resort when they are too old to be spanked?
Look at the beginning of this post. You must not have started at the top. When they are too old to be spanked, God will take care of them. They are on their own then. They are old enough to make their own decisions.
I tend to believe they are too old to be spanked loooong before they're old enough to be on their own. At that point, spanking becomes a humiliation and anyone who humiliates a child will discover that it will ultimately come back to haunt him. A parent has as much control over a teen as the teen will grant him. A good respectful relationship starts at preschool and there is nothing respectful about corporal punishment.
Bottom line? It DOESN'T work...at least not for long.
Why don't people just study the Bible and let that be your guide? There is where it has worked for me. My children are grown. Every child is different and you discipline them accordingly but you still have basic guidelines. I don't believed I mentioned an age to stopped spanking. It works better on the start than when they get older. If you have not used it when they are little you will not be able to use it when they get older. Train up a child when they are young and when they are old they will not depart from it.
When I hear the word "TRAIN" I think of dogs and stuff...not children. Of course if you start hitting kids early it "will work," because they are small and helpless and look to their parents for love and comfort, not pain and fear!!!!!! We TRAIN our pets....we RAISE our children. The Bible isn't where all of the answers are, and if it were then we'd ALL be in trouble! The Bible encourages hitting children as a way of discipline, but in the Bible women are also murdered, so are babies, there is slavery...are these acceptable as well in THIS day just like hitting children??
Are we allowed to discuss the Bible on this forum? I am tired of you trashing the Bible.
You are the one who always brings up the bible gardenboy. I am certain no one would disparage it (or miss the comments) if you didn't bring it up. Since you bring it up, it is fair game.
I don't think we are supposed to talk about it, but unless someone complains I am sure the webmaster doesn't care.
I thought I was your best poster. Are there any men here?
You remain my favorite! I am just saying - you opened the field, you can't complain!!
Yes, and I don't think that my personal opinions regarding the Bible mean that I am "trashing" it. Anita is right though, by using the Bible in the forum and referring to it on subjects that YOU bring up, along with links, I believe that you should respect the good people who disagree with you regarding Bible references. You opened the door gardenboy, so you should do your best to respect what's on the other side.
And, I am correct about the stories in the Bible that contain infantcide, slavery, etc....just making my personal point in regards to my views on spanking. I don't believe in "Spare the Rod," I believe in discipline without physical pain and I believe in treating children with respect, no matter what I don't think that hitting a child is right.
I appreciate your thoughts. You and others have encouraged me to study. You are correct about the stories in the Bible which contain infanticide, slavery, etc. What were the situations in which these things occurred? Who was doing it? Was God pleased? Why was it being done? Was it the right thing to do? What did God do about it? Why? How? When? Where? How long? To whom? Can't we find those answers?
Many times things are taken out of "context" and the truth is distorted. If you and others on this forum would like to discuss the Bible and our beliefs feel free to email me. I love to talk to people who have things in common. Don't we have a love for God, love for our children and love of country and doesn't that include a love for all people?
I understand, from another post, Deb, you have had a busy week of a funeral and a wedding. May I extend my condolences to the family and friends of the one who passed away. May the newlyweds have success and happiness.
May we (you and me) agree to disagree and maybe we will be drawn closer together in communication, understanding and respect.
Thanks again, Deb, may you and yours have a good week-end.
Thank you.....we can of course agree to disagree, otherwise this wouldn't be as educational or FUN!! Thank you to for your kind wishes, take care!! :)
WOW..........That was ALOT of reading to do! I am new here, and certainly do not want to step on any toes. BUT...there was certainly alot of hostility in what I read. My goodness. Where to start? Well, when I was a kid, I would get spanked (if that is what you can call it) with a 2x4, yard stick, or whatever else got my parents fancy. I am grown now with 7, yes 7 children. All are from 19 years, to the twins, whom are 3yrs old now. I do not hit them, will not hit them. EVER! I do believe it is UNacceptable. What would come from that? For instance...lets say,one child is hitting another child. Would you spank that child for hitting and tell them they got a spanking because they were hiting? HUMMMM..I really do not think that "sends the correct message." Do you? What about a child who has been hit for many years as a way of being corrected. What is going to happen to that child when that child is becoming a teenager? Maybe get mad at you because you won't let them go to the movies tonight with their friends,and POP you in the nose. Why not? That is what they have learned all their growing years..to hit when the are mad, just like mom and dad. Just great huh? NOPE NOT. And the cycle continues....Oh,just for info I have 4 girls and 2 boys. Gender makes no difference.:):)
Whoops I mean 5 girls and 2 boys. 6 pregnancys. Sorry. I get lost sometimes!LOL:)
I have learn you are not going to change anyone's opinion on this forum.....I haven't changed mine.....I have all grown children and I could not ask for any better children..No, They are not perfect neither are their parents...They have never hit me nor their mother except when they were playing..I believe the proof is in the pudding....
