Donna, a lot of us understand how you feel. I lost my dear partner almost 6 years ago. I will admit the first while was the worse but it is still very hard, especially at times. I am a person who finds it hard to meet new people but I also knew how important it was, especially for someone with my personality. (I was an only child, living out in the contry, with no close playmates and knew a very lonely life and understood that I couldn't cope with that loneliness again.) I joined several programs that offered 6 or 8 sessions each. They were a wonderful way to meet new people and I did. Through these, I learned of a bereavement group and these dear people wouldn't let it drop. I had to join in order to get them to let up. I am so thankful that they were persistant. It did me a world of good and I met more dear friends. There were 7 in our group. Shortly after it finished ( 10 weekly seesions I believe) one went to Florida for the winter and decided she could get on with her life without us. The rest of us decided we still needed each other, and after all this time, we are still meeting weekly, at a local food court in a mall. We just still need each other. We have very serious conversations at times, other times it is hilarious. We all know how the other feels. One of our group is now in a nursing home. The first one did get on with her life quickly and is remarried. One of the others is remarried but still joins us most weeks, without his new wife accompanying him. Another one of the group phones me almsot daily. We do need support and for a long time. But the bottom line is that, life does go on and we have to pull ourselves up and do whatever it takes to make the best of the situation. Our departed love ones would not want us to do anything else. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Do keep posting and let the love of the KT friends help you.