Need Purpose

judyw_retiredDecember 3, 2008

I've been retired almost a year now. Lost my mother just a few days before I retired in 2007. The first 4 months of retirement were busy taking care of her estate. Then the weather warmed and there was lots to do outside. Since the weather has turned cold again, I find I need something to keep my mind busy. It's easy to stay busy physically, but I need something to challenge me mentally. Any suggestions?

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Hi judy w ... retired,

Here's something to occupy you in the next period when you have three uninterrupted hours available.

Give some thought to who you are.

Strengths and weaknesses.

Relationships to others.

Then ... what have you thought over the years that you'd like to do some day? That you've been putting off - no time! Or for whatever other reason - timidity?

A study of some subject (whether formally in a course(s) ... or informally, on your own)? A hobby?

How far to the nearest library?

They have books, movies, computers (including internet connections - but you have that now).

Study a variety of things - including how to manage money.

Join a group - many have some interesting ones.

Visit the community centre - there are many activities there , usually including some for seniors.

Do you have a clearing house for opportunities for volunteer service in your community? Most have a wide enough variety that there's something to pique everyone's interest.

Do you feel at home in your community? How about agreeing to canvass on streets near your home for a charity? I'll bet that you'll find at last three or four compatible people ... more likely half a dozen! Folks with whom you might like to get together for coffee, to visit a museum, take a trip, etc. occasionally.

Is there a Big Sisters/Brothers agency in your area? Many kids need a relationship with an older same-gender person.

Good wishes as you set out on this new adventure!!

Remember - with regard to body and physical capabilities, and mental and spiritual capabilities, plus social, sport, educational, religious, etc. interests, as well:

use _ them _ or _ lose_ them!!

ole joyful

    Bookmark   December 4, 2008 at 12:03AM
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Here is a thought to consider. When you retire and if in good health think about helping people in some third world country. The knowledge we have while growing up in Canada, U.S.A., and excreta. The basic skills we learned while growing up like healthy eating and sanitation fixing things, wiring houses correctly dispelling myths and maintenance. All are tools that these counties need. ItÂs very fulfilling to see a person thanking you for helping then with knowledge that you thought was common sense to you. All the knowledge that you have acquired in your life here is an opportunity to put it to use.

    Bookmark   December 5, 2008 at 8:54AM
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What do you feel connected to, animals, children or the elderly? Helping others is very rewarding. I love animals and my condo building doesn't allow dogs. I volunteer at a local no kill shelter. If you love children there are many places to help out. Feeling that you are giving back to the world helps you feel needed again.

    Bookmark   December 7, 2008 at 7:45PM
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Judy W~~~

I am glad you posted this.....maybe there are some ideas I can use also. I retired in 2000 and so did my health...something all the time since then....surgeries, hip replacement...severe I am very limited as to what I can physically do. Time is long on my hands....and how much house can I clean?....we don't get it dirty.

I was a school secretary for 27 years, so I do volunteer twice a week at an local elementary school doing clerical work for the teachers....they seem to appreciate it and it keeps me in a "school situation", which I really do miss.

I joined the Red Hatters group, but we have kinda folded....our leader doesn't seem to want to do anything that requires us to go out of town and there is nothing much to do here.....but do have 4-5 special lady friends who go out to lunch, movies, plays, etc.

DH is retired, but he is constantly parked in his recliner watching TV 24/7 and I get tired of doing that.

I do spend a lot of time on this web-site reading forums...some of them are so interesting...but the day goes by....but my mind is not challenged. The weather here is very cold, so sure is easy to just stay inside because I am terribly afraid of falling with this "artificial joint"....don't know if I could get back up.

Good luck to you and maybe we both can get some ideas.

    Bookmark   December 20, 2008 at 7:40PM
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Do some volunteer work. I have done some theatrical costuming for a local theatre group. The schools might need someone to help kids with reading. Delivering meals on wheels, helping at the local hospital. What about the local animal shelter? Seek and ye shall find.
Kathy G in MI

    Bookmark   January 24, 2009 at 2:36PM
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Have you thought about the YMCA? I am disabled but still work out at the Y almost every day. This gives me an avenue for fellowship as well as keping me in good health. The Y can help you structure a work out program to meet around your helth challenges. You will also meet many others just like you.

Here is a link that might be useful: Traveling and cooking with grandpa

    Bookmark   February 18, 2009 at 1:11PM
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I had the same situation occur to me this past year. My Mom passed away suddenly in March leaving my Dad to be cared for who my brother and sister-inlaw so graciously decided to move in with him to care for him. I retired in December (which I had planned to do when I had the time in at my government job)and since then have been in a down mood ever since. My wife still works and doesn't plan to retire soon. I enjoy fixing dinner for her but my mood is affecting her also. Right now is not a good time to get a part-time job, there just aren't any.
What have you found that helps? I am still struggling with the feeling of loss of identity and structure.

    Bookmark   April 20, 2009 at 1:38PM
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I have been retired 4 years from the Federal Government. I do not want my job back but find retirement very difficult. I have tried courses, book group, volunteering but need something else.

Any suggestions on part time jobs? Don't want to be a manager, boss or have to make too much of a committment. I know......very particular but I am who I am at this time in my life. I am looking for something active (no sitting, no computer) Busywork would suit me fine and a little pay on the side would be great.

    Bookmark   July 6, 2009 at 11:30AM
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Try Genealogy. Start by researching your family and see how far back you can trace your ancestors. You'll soon find that it takes real detective work to unravel some of the data. It gives you a reason to travel back to places where your ancestors have been.

The nice thing about genealogy is that you can do little or a lot of effort. However, it does help to organize a bit before you begin, that is, think ahead about what you might do with your findings. Ultimately, you may wantt to cosntruct a complete history of your family that is suitable for passing along to your heirs. Photos are great additions to a "book' of your family.

By the time you get back a few generations, you will find yourself immersed in early US history. Its a great way to study American History and to connect with the beginnings of your country. You will find surprises. The odds are good that you will find someone in your background who was connected to the early formation of your country.

If nothing more, it will give you a reason to pay a visit to relatives with whom you have lost contact. (There may be a few cases where you will wish to maintain a distance with certain relatives.)

As you become better at genealogy, you could consider becomming professional, or at the other extreme, drop out. If you drop out, you have lost nothing except the chance to discover more about your ancestors.

    Bookmark   July 10, 2009 at 4:21PM
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