I don't think that "changing peoples opinions" is what these forums are about. I tried FIGHTING about my stance on Standardized Testing, and only became frustrated because FEW people felt the SAME as me!:)
I agree sevenangels, hitting children DOES NOT send the correct messages about what is right and wrong. And I also fully believe that when hitting is used as punishment or a form of discipline that children become more aggressive, violent, and accept that hurting someone else is the way to solve problems. I also HATE hearing about kids who were hit with OBJECTS when they misbehaved...how sad and sick is that!!??
We're not here to change opinions. We are, collectively, parents who are interested in the well-being of our children. Some posts end up preaching to the choir because we're already on board.
But other discussions, like spanking and standardized testing, open our minds to other sides of the coin. Sometimes, my opinion remains the same, but is tempered by hearing the other side's reasoning.
Sometimes, hearing the other side strengthens my resolve. I didn't realize how strongly I felt about corporal punishment until now. It's a confusing topic. Although I'm not in favor of spanking, sometimes I wonder if there is some time and place where it is an acceptable option. It gets me to thinking. And that is a good thing!
On the testing debate, I have learned a whole lot! And all that debate made me think there is no bottom-line right or wrong answer on testing. It still needs a lot of work in most school systems, that's for sure. But I have gained a lot of knowledge in reading the ongoing debates, and reference material. And I will be an advocate for my DD when the time comes, to ensure that my school system is doing the right thing.
I will be more active in researching who is voted to the school boards, watching board meeting results and minutes in the local paper, etc. So if anything, this forum's debates (discussions) have made me more resolved to be active in my own community. And THAT is a good thing!
I agree, I have definately learned to "chill out" when voicing my own opinions...(well, most of the time!!:) But I learned A LOT about how other parents feel regarding testing, and everything else we discuss here. It helps to have people to "talk" to and even debate with about these and other issues, it makes me think more anyway!:)
You seem to be equating "spanking" with "beating", when you said, "Gardenboy, you truly believe that physically hurting a child is the way to teach???? " They are NOT the same.
Spanking does not have to hurt. If you are spanking to inflict physical pain, then you are doing it wrong.
I'm new to these forums & just read this whole thread. As someone else said "whew!" -- a lot of reading. I also agree with several people that any discussion that sparks us all to think is quite useful.
So, my 2 cents on spanking: It's "simply" not a simple issue, as evidenced by the ongoing debates. It also can not be a simple "to spank or not to spank" question. As others have noted, there is a wide spectrum out there. Consider a scale starting with "non-painful swat on the rear, administered after telling the child that if they don't stop X, they'll get a swat," to the other end, which would be some type of painful contact, with no explanation or warning.
Now on top of THAT, factor in the rest of that child's relationship with the parent. Does the parent spend time with that child, tell them that they love them, read to them, hug them, etc, etc? Or is the parent critical, yelling, no affection, etc, etc?
I would rather be raised by a parent who told me they loved me, were proud of me, had high expectations of me, but understood that we all make mistakes, who hugged me, and who also gave me a very few pre-warned attention-getting swats ... as compared to a parent who shows little caring or cherishing, who put me down or called me stupid, but who happened to never spank me.
I hope that made sense. This is why, to me, this issue can never be "to spank or not." It has to be discussed within the whole parent/child relationship, and that is unique for each of us. I was raised by parents who treated me as I first described (loving, with few well-deserved, but non-painful swats). That's why it's harder for me to relate to the opinion that "spanking is always wrong." My husband & I have 2 kids, ages 9 & 11, who we did spank a few times as preschoolers (in the manner I described above). Other things that got their attention were time outs and temporarily-lost priveleges -- always with an explanation as to why the behavior was not appropriate. I would guess that my kids got maybe 5 spankings each (defined as a "swat-swat" on their clothed rear with my hand) when they were little (under 5-ish). As they get older, lost priveleges become a much bigger deal to them ...
In my opinon, one of my jobs as a mom is to teach my kids correct behavior, and also teach that if they KNOW that something is wrong, and they do it anyway, then there are consequences (which they are also aware of in advance). If the kid knows what is right behavior and why, yet still does the wrong thing, then I believe they should get the consequence that they've been told about. Whether that consequence is a swat, or no dessert tonight, or "OK, then, I told you we'd have to put the toy away if you kept doing ..." whatever.
Administered in this way, I feel that spanking is no more harsh than any other attention-getter, like time-outs or lost priveleges.
In my opinion, spanking can teach "I'm bigger than you, so I can punish you by hurting you" --- if the parent allows that to occur, by leaving out all the other factors (loving relationship, explanations, etc). In the same way, a time-out or a lost privelege could teach, "I'm bigger than you, so I can force you to sit there, or I can take stuff away from you." It's all in the context!
When I was little, I learned that my parents really meant it when they said, "Don't open the door to a stranger," because they loved me & didn't want me to get hurt. (I got my maybe 10th & final spanking for that one, and yes, I do remember it. Not the spanking -- it didn't hurt -- but the concern in my mom's voice, and I remember how bad I felt disappointing her.) I also learned that my parents were pretty darned consistent -- if they said there would be consequences, there were, and I understood why.
My parents weren't perfect, and neither are my husband & me. But I do know that I was loved, and I'm quite certain that my kids do, too, even though we did spank them a few times when they were younger.
