Bully and 5 year old

FlowergirlDeb2January 27, 2003

Hi everyone. My son has been getting harassed by this new boy everyday on the bus lately. I guess this kid says things to my son like "I'm going to get my dad's gun and kill you!" This kid is only in first grade. My question to you all is, actually there's more than one question, would you go to the principal first? Should I go to the child's house, he lives right by us? And how do I discuss this with my son? He gets so angry! I know he's not letting the kids know he's scared, but he is. I don't know this boy, but I don't like what's going on at all! Any advice would be wonderful!!

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I would report it to the principal. The principal should then call the new boys parents and have a conference. In my district, the boy making the statements would be removed from the bus.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2003 at 8:44PM
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Go to the principal. This is a serious threat. In my district, he would be up for serious consequences, including expulsion.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2003 at 1:01AM
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I would discuss it with the school bus driver so he/she can keep an eye on him. You might also suggest that your son be allowed to sit behind the bus driver fow awhile. I would also talk with the child's parents. They may not be aware of their son bullying other children. Keep the lines of communication open on all sides. Personally, if it were me, I would probably ride on the bus a few times myself to make sure everyone is behaving. I think there should be more supervisions on every school bus anyway. Let us know how it goes.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2003 at 10:46AM
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If nothing results from this, scare the bully by having the police talk to him.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2003 at 6:44PM
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I would talk to the parents first. Be as nice as possible to them, but make sure they understand that you contacted them first as a courtesy, and that if the bullying continues, you will speak to the prinicpal next.

At my kids' school, the kids are not allowed to spell or say gun, they are not allowed to point their finger and go "bang bang", draw pictures of guns, or anything of the sort. I am certain that saying "I am going to get a gun and kill you" would result in serious consequences.

Good luck dealing with this problem. Bullying is a serious problem in our schools that is long overdue for attention. Kids should know that school is a safe place. They should know this because safety is a necessary condition for learning, but also because it's only fair to the kids. Too many kids fear going to school because teachers and administrators either don't know what's going on, don't care, or don't know what to do.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2003 at 8:31PM
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Even though the bully is only in 1st grade, I think this warrants a serious response. Saying something like he said is SERIOUS. The parents probably don't know he's going around making these threats. Call them up and try to calmly discuss it, and also ask if their guns are kept locked up. In our city last year, a 2nd grader brought his dad's gun to school. It's not unlikely that the kid could bring his dad's gun to school if it's not locked up.

If the parents aren't helpful, talk to the principal and the trasportation department director.

Good luck!

    Bookmark   January 30, 2003 at 9:49AM
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I'd go to the principal.

After what's happened throughout the country, that sort of talk will land a child in detention/alternative placement depending on the severity of the threat.

He may be mouthing off, but he needs to be told by someone in authority this isn't acceptable.

    Bookmark   January 30, 2003 at 10:59AM
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I feel for you. In this day of school shootings, albeit from an elementary student, nothing is dismissed anymore. Perhaps a call to the parents in a nice way expressing your concern about the comments would help. But it better help immediately. If not, perhaps the home life is not supportive. Then the principal- within a day - is definatly in order. A 5 yr.old shouldn't be subjected to that. I wish you the best.

    Bookmark   February 3, 2003 at 7:36PM
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I was a bus driver. Do not go to the parents unless you know them and how they would respond. It is better to let the driver, and school work it out.

These threats are serious, and this is considered harrassment at the very least.

First: call the bus barn and tell them you want to discuss a problem your child is having on the bus and ask to speak to his driver. Tell them what is going on (they may be aware of it too). If your child feels insecure on the bus he should sit in front seat until this is resolved for his own safety. It could be the kid might say something to your son when he passes and the driver will hear it too...then the driver can write a referral/citation and then you have a paper trail started which is very good. Everything needs to be documented. Hopefully your driver will write it up...it's good to have a paper trail.

Next: contact the principal, or person that deals with bus behavior. If this child is bothering other kids you can bet they already know about him. The school can set up a behavior plan or other necessary step to determine what should be done. It is very likely this child will loose bus privelages for awhile or the rest of the year. Unfortunatley, each Principal deals this in their own way. Some are much more strict than others.

If you do not get any support for the school, I would contact the Superintendant and suggest to them that you feel you will have to contact the police department if action is not taken. They will most likely feel complelled to do something about it :-)

    Bookmark   February 14, 2003 at 4:06AM
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Thanks everyone! I just paid to be a MEMBER, so now I can post here again!! Some may cringe, but I'm baaaack!:) The incident with my son oddly handled itself, the bully boy just started to be nice to my son the next day, and I found out where he lives, right around the corner from us! Maybe this first grader was somehow "testing" my sons courage or something, I did send a note to my son's teacher and called the school though. It's nice that things ended up this way, now when we go around the block the kids say "hi" to one another by name...no more horrible bully stories! I'm grateful though, these days the smallest comment can be so frightening!!!

    Bookmark   April 28, 2003 at 12:40AM
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