For Donnakt

ivamaeOctober 3, 2005

Donna, a lot of us understand how you feel. I lost my dear partner almost 6 years ago. I will admit the first while was the worse but it is still very hard, especially at times. I am a person who finds it hard to meet new people but I also knew how important it was, especially for someone with my personality. (I was an only child, living out in the contry, with no close playmates and knew a very lonely life and understood that I couldn't cope with that loneliness again.) I joined several programs that offered 6 or 8 sessions each. They were a wonderful way to meet new people and I did. Through these, I learned of a bereavement group and these dear people wouldn't let it drop. I had to join in order to get them to let up. I am so thankful that they were persistant. It did me a world of good and I met more dear friends. There were 7 in our group. Shortly after it finished ( 10 weekly seesions I believe) one went to Florida for the winter and decided she could get on with her life without us. The rest of us decided we still needed each other, and after all this time, we are still meeting weekly, at a local food court in a mall. We just still need each other. We have very serious conversations at times, other times it is hilarious. We all know how the other feels. One of our group is now in a nursing home. The first one did get on with her life quickly and is remarried. One of the others is remarried but still joins us most weeks, without his new wife accompanying him. Another one of the group phones me almsot daily. We do need support and for a long time. But the bottom line is that, life does go on and we have to pull ourselves up and do whatever it takes to make the best of the situation. Our departed love ones would not want us to do anything else. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Do keep posting and let the love of the KT friends help you.


Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

donna, I'll add a note here too. So sorry to learn of your loss. No matter what preparations we make, it seems we are never ready to lose our loved ones. I hope that all is going well for you. I agree with IM. I have worked in these fields for years and there are some very helpful groups out there. You can usually find out about them through your hospital pastoral dept.

ivamae, "But the bottom line is that, life does go on and we have to pull ourselves up and do whatever it takes to make the best of the situation." This is true, but I have found through others that there is no way to hurry the grieving process. It will take it's own time, in fact, I don't think that the grieving ever completely ends. But you are right that life does go on and you can give yourself permission to begin to enjoy it. It in no way diminishes the love or reflects the amount of love for the lost one. It simply begins to let you love yourself again - enough to do some enjoyable things with others and by yourself.
I wish you well too, in the ability to pull yourself up, as you say, and have some fun and get on with life.

Well, well, well, that is my fav. cousing's name, so I like you already. Funny how names influence us, isn't it?
Blessings to both of you,

    Bookmark   October 12, 2005 at 7:39PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I agree with you Gramma Jan. Everyone moves at their own speed. No two people are the same. I know I'm still grieving and I expect you are right, that we always will be. However, I do think we need to do all we can to get out with friends, especially ones going through the same thing. Slowly we will get there, each in our own way and each at our own speed.

    Bookmark   October 14, 2005 at 6:51PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Should my husband retire at age 55?
My husband will be 55 next Febuary and can retire with...
anyone have two homes in retirement
dh and i have been having trouble deciding where to...
neighbors dumpster
This is not an appropriate topic for this forum but...
Elderly mother cancelled her long-term care policy
Apparently, the premiums were increasing significantly...
Retiring Abroad: Costs of 12 cities
Does not cover healthcare, which can be complex enough...
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™