Sorry so long! Hope this train of thought sparks more people to think. IMO, as long as our kids know we love them, and know why we set boundaries, and know why there will always be consequences for broken boundaries, then we're doing that part of our parenting job pretty well.
I am happy to live in a country, the Federal Republic of Germnany, that has banned spanking either by federal law or by constitution of my state. Of course I have been spanked by my mom when being a little boy about once a week and more. I always cried the whole day then, not because of the hurting bottom (mom's hits were far too lenient to cause any blessures) but because the humiliations (even if always done on the dressed seat) and the withdrawal of affection. Mom alwasy said it was for my very best and I would be grateful as an adult. As an adult I told her: "Mom, I am not grateful at all for getting spanked, but I fogive you, because you did not know better." As a dad I never spanked my daughter, the only sanction in her live was an exclusion from a tv-broadcast "Tom and Jerry", when she had broken the curfew for 1/2 h; she was 6, and it was getting dark. She is 31 years now and a well educated elementary teacher. Like Debbie337 I am tired of citing the Old Testament with advises for a patriarchal society, who don't fit in a free and democratic system, regarding children with human rights to be respected. Jesus, the apostles, and the evangelists never sanctioned to hurt children. "Six of the best on the bare bottom of a kid" might be tolerated in special chatrooms exchanging the sick fantasies of their members, but they have no place in the real life an in an open society. A slap against a child is a slap into the face of human dignity. This is the contribution of a citizen of a country that has learned her lessons from the past.
Since the OP is using the Bible to justify spanking, I have a few questions for him:
Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. So, I am free to own Mexicans and Canadians, correct?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
Shall I go on? This thread should have been posted on Hot Topics, which is where it belongs.
I have always thought spanking was ok. My mom spanked me and I'm not tramatized over it. Yet,I feel I dont have to spank my daughter. If I so much as give her a hairy eyeball she starts crying and does what she is supposed to.
Here are just a handful of those engaged in trying to raise
awareness of why hitting kids isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics
Center for Effective Discipline
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child
Christians For Non-Violent Parenting
Parenting in Jesus' Footsteps
Behavioral Health Professionals
Global Initiative to End All
Corporal Punishment of Children
Most compelling of all reasons to discontinue this inherited bad habit are the following (which can be verified by people who were actually spanked themselves by doing a little research):
"Even without sexual motives on the part of the punisher, spanking can interfere with a child's normal sexual and psychological development. Because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, slapping them can trigger powerful and involuntary sensations of sexual pleasure. This can happen even in very young children, and even in spite of great, clearly upsetting pain."
Tom Johnson Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
"...The buttocks are the locus for the induction of pain in a child. We are familiar with the argument that it is a safe locusÂ for spanking. However, the anal region is also the major erotic region at precisely the time the child is likely to be beaten there. Thus it is aptly chosen to achieve the result of deranged sexuality in adulthood..." 1971 (p. 113)
David Bakan, Slaughter of the Innocents,1971 (p. 113)
"Advocates of corporal punishment in schools should examine very carefully the weight of evidence now available and, particularly in light of the pornographic component, consider whether they can justify the continuation of a system with such a capacity for exciting unhealthy interest."
British Psychological Society, "Report on Corporal Punishment in Schools" (1980)
"But what you would not so readily believe upon my affirmation, was that there are persons who are stimulated to venery by strokes of rods, and worked up into a flame of lust by blows... A strange instance what a power the force of education has in grafting inveterate ill habits on our morals..."
Johann Heinrich Meibom, physician, 1629
Unpleasant as this information is, we do our children a great disservice when we fail to acknowledge its truth.
Had we not turned a blind eye to the unpleasant phenomena of child sexual abuse 40-50 years ago, many children would have been spared its consequences.
To educate yourself about this issue, you can visit any of a number of links, like www.nospank.net
13 Dont fail to discipline your children. They wont die if you spank them.
14 Physical discipline may well save them from death.
Proverbs 23: 13-14
Please respond however you wish, I really believe this. I see little kids growing up all of the time who are raised just by "love", and they grow up to be the most disrespectful people I have ever seen.
What people understand is that disciplining your child is love. Nobody wants to do it, and if you are at a point where you are mad and you do feel like it, then you shouldn't. It should be reserved and used accordingly, and I do not believe you should use your hand. You do not have to spank them very hard with a wooden spoon at all to leave a brief sting on one of their booty cheeks. I agree, if somebody spanked their kid all of the time directly on their naked butthole with their hand, that might have some affects.
I only spank when I am controlled of my emotions, and I know he needs it, which is not very often. And do you know what, it has worked. He is very respectful, and nice, and polite, and he is only 2 1/2. Yes, a majority of the time, time-out works where he has to face the wall sitting down, because he is not perfect. When he is away with or around other people he is a good kid, which is what is most important. When he is home, he is awesome too, and sometimes acts like he is two.
Spanking is not terrible unless you make it that way.
I was spanked a time or two as a kid by my grandma and I stopped what I was doing real quick.
I am not trying to attack, this is just how I really feel.