Maybe it just wasn't meant to be .....

phoggieDecember 28, 2011

Things seem to happen for a reason. We have had this house for sale for 18 months....showings good....but no $$$.

Well, it is such a good thing right now that we are not in the processing of moving/building etc. Last Monday, my DH had a severe heart attack(s)....and I finally just took him to the ER...even though he said it was "indigestion"....well, it was way more than that! The major artery is 100% blocked, 2 are 95% blocked and one 75%....and he is so fortunate to even be alive. They wanted to do surgery the next day, but his blood sugar shot up, his blood pressure bottomed out and he has pneumonia!!!

The numbers are better, but they are still trying to break up the pneumonia so they can do surgery on Friday or Saturday. He is 80, so he has some things against him, so this house selling is very minor in our lives right now....but we did have a showing this afternoon.

This selling etc. has taken decades off of my life....stress does kill....and we are fortunate it hasn't so far.....but who knows what tomorrow might bring.

I hope you all had a good Christmas....ours was not what we planned, but we managed to pull ourselves through it. I hope you all have a good New Year and good health!

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ottawavalleygardener

I've been following your situation, and I'm so sorry to hear this latest development - hope all goes well with your husband's recovery.

The most stressful purchase & sale we ever had was in 1984 when we waived the condition that we sell our house before buying the one we loved. There was an overlap of about 60 days which was very expensive! Never again.

    Bookmark   December 29, 2011 at 7:16AM
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cas66ragtop

Wow - so very sorry to hear about your husband's health issues. I hope he can overcome them very quickly and I hope he still has many years left. I know this is also hard on you - I hope you are handling it well. Yes, the house selling biz takes a back seat to your health issues. I'm sorry you have been having trouble there, too.

People say this all the time, and I had a hard time accepting it myself, but when selling a house in today's market, it is all about price. People aren't interested in paying a "fair price" - they want a bargain, and they don't care if they offend you in obtaining that bargain. If your house has been sitting too long, and you really want to get rid of it, unfortunately, you have to cater to these bargain hunters.

Good luck - with your house and especially with your health.

    Bookmark   December 29, 2011 at 7:32AM
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azmom

I am sorry to hear that your husband is waiting for the surgery. This definitely puts additional stress on you besides selling the house; please take good care of yourself.

Wish you and your family a Great New Year!

    Bookmark   December 29, 2011 at 7:34AM
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chisue

phoggie -- Oh, SO sorry! You are great to put a positive face on this, seeing that at least you are not in the midst of negotiating a sale or moving.

Let's hope the pneumonia breaks up and the MD's can do the necessary work on your DH's arteries.

Come on over the the Kitchen Table forum, and we'll all help you shoulder this trouble!

    Bookmark   December 30, 2011 at 6:34PM
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liriodendron

Phoggie,

Just wanted to let you know that my DH had a very severe and damaging heart attack in April of 2009. I didn't know what we were in for and the Drs were giving him a poor prognosis for survival without a transplant.

I want you to know that he is doing very, very, well these days. It's been a long, difficult, road but his heart recovered a lot and he is transplant-, defibrillator-, CHF-free and back in the gym working out there and on the farm again.

Back then I couldn't have imagined that he would ever get back to where he is today. Get your DH to cardiac rehab - a must once he's out of the hospital - get him on the best meds, change of diet, reduced stress, etc., and things may look considerably better.

I won't kid you, this is a scary and very difficult thing to deal with. And it will be tougher on you than you can imagine so be sure to take care of yourself in every way you can, starting right row. But at the time I wasn't hearing anyone tell me about possible better outcomes, so I also felt very hopeless. I just wanted you to know that things can get better even if they seem pretty bleak at the time.
I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

L.

    Bookmark   December 31, 2011 at 12:47AM
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phoggie

I so much appreciate all of your kind words. We had hoped surgery would have been all over by now and on the road to recovery.....but it still has not happened....that pneumonia just will not go away! We were all primed for yesterday morning, but white count was very high again...blood pressure low...and now it is just on "hold" until things turn around.

I was getting so worn out that he "made" me go back home (60 miles away) for some week-end rest. I phoned him a few minutes ago and he sounded so terribly weak....worse than ever before....does not want any company...even me, for now.

I try to rest...but can not turn my mind off...my own chest is hurting....caused by stress...I take meds and I feel so "out of it". This house is on my mind also....but that can wait....but it is always with me too.

It was so good to know that things CAN get better, even if they seem so bleak.

    Bookmark   December 31, 2011 at 10:39AM
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raee_gw

Dear Phoggie, I am praying hard for you and your husband right now.

    Bookmark   December 31, 2011 at 6:15PM
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suz1023

me too. my husband has scared me so many times this brunette is totally grey at 51! but after lots of great care he's not only still here but he's happy and feeling pretty darn great most of the time. prayers you and yours have a similar experience!

    Bookmark   December 31, 2011 at 9:42PM
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liriodendron

Phoggie,

I know it will be hard but do try to rest a bit tonight and this weekend.

I remember feeling physically awful, too, after the first day or two of emergency/adrenaline-fuled intensity. At one point my normally low BP was nearly 200 (that scared me enough to go back to the ER, for myself - but it was only stress fortunately).

One thing to ask your DH's docs: Does he also have some fluid build-up in his lungs due to the diminished blood-flow from the blocked arteries resulting in pulmonary edema? That combined with a pneumonia infection will make your DH very uncomfortable. But fortunately they can treat that by giving him diuretics (Lasix) to flush the fluid out which will make it easier for him to breathe, despite the pneumonia. It's good he's in the hospital because they can monitor him and give him meds to support his heart despite the blockages as they resolve the other issues.

I assume that since you're so far away that he's at a regional cardiac intensice care unit where they have a lot of experience treating this sort of thing? That's good!

At a certain point you have to force yourself to understand that there's nothing more you can do at the moment. All that can be done, is being done. So eat (anything), sleep if you can, or at least do something to divert your mind. I stayed away from alcohol or sedatives since I knew I might have to drive at any point. Keep your cell fully charged, make sure you have gas in the car. Do some laundry if you're out of clothes.

I hope you have much better news in the near future. I will keep on praying for you both.

L.

    Bookmark   December 31, 2011 at 9:55PM
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phoggie

See my recent post....and thanks for your thoughts and prayers....but he is gone.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2012 at 9:21AM
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skatiero

Phoggie, I am so very sorry.

    Bookmark   January 1, 2012 at 10:31PM
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