How Long Did It Take You...

buzzardFebruary 14, 2002

...to learn to retire? Did you and DH retire at the same time? How long was your adjustment period?

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wanda_va

DH and I retired the same day - December 1993. It took me about 30 seconds to adjust! I was only 46, but had worked for 30 years. I missed my co-workers, but certainly didn't miss the alarm clock...or the 80-hour workweeks. I sure hope I never have to go back to work, cuz I don't think I could do it. I LOVE retirement!!!

    Bookmark   February 14, 2002 at 9:52PM
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hayjud_mn

buzz,
I think a SHAW has a harder time adjusting, because we have every part of the former life changed (not necessarily to our advantage!) DH's biggest change is not having to go to work, especially no alarm clock. That is all 'sought after!' I lost most of my freedom. That is not sought after! But I am adjusting!
I am thankful that most of the people that know us, ask me how "I" am adjusting to retirement. I apreciate the fact that they realize that it is not only a change for him.
Wow! I'm just about getting into a pitty-party here! I know I am going to enjoy it just as much, but I have some things to learn.

BTW buzz, I hope to see you on June 29th. I'm really looking forward to that.
Hayjud

    Bookmark   February 14, 2002 at 11:27PM
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bodiCA

Our retirement lifestyle began 4 years ago, and I find the stranges part is having no schedule. I love having my husbands company, but never know when I will have the house to myself to vacumn, clean, do laundry, bathe and shampoo........etc.

    Bookmark   February 15, 2002 at 2:34PM
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carol_in_california

DH retired in 1992 and it took him about a year to learn to relax...I retired from full time nursing in 1994 but worked part time when it was convenient so we got to travel a lot. I retired full time almost four years ago and it took me all of six seconds to adjust! I haven't been back into the clinic where I worked for 23 years...I used to wonder why people who did retire kept coming in "just to visit."

    Bookmark   February 16, 2002 at 10:38PM
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mariend

I retired early at 55, because of stress and had fun taking college courses, and selling Avon for fun. Husband retired about 10 years ago, and we started traveling all over US and Canada. Built a house in ND, trying to sell in Calif so we can travel more.
Took both of us about a year, miss the people (some( but not the job.
Marie

Love shopping MID WEEK

    Bookmark   February 17, 2002 at 12:06AM
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betty_the_villages

Boy! what bodiCA said "I love having my husband's company, but never know when I will have the house to myself to vacumn, clean, do laundry, bathe and shampoo........etc."
This is that worst part for me. It was nice to have some time alone. My husband now has joined a Gym to work out. I did not join so I could have some time alone for me.
We retired to an active adult community in Florida. We love it and all is working out very well. There is lots to do here and not enough time :-))
Betty in Florida

    Bookmark   February 19, 2002 at 10:37AM
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craftyrn

It's been 7 yrs since I had to take early retirement d/t rheumatoid Arthritis--the hardest thing for me to get used to was "unscheduled " time--part of the problem was probably that I was never a meticulious homemaker-clean but cluttered type style---& the first couple years of retirement my house was ALWAYS dirtier than it had ever been while I was working---it was as if " I've got all this time to wash the floor-heck I'll do it tomorrow or the next day" & it was the same with getting books back to the library, running into town to pay bills, making Dr appts etc. I became the world's worst procrastinator !!
Finally I got myself onto a schedule of sorts-bills one day, clean the bathrm every Fri, take a class at the comm. college every Wed etc. Now I find I have lots to keep me busy & tho I still tend to put off doing things like washing the windows things seem to fall into place as far as my time goes---I love sleeping in mornings & having my first cup of tea in my jammies out on the back deck.
Now Hubby's semi retired and I find myself without time for "just me"-more a feeling of "guilt" about giving up "my time" then anything he says or does--.

Diane

    Bookmark   February 22, 2002 at 11:29PM
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joyfulguy

One of the stories that I told as retirement counsellor:

One day hubby retires.

Next morning he sits in rocker, reads the newspaper for a while.

Puts paper down on lap, looks around.

Picks up paper, reads some more.

Puts down paper, looks around. Picks it up, reads for a while.

Repeat of same.

Wife asks, "Something wrong, Dick?"

Dick, "Where's breakfast?"

Anne, "You retired yesterday, didn't you?"

Dick, "Yes - you know I did".

Anne, sweetly, "So did I".

Anne continues, "I'll get breakfast now. Then we'll sit down to discuss whose job it's going to be to do what in the way of chores around here".

That story usually gets quite a response. Quite a number of wives have agreed. Several males somewhat less enthusiastic: but quite a few think that a fair way to do things.

Divvy the chores up more or less evenly, taking account of personal likes and dislikes.

Equality of opportunity.

Equality of responsibility.

Is it possible to arrange to have hubby be gone from the home at certain times? Or, if you ask to have the house to yourself for a time? If turned out without warning, would he feel bereft, sort of at sea, with nothing to do and nowhere to go?

Could he call a friend and go visit (one of several)? Go for a drive, with or without friend? Visit the coffee shop to chew the rag with other retirees? Visit the library? They have hundreds of magazines, thousands of books, several computers (a number connected to internet: he could even offer retirement counsel).

Or - if he has a shop in the basement or garage, could you be happy if he were "exiled" there for a while? Could he? Many, especially folks who didn't work with their hands, like woodworking, metal work, etc. as a hobby.

Or, if he likes to read, maybe he could settle in one room for a few hours with a book, leaving the rest of the house to you.

Some families have some hobbies that they follow as retirees together, along with some that they pursue alone.

How about agreeing that, when you need some time to yourself, you give some sort of signal, and depart for a certain room, or whatever, with hubby to give you some time to yourself?

Are you prepared to permit the same privilege to hubby, to have the house (or part of it) to himself for a time, occasionally?

With or without prior agreement/warning to you?

Would you feel that too much interference with your right to full-time occupancy of "my house"?

On the other hand, perhaps it would be helpful if you have some time with friends to do things together.

I suggested to retirees (and prospectives) that they keep finding new friends. Some have said that they didn't want to put themselves to the extra bother.

I said that it was necessary - to replace losses as friends moved away or died.

I've had a good friend who's always full of ideas, always on the move and doing things (and he completed tasks quickly) for over 25 years. He died last week - I've just come back from visiting his family after the funeral.

Sorry that this is so long.

Good wishes for continued - and increasing - enjoyment of good health of body, mind and spirit (and the friends to share those blessings with).

ole joyful

    Bookmark   August 8, 2003 at 12:02AM
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lulie___wayne

I was fortunate in that I was able to take a leave from my job the year before I actually retired. Of course, after the leave was up, I still had the option to go back to work. That year off, was a good trial period. My DH has not retired yet, but he only works 6 months out of the year the way he schedule falls. Being that he is off many days during the week, we have been able to do things together during the week and also have vacations for long periods of time during the year which we thoroughly enjoy. Before, since I was a teacher, we had to plan our vacations around the school vacations. To answer your question, I always loved teaching, but it hasn't taken me long at all to know that I do not want to go back to work.
I'm having too much fun and my days are very full. I am NEVER bored.I don't think that I will have to worry about DH being under foot when he retires. We share common interests, but also have separate hobbies, which I feel is a must for any couple. I feel a little guilty sometimes when I don't have to go to work and he does, but he is so sweet about it. He encouraged me not to go back to work.
So, of course, that thrills me. I can't wait until he retires and we can do even more of what we want. :))
Getting old is not all bad!! :)))
Lu

    Bookmark   August 9, 2003 at 6:40PM
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joyfulguy

When we enjoy the blessing of good health ... being old is a wonderful time.

My family, I included, has weak lungs: my Dad, a farmer in this area, had breathing problems so moved 1600 miles to the prairies over 55 years ago - and enjoyed forty years of good health there.

My brother, who's son's not interested in the farm, says that this is his last year to farm. I told him that he, born in 1934, should farm till 2004.

I used to give Dad heck for smoking a pipe and cigars - then started to smoke at age 16.

After about six months, liking neither the taste nor, being frugal, the cost, I quit.

Now, I'm very thankful that I had sense enough to quit.

None of us four offspring smoked for any length of time.

It adds a good deal to one's prosperity, as well.

I've suggested to quite a few that they invest at least part of the savings when they quit - so that they can spend some dollars doing what they please while enjoying longer, healthier retirement.

I hope that you're all enjoying yours.

Suggest to some of your mid-career friends that they plan now for retirement, as many don't put aside nearly enough during their earning years.

Question: When should you start planning, saving and investing to prepare for retirement?

Answer: The day that you're born. Every day that you delay starting makes the implementation more difficult.

Question: If you're a grandparent who invests $600. at the birth of your first grandchild, and, with the help of a shrewd financial advisor, are able to earn 15% growth, what will be the result for your grandchildren?

Answer: When that first grandchild reaches the age of 65, five grandchildren will be millionaires. And there'll be over a quarter million for the sixth. No allowance for the erosion of income by tax, or of the value of the asset due to inflation.

Good wishes to all for a healthy, happy retirement with a number of interesting things to do - with a number of good friends. And, if I may, some activities to help make your community and the world a better place to hand on to our offspring with a measure of pride.

ole joyful

    Bookmark   August 11, 2003 at 8:49AM
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