Son is misbehaving at kinder, Father not home.

fishinfamilyoJanuary 28, 2008

I just off the phone with my wife and my son just got a behavirol referral to the office, for misbehaving. I am not at home with them due to be being in the navy. My wife has already talked to the teacher and counsler, and they both said that he is a bright boy, and is very polite. For some reason he is not listening in the classroom and recently has been misbehaving in the bathroom (walking around with his pants down). My wife has taken him to see a doctor and they found nothing wrong with him. Since he is in a dual language classroom, a family member said he might get bored. I think it has alot to do with me not being home, can someone please help. What can we do?

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I'm a teacher. If this is the first report in the school year, I would look at this very simply. This is not as unusual as you think, even with fathers at home. Many, many kindergartners have to learn how to behave in school. I would interpret this as just a silly boy thing, maybe looking for some attention from his buddies. When parents are on the same page as the teacher/principal, it makes it much, much easier for kids. So I would just make it clear to your son that this is not acceptable at school. Make sure he understands what the rules in the classroom are. Have him tell them to you. (Typically, they will be things like, Raise your hand to talk, no talking in the halls, no touching other people's property, etc.) Once you are sure he understands, make sure he understands your expectations, as well as the consequences of misbehavior. With little kids it really doesn't take a big, horrible consequence so much as 100% consistency. He has to know that if he goofs around at school, he will pay a consequence at home. And then don't harp on it unless he gets in trouble again. If he does, he gets the consequence. I see kids at school all the time whose parents sometimes try too hard to figure out what's causing something. They get a mixed message that maybe it's okay to be goofy at school sometimes, instead of a clearcut boundary. You can see them at school, trying to figure out which rules they HAVE to follow and which mom and dad don't care about. Be sure he gets plenty of attention every day when he comes home, not extra attention if he has gotten in trouble. If he's bright and polite, and this is the first report, I'd keep it very simple. Let him see that you can take this in stride but there will be consequences for not following the rules in school. I have 4th and 5th graders who are still struggling with this. It makes their lives unnecessarily difficult and really interferes with their learning...

    Bookmark   January 29, 2008 at 6:22PM
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I agree with bestyears. My DD is in kindergarten and a boy in her class recently pulled his pants down. I am sure he was being silly and thought it was funny. Don't over-react but do stress that he will have consequences if you hear bad reports about him.

Boys seem to act up in kindergarten more than girls -- I think it is a maturity thing. But make sure you put on track now because if he did something like that in 2nd grade they would not take it lightly.

    Bookmark   January 31, 2008 at 1:06PM
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Good advice for you here, Dad. Just communicate to him regularly about school--that you expect him to do his best, listen in class, mind the teacher. Ask how he is doing in school, what they learned today, etc. Let him know that his doing well in school is important to you. You are obviously doing well with him from the comments from the teacher that he is polite. That is HUGE.

    Bookmark   March 5, 2008 at 8:40PM
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