Confused

bob47January 26, 2006

Maybe someone could give me some advice regarding retirement. I am recently separated from my husband, (hence my user name). I am receiving financial support from him and will be entitled to a portion of his pension, and 401K when he retires. My concern though is that I have recently become involved with a man, who has been self employed, and does not have any savings or pension, etc. He was married for 20yrs. to a women who is alcoholic, and has lost basically everything. This man treats me much better than my husband did, and is incredibly kind and sensitive. I am terrified though at his financial situation especially when he is no longer able to work. I would feel very sad if I could no longer see him for this reason. Does anyone have any words of advice they could give me. Thanks

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joyfulguy

bob47,

I can understand your concern for his financial future.

His financial situation is his problem, isn't it, as long as you continue to be arm's length pals?

Should you begin to live together, various states, provinces, etc. have varying laws as to how much of his debts you'd be responsible for, or responsibility to support him.

In a number of areas, were you to live together for varying lengths of time, depending on the jurisdiction, you might be required to split your pensions with him, should you later split up.

Are there other financial concerns that you have relative to his situation?

So long as you are separated, prior to divorce, does your support from your previous spouse and sharing of his pensions become jeopardized should you become intimately involved with another person? Live together?

I'm pleased that you have found a companion with whom ou are pleased, and hope that things work out well for you both.

ole joyful

    Bookmark   January 28, 2006 at 4:01PM
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minnie_tx

I think things would work out ok as long as he keeps his place of residence and you keep yours. After so many years most people don't change their ways of doing things.

    Bookmark   January 28, 2006 at 11:06PM
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devorah

I suspect the real concern here is not that you would somehow become responsible for him in some legal sense, but that as you grow closer it will become impossible for you to see him do without. That's a judgment call that only you can make.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2006 at 7:30PM
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