Training Children or Raising kids

ArkansasgardenboyMay 28, 2002

Yes, you can train your children and it is proper to say you have if you have. There can be a big difference in rearing children and just raising kids. Yes, children may be referred to as kids. A kid could be someone any age. It could be used like "hey dude". (informal)

Train means to bring up: teach; He trained his sons to respect their parents and teachers. SYN: educate. 2. to make skillful by teaching and practice: to train people as nurses. 3. to discipline and instruct to be useful, be obedient.

You train in sports, various occupational areas and other areas of ones life.

I love the training which comes by setting a "good" or "correct" example. I know of no better way. No I am not a "perfect" example but I know one who is.

Learning is a life long process. It is filled of making choices. Choices carry consequences. I am still becoming of what I am to become by making choices. I continue to read, study, visit, work, pray, participate in many activities. We learn by doing. We make mistakes, we try again. School is the area around us.

I am thankful for the many men and women who are trained in law enforcement, soldiers, fire fighters, rescue personnel,nurses, doctors and many others who risk their own lives to protect and preserve the lives of others. Thanks for the parents and teachers who helped them to get where they are. Each has such vital parts to perform.

How many times does a "child" say he/she wants to become such and such when he/she grows up? Interest change. Why? Could it be dad is this or mom is this or for some similar reason. We are motivated by the world around us. Are we letting it influence us or we influencing it. Yes and no perhaps.

Who has been a "role model" in your life? Has someone really had a real impact in your life? How did they influence you? It does make a difference. The difference it makes can be amazing. Maybe that person or persons is/are still living today. Communicating is a great way of learning. It is really caring and sharing in it "truest sense".

Who has made a great impact in your life? My parents, my wife, my brothers, my children, many pastors, many elderly couples, friends and associates have had a impact on me. Children have had one of the greatest. Where would we be without the children? They are our inspiration, our hope, our future, our love, our dedication, our care, our concern, our own.

May God Bless....

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I always say I am raising adults, not kids. As a gardener, I never say I am growing seedlings. I talk about the end product (corn or tomatoes or sunflowers) not some middle ground point. I also must admit I like the term 'raise' - to cause to rise - seems like such an admirable goal, especially when talking about people.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 12:24PM
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Good point. The intent is that children will not just grow up and still be just kids, but mature individuals. It is correct to say raise, rear or train.
I am gardener. It takes many factors in raising a good crop. We got the rain we were needing. How about yours?

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 12:38PM
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Hey gardenboy, being from Arkansas, and a gardener, I bet you have grown corn before. I am training corn :) for the first time this year; I just sowed it yesterday. I have a question. The packet says to plant three kernels per hole, but it doesn't say, when it comes up, am I to thin it to the best seedling, or can it grow up three to a hole?

It kind of seems like it will be a cooler than usual summer, and our summers in Seattle are always cool - too cool for corn according to some people. My fiancee is from Georgia and when I ask him what he wants from the vegetable garden he says corn and melons. Whatever. I am trying the corn, maybe I'll try melons next year.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 1:18PM
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I think you are raising kids and training them too, goes hand in hand.
Of course my 12th grade English teacher would jump in and say "Your rearing children" ha!! But I feel I have raised, reared and trained my children...raised as you said in rising!! I have a good relationship with them even now that they are grown. I always try to treat them as the adults they are. They treat me with respect and still ask for advice. Which I many times will tell them, not will say "This is my opinion, just my opinion on the matter." As I want them to actually make the decision by themselves, but since they asked I do give opinions.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 1:23PM
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This is just me but...
I took the comment as more than just semantics, but as a way of differentiating between pets and children.

Pets need boundaries, but don't truly need to think for themselves to the degree that children do. So things like a swat with a newspaper, or crating, or leashing work with pets very well. They learn boundaries.

But children need to learn much more than boundaries. Instead of simply just spanking when they approach a stove or try to stick something in an electrical socket (or later on, are tempted by peer pressure for sex/drugs/etc), you have to use techniques that teach more than just boundaries. They must be able to think for themselves because as they get older, the boundaries get grayer and grayer (as does my hair) :-)

Anyway, that is how I took the "training versus raising" comment.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 2:34PM
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I don't see it worth agruing over. Train em, teach em, raise em, all of it is part of good, responsible parenting. Overall, I think of my job as raising my children. But that includes teaching them read and write, ride a bike, or respect those around them. And when it comes to things like manners, there is a degree of training going on. In fact, DH and I joke all the time that we wish we could send them to a 6 week obedience program like you might a dog. We're only kidding!

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 2:34PM
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even if you see differences between "raising," "training," "rearing," "teaching," etc., I still think Stephanie's point is valid.

You do all of them with children. Some at different times, at different ages, with different personalities, for different issues.

I do the human equivalent of swatting my kids w/ a newspaper, crating them, and putting them on a leash. Perhaps not literally (perhaps, sometimes, VERY literally), but CERTAINLY figuratively. I am training them.

I am also teaching them, coaching them, raising them, etc.

And I also

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 4:55PM
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How far apart per hole did you plant your corn? It may need to be thinned. Just need to make sure you get a good stand.
I am reminded of a little saying that the Indians had, "they planted two for the fox, two for the crow, two to rot, and two to grow."
I usually raise corn for the coons, not on purpose, they are just such a problem they will eat it before it will get big enough for us to eat. Therefore, I try to raise it in the backyard. It is about knee-high on me.
You can train beans to run up on a pole as well as other plants.
Notice how plants are drawn to the SUN. Phototropic means bending or turning in response to light. Most plants are phototropic.
You can train plants to be more tolerant to temperature, weather, sunlight, etc. Environment and heredity are the factors involved.

    Bookmark   May 28, 2002 at 8:20PM
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Years ago I saw a Victory Garden show (is that still on??) on gardening in Alaska, where the growing season is only 8 or 9 weeks. They were growing corn, so there must be some variety that will grow quickly! Sorry, I can't remember the variety.

AKGardenboy, I liked your musings.

I also liked what Duckie said - we're raising adults. Too many people these days raise kids - be they 14 or 40, they are still irresponsible kids.

I'm reading a book called "Raising A Responsible Child" right now, all about how to raise an ADULT. Great book, I highly recommend it.

    Bookmark   May 29, 2002 at 2:25PM
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Try planting marigolds in the area where your corn is. The critters usually don't like the smell and stay away from the area. It worked with my tomatoes. Didn't have much trouble with bugs, either.

    Bookmark   May 29, 2002 at 3:36PM
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I actually already did plant marigolds with my corn! I collected a huge bag of marigold seeds last year so I lined all my paths with them. I love the smell, it smells spicy to me. I am right in the middle of Seattle though so I don't have any critters except crows. And today there was a strange cat rolling around in my catnip patch.

I planted the corn three kernels to a hole, one hole per square foot. They are a short season variety - 60 days to harvest but I don't know if that is from germination or transplanting. Did they show the giant cabbages on the Alaska gardening show Momma Bird? I guess the really really long days make their short season pretty productive and the cabbages get like beach balls. Our season in Washington is not that short, we just don't get the intense summer heat that makes some vegetables productive and sweet. Most summer days are mid 70s. Which is pretty nice. I'll trade that for corn. But I might accept some grueling heat in exchange for being able to grow really incredible tomatoes.

    Bookmark   May 29, 2002 at 10:14PM
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I just think that using the word "train" when referring to children sounds bad....and because it's late by me I am simply out of anything else this evening!:) Except that I like how Karen put it in her post...ditto for me.

    Bookmark   May 30, 2002 at 2:34AM
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The emphasis is the end results........Responsible, productive, providential people.

    Bookmark   May 30, 2002 at 8:25AM
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I really do not think there is much of a dfference in the wording we use. Training, raising, pushing, growing, ect...As Arkansasgardenboy wrote " The emphasis is the end result." Some say potato some say potatoe>>> get the jest:)As long as they grow up healthy, strong, caring, helpful, & considerate for themselves and others and on and on....what's the fuss over what we call it? I say call it like you see it. I do think that in the long run we are raising/training/& growing adults. Because someday that is what they will be...adults.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2002 at 6:02PM
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Yes but TRAINING just sounds bad to me!

    Bookmark   June 4, 2002 at 12:09AM
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Flowergirl, I know training sounds kind of bad, but did you potty "train" your children or potty "raise" your children? So, in some instances we are "training" them WHILE we are "raising" them. I think it is all the long as you love them while you do it!! and I bet you do!!!!

    Bookmark   June 4, 2002 at 8:38AM
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I have trained my children to say thank-you, and I have taught them to be considerate. I have trained them to pick up their clothes off the floor (I can dream, right?) and taught them to take care of their belongings.

I didn't train them to be charming, friendly or helpful; I didn't train them to have a good relationship with God.

I tend to associate the word "training" with narrowly defined, specific SKILLS, not attitudes, or ways of behaving, etc. I don't associate it w/ having to use your judgment, or anything negotiable or complex. Some kids need to be trained not to leave their crumped wet towels on the floor, and some just need to be coached, or taught, or reminded.

Mostly it's a matter of semantics, and probably anything could be described as training. But I do think occasionally it pays to pay attention to word choice.

Here's an interesting one I saw people debating the other day; "obey."

Do you tell your children to "obey" you? And why or why not? I usually say "listen to my words," but my kids are little, and it was a good graphic image for them. My folks tended to say "mind"--"mind your mom and dad," but I don't know that it's REALLY any different than "obey." It's just that to some people the word "obey" has come to imply the dog or something. And they think that using the word "obey" here and there for specific situations somehow means that what the parent does at ALL times.

My basic point is, at certain times we do one sort of parenting--training, teaching, coaching, whatever. To use th eterm in one place does NOT mean the parent is so narrow that this is all they can do or think of. Likewise "obey"--I may tell my child "you need to learn to obey me the first time" but that doesn't mean I always demand unthinking compliance w/ my bossy orders. (just some times, LOL!)

    Bookmark   June 4, 2002 at 4:34PM
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Honestly I never liked saying "potty trained" either...:) But I get it, and YES of course I do it all with LOVE, so it doesn't matter what it's called!! :)

    Bookmark   June 4, 2002 at 11:45PM
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    Bookmark   June 5, 2002 at 3:58PM